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Well signing-on had not gone as I’d expected. First off, I hadn’t had the advisor I’d thought I would and, the smiling blonde I’d dealt with had been convivial. That said, I’d heard someone there getting the lecture I’d expected, about their plans for those who have finished the work programme. What I’d overheard had been my fears realised, signing-on in Birkenhead. Needless to say, I left the dole feeling a tad out of it, as things had not gone as expected. Anyway, come the evening I had taken myself to voluntary work, with a body that was getting really tired and, other than myself, there had been just Roger and the newbie volunteer, Emma. And, the night had been a busy one, consequently come Friday I awoke aching and, spent much of the day feeling like death warmed up…

Come Thursday morning we got the rain that’d been forecast for days. But, it’d been so light that the soil was hardly dampened, which concerned me s I’d laid down seed. Once I’d finished I had my coffee as I put some CD films onto DVD, did some writing, then took myself, then took myself into the back, to sweep the short path, leading to the black bin, where we put our peelings, ignoring Dad politely, when he’d told me it was going to be showery. Then when I’d finished the job, Dad asked me, “Why was it so important to get that done now?” “’Coz Mum told…” I’d explained quite simply… The funny thing is that if I had not done the job, I’d not have found a lighter I lost there days prior: shades of the USB with my stories on that I’d lost for nearly a week, till it turned up, where Dad’s got his needles. And, it’s my memory of Mum’s requirements for her garden that had led me to do some weeding, on the side border in the front. And, I do think she’d be pleased that I’ve now got White Alison growing there; as it’s something she’d wanted me to do. What’s more, I think I’ve got a French Marigold coming through. I’m dead chuffed about that, as none of my ‘seedlings’ grew, not one.



Since the Baby BlueTits flew without saying as much as ‘Goodbye’, Dad’s been showing more attention to the Robin, with its nest in the Pyracatha. While the BlueTit seemed to feed it’s young every minute or so, with its mate, the Robin seems to feed it’s young every twenty minutes or so, if that. I’m quite sure Dad disapproves of it’s parenting skills.



We finally made an Executive Decision, in regards to the sewing-machine in an fold-out type unit on four legs, that Mum used to use so much. We’ve talked of what to do with it many times, at first seeking a sale. But, in this age of built-in obsolescence, as its not new there’s no interest in it, or so it had seemed from enquires that I’ve made. His decision had been to contact the hospice Claire House, for which he’d kept an advertisement requesting furniture etc… And, as Dad’s not keen on using the phone, in part due to his Tinitus, it had become my task to arrange an appointment for its pick-up, if they decided that they want it, that is. The unit Dad built for the sewing-machine is a one-off and I fully realise its worth. I wonder if the sellers will?



Anyway, Thursday evening it had been as busy on the project as I’d expected and, it’d been the chaotic diversion that I Need currently…



Needless to say, come Friday morning my body protested at rising when I did to go shopping with Dad: yet, it had to done…



I slept well Saturday, as the weather had changed, there’d been rain and the pollen level seemed decreased and, I’d woken with plans. I had decided to get the honey for Dad’s evening drink. I had thought I’d gone my stamps on the way. My problem had been getting the stamps first. I’d forgotten how much stamps had gone up and hadn’t had enough honey money left, by the time I’d got the stamps. So, thankful my honey shop is pretty nearby, I went out beneath a stormy looking sky, finding it enjoyable once again. Not only was I able to breathe the fresh air, but I’d changed that quickly enough. Before putting toasted cheese together I’d gone out into the garden and, having spent awhile out there pottering as my Mother would have done, I felt relaxed and yet, my sinus were back to the way I’d felt just a day prior. That said, I’d enjoyed pottering, much as she would have. I had missed the Robin though, whose chick flew and, who used to come so near me, when it was feeding. And it’s funny, when I’m gardening, I tend to think of the Robin being there, much as my Mother was…



The wind and rain of Saturday did not aid my sleep one little bit. I finally arose with the knowledge that I had to be ready for about one, as Barry had been going to aid me with a mission, acquiring Rum & Raisin Bournville chocolate, to go with Dad’s evening drink and, milk. I’d taken my time getting ready, as Sunday had been one of my ‘the body aches’ days. Well, Barry had a few delays, so I was ready when he called to help me and, we went travelling on a well-blustery day. Oh, there had been a blue-sky, but there’d also been a bit of a chill. Anyway, the mission had been a success and, he’d had a piece of Rum & Raisin Bournville, when I served Dad his evening hot milk, honey, now infused with a melted piece of Bournville chocolate…



With my next appointment with the dole impending my minds a tad askew much of the time. Perhaps that’s why I made the error I had? But, I am getting ahead of myself somewhat. After the rain of Sunday night, Monday seemed all fresh and pleasant, so after housework I had decided to wash my blue and grey robe. And, talk about needing it! I ending up rinsing the water three times; but I did not spin the robe before trying to put it on the line, hence what happened next. I had gone out, with the robes and pegs the begun to hang it up and, the line snapped. Needless to say, Dad had ended up helping, with his normal sarcasm flowing, most of it directed toward a society that can’t produce a reasonable washing-line. And, for a change, I had agreed with every word…

Well, on Wednesday I went to my last interview at Ingeus, spending much of it talking with Keith, a member of staff there I like, who has similar back issues to me. And, though my time there has proved fruitless, one can’t blame the staff, the system that they work within is not designed to accommodate the individual, in this case me.

Anyway, I’d been that wound up over this dole hassle that I’d felt the need to write it out, so I could try and come to terms with being a pawn between them and Ingeus. It’s all been chockering my head goodstyle and, at least writing it out, to send to those who may aid me feel a tad better. But by doing so, there’s a distinct chance I’ll have opened up a veritable shitstorm. I guess my next appointment at the dole will prove ‘interesting’ to say the very least.

Saturday was a good day and a pleasant distraction from a bad day and expectant bad times, so was well needed. Barry and Michael had called and we had been pleased that the weather had been with us, as we travelled.



We had gone to the model village Port Sunlight, pleased that the fountain was switched on, just for the photo opportunity alone. And, I’d been pleased to found out on enquiry, my Father’s model of Port Sunlight itself, is still there and being displayed.



Then we had gone to Birkenhead Priory, 'The Monks Ferry', from where Monks rowed passengers across the Mersey hundred of years ago. The last time I had seen the tower the fellow at the desk had pointed me to it had just been stones on the floor, some twenty years earlier, or so...



“Just let me know what you and your chums think of the place will you?” He’d said to me, as he’d thrust a small photocopied sheet into my hand, illustrating what bits meant what and where.



The Tower was AWESOME and, the view from the top and, the view from the top had been spectacular. And yes, days later the photo’s had looked as good as I’d hoped they would.



Well, from there we’d gone to West Kirby and enjoyed what we saw. It had been the next day I suffered. Heck, I even fell asleep sitting up, after writing a hassly letter, waking the next morning with every bone protesting. That said, I still did some gardening…



Thankfully Barry had given me a lift to the village to get my pennies on Tuesday, otherwise I’m sure Dad wouldn’t have got his housekeeping…

After several months of no contact with Ingeus, the work programme provider, they contact me on Thursday the 23rd May 2013 Ingeus had contacted me by letter, with an appointment with Michelle, for 12th June, touch not by phone, or email, which I prefer.



I had readied myself to look smart and attended my appointment; albeit six minutes late and, when I got there I was surprised to learn that I was not expected and, that my name was not on ‘the list’.



It transpires that Michelle, the advisor I was to see, could not be in that day and, as I was not on the ‘the list’ I hadn’t been phoned.



I was relieved to learn though, I was ‘on the system’, as it meant I would get my expenses home and, I would not face sanctions, for non-attendance.

On Tuesday Dad had looked out the front window and asked me, “Have you seen the Bluetits today?” “No,” I’d retorted, realising that as I looked out the window myself I’d not seen one myself, not on the lawn, or feeding. ‘Had we missed them fly?’

Again and again we had looked. I had even stood beneath the nesting box, much as I had when I’d been doing the front lawn on Monday. There’d been no cheaping, no sound from the box at all. Much later we sat drinking tea talking, “They’re not much good those Bluetits; they move in, use the box, then move on… at least the Robin sticks around…” And it had been strange; I’d felt the same in a way. He’d felt like he’d missed out on the seeing the young fly, for the first time and being fed for the last time sitting on the front lawn. Yet through all that he said, there was something else there, concern; concern that the young had not successfully flown and that the parents had been scared off, by cats pigeons, or magpie, as they had years earlier. So for all his resentment sounding rhetoric, his compassion had shone through, to me…

On Tuesday I was mollified to learn from the sister on my ‘well-man clinic’ that I’ve lost height and, I am no longer six-foot. And, what I’d thought had been sinusitis isn’t. It seems I have hayfever, which has manifest itself twice, this year and now this year, as the pollen count has got higher. All and irritant, but no reason to stay in and, especially when there’s gardening to do and a sunny day, so I bought some over the counter hayfever meds and the next day my knee ached, then burned, so I took myself a walk to the shops, a good walk to the shops. I was doing things ‘my way’ and, tho well-knackered on my return, I had still been up for making a casserole, then up for watering the front lawn, with a smile…



Come Thursday, after housework, both Dad and I were looking out the front window, as the blue-tit and its mate went to and from the nesting box to feed and we got to wondering how much energy they expend, seemingly feeding their young all the time, as it seems. Personally, I found myself musing as to when they get the chance to eat themselves… Anyway, that aside… it was hot, positively too hot for me… but I did some work on the front border, ‘for Mum’ and, I think she’ll have liked what I did. At least the Robin had seemed to approve, as it had come to about six inches from my head at one point. And, I think it is nesting, in the back garden. Now I’m not sure, but I think ‘he’ is… Come the evening there were few volunteers on the project as before and, just as it had been a busy night the previous week, it had been again. Once home I got even more intrigued with the show ‘Zero Hour’ than I had been, thankful I had more episodes to watch. I’d even woken to an episode paused, ‘coz tho my mind had been hyper, as it so often is after the project, the body had been tired, very tired…



And, come Friday it had been off and out quite early, finishing just as early: and all down to efficiency. It’d been just as hot as Thursday and, quite oppressive. I had gone for a walk tho, as it had been needed. Then come the evening, my friend Graham called round with ‘little dog’, a small hairy terrier type dog. We’d gone round to his and chatted and smoke and drank, watching ‘Enterprise’, ‘SG1’ and heard some early Hawkwind. On my return home I typed awhile, watching ‘Species’ on VHS.



Saturday had started off a little cooler than the day previous and Barry and I went travelling towards Bury, with an egg batch and the makings of coffee, as we had sought a hill or a river to consume them by. As it happens, Barry had left me at a good pub, having a pint at a bench in a beautiful bit of countryside, all rolling hills and, little yellow flowers. On his return he took some photos of me and for me; then, it had appeared as though it died on me. Well, we’d not wanted to lose the day, so continued with the other bit of the day’s plan and, a visit to Bury Market. With the walking, the heat and the traffic, I’d been thankful to be home, after a full day; and even more thankful to find that after charging the battery my camera worked. But, I’d had to rest my knees, after a good, full day…



Sunday my body ached, but I live with Dad, so jobs had to be done. I’d seen to his bed, then begun gardening on a hot day, with hay fever, that causes face-ache. I’d got a lot done, trimming bushes and working on the lawn. Needless to say, by the time I’d finished I needed to wash my face goodstyle… that said, I had been able to look back and see a job well done. And that had been pleasing indeed…

COMMENTS

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Isis101
00:54 Jun 10 2013

The older we get, the shorter we become...I use to be 5'8" - now I'm an inch shorter.

I hope that you get well soon though!

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POST COMMENT

On Wednesday I called at Karl’s and, as once again we discussed how young academics and specialists were now in movies and, remakes of movies. While I was there he had obtained a film for me, a 2013 release called ‘Killers Creed’’, which I’d seen while out with Barry. Well, when I got home and played it I had recognized the film. So I had scoured my collection of films and finally found the 2006 release of ‘Gene Generation’, the live action Manga, with a touch or three of ‘Blade Runner’ thrown into the mix; in other words, it’s cyberpunk. It stars Bai Ling, who I do like, quite a lot, with Doc Robbins from CSI as a villain. Anyway, after watching the beginning of ‘Killer Creed’ and noticing the similarities ‘tween the two film, I began to notice the differences. The 2006 release contained more backstory and dialogue, where the 2013 had much of it cut out, to speed up the obligatory action sequences. For me, that spoke a lot of today’s films and udiences.



On Thursday night we’d been busier than we had for months on the project and, there’d just been the three of us, to work the night. Needless to say, come the end of the evening I’d been well cream-crackered. Well, come Friday Dad and I had been up pretty early, to go get the shopping done and, see to washing his bedding. We’d even got some gardening done: all on a good weather day. Heck, I even sent an email to the dole, at their behest, detailing my disappointment with how I’ve been dealt with by Ingeus, the work Programme provider.



Come Saturday Barry called round at the time I’d said he might and, not when he’d intened: just one of those L.A.D.’s a Life Assisted Delay. We’d done some shopping in the ‘Port, then driven onto Frodsham, where we’d had a pleasant afternoon, in Castle House Park, or something like that. Barry had taken some photo’s for me and of me, with one being when I’d had the opportunity to sit in the drivers seat of a VW Campervan, decked out as a wedding vehicle. All in all, it had been a really good afternoon, on a pleasant sunny day. Heck, I hadn’t even minded the faceache from the increased pollen, too much…