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A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO, WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.



THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.



THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."



THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.



THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."



THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.



THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS; I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.



THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.



"I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish.

They are at the pearly gates waiting to enter into heaven.



St. Peter asks the first girl, 'Mary-Agnes, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?'

She giggles and shyly replies,'Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.'

St. Peter says,'Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.'



He then asks the next girl the same question, 'Catherine, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?'

The girl is a little reluctant but replies,'Well, once I fondled and stroked one. '

St. Peter says,'Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.'



SUDDENLY, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.

When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, 'Agatha! What seems to be the rush?'



The girl replies, 'If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water...... I want to do it before Brenda sticks her bottom in it.