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I know I am no longer young and, we no longer have black n white tv.

I want to bob for apples with me Mum again, just once.



But, you should have seen me the other week, a Wednesday afternoon; I think.

I stood in the middle of the lounge, just looking at the hearth, just staring at a picture of me at one, in an oval frame, resting between two crossed swords, beneath the breastplate. It showed me, being held by mum beneath my arms, as I paddled in the light incoming waves, giggling as she smiled at the camera, ensuring my trunks didn't fall off.



I saw this New Year in without my Little Mother again, with a whiskey. I saw in the New Year in as my Mum used to: looking out the front window at 12 midnight, as the fireworks go off over the river and the boats sounded their horns. The hump in the curtains used to amuse me. This night, I was the hump in the curtains...