**Giggles**14:22 Feb 20 2010
Times Read: 850
"Hello, Duty Officer here."
FRANTIC - "It's Sgt Harris at the Main Gate, sir."
"Yes, what's the matter, Sergeant?"
"You'd best come down right away sir, there's been an accident."
"What's happened?"
"It's Private Jones, sir. He's shot a man dead, sir."
"WHAT! I'll come at once!"
At the Main Gate there were two soldiers standing in a pool of light from the arc lamps and a body stretched out on the ground on the far side of the barrier.
"What's going on here, Sergeant Harris?"
"It's Private Jones, sir," said the Sergeant, saluting. "He's done shot this here bloke what I can only describe as stone dead, sir."
"Jones! Explain yourself at once!"
"It's like this, sir," said Jones, saluting.
"About fifteen minutes ago I heard these footsteps coming up the main drag, sir, and I comes out of me sentry box to see what's up, like."
"Yes, go on, Private."
"I can just make out a bloke what was standing on the edge of the lights, sir, and I shouts out, in accordance with standing orders, sir,
'ALT OO GOES THERE?"
"What happened then, Private?"
"Sir, the bloke, who was just a shadowy figure really, says FRIEND.
I was not deceived by this sir, so I shouts back, again in accordance with regulations sir, ADVANCE FRIEND AN' GIVE THE PASSWORD."
"Yes, yes, go on."
"The shadowy figure takes one step forward sir, and he says, all confident like, GOLDEN DRAGON. So, like a flash sir, I lifts me rifle
and shoots him dead, sir."
"Ah, I see. Well, Sergeant, sounds to me like a straightforward case of an attempted intrusion by person unknown, what do you think?"
"Quite right, sir," growled the Sergeant.
"Yes, well done, Jones. By the way, Sergeant, what is tonight's password?"
"It's GOLDEN DRAGON, sir."
"JONES! You bloody fool! You've shot a man dead who gave the right password!"
"Oh no sir, he definitely wasn't one of our blokes, sir."
"How do you know that?"
"Well sir, our blokes, when they are challenged, always shouts back F**K OFF DICKHEAD!"
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