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Angelus's Journal


Angelus's Journal

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58 entries this month
 

Currently..

16:22 Apr 29 2008
Times Read: 1,121


Currently, the sun is back out and shining bright, after a sudden heavy rainfall that I missed, for a change. I got the shopping done: my Father got the washing done and now, finally I have a chance to relax awhile. And boy, I so hope little Mother can sleep tonight… Another sleepless night and swear down, there’ll be a death. Mine.

..

Hours later:



CSI was good.

"This crimes got teo storey's.." Grissom.



~ and an early night is called for. I may sleep.



COMMENTS

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I philosophise..

00:06 Apr 29 2008
Times Read: 1,129


I philosophise.. said someone, I like



Marijuana, being illegal, while governments grow it ‘for study’: it’s ridiculous, why can’t they prescribe it to those who NEED it? They know it has proven abilities, yet pursue the state doctrine, that it's more harmful, than say, alcohol.



The thing is, who makes the law: the rich.

Who pays most of the tax? The poor.

Simple equation, isn't it?



..being self-aware is good.. over analysis is bad, I should know.


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..inconvenient.

13:33 Apr 27 2008
Times Read: 1,141


I'm going to Karls later: he's off on his hols soon & I'm lending him my camera's flashcard..

..poor time actually.. the Dr.Who convention is on next weekend.


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silly pictures

18:07 Apr 26 2008
Times Read: 1,153


..just been taking silly pictures. Maybe they'll work?? a Dalek and Baby from a 'house of a thousand corpses.'

..just one of ‘those ideas’ you have. Y’know?

..

Doctor Who is on soon .. and I'll have finished my pics soon. yep .. happy heads on!


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“It takes more than two minutes.”

17:09 Apr 26 2008
Times Read: 1,157


Arrived on time to see my employment advisor, sitting awhile and nagged a pregnant young brunette in a pink velour tracksuit, for cracking her knuckles by saying: “You’ll end up with knuckles like mine.”

Realizing my advisor would be busy a little longer, I got up and walked toward the stairwell. On the way out, I’d said to one of the two on the main desk, “Just goin out for two minutes, for a smoke. A smoker herself, she came back with, “It takes more than two minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll be gone for four,” I’d retorted with a smile and one downstairs and outside for my smoke.

Though just on the main road, the jobcentres down a long path and there’s quite a few trees and bushes there. I stood with my back to the building, right leg crooked, sole-flat on the brick, listening.

Although the road was not far away, as the rain fell lightly on a warm day, it was the birdsong I heard, as I’d smoked my ‘moke.

..

But the system is what it is: and when I returned to my interview, I learnt to my expected disappointment that I’ll soon find myself on a course, through a training agency. I know I have a past to work through, but I need assistance finding work, not another training course. But the system is what it is & it’s either that or a possible scheme toward a placement. A placement? Another opportunity for someone to earn money, as they shuffle papers, as I’m moved from one pigeonhole to another.

..

Needless to say, I knew that I would suffer from the distraction I sought in the evening with my friends in Wallasey, but I went looking anyway.







COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
17:12 Apr 26 2008

They put me on a course once....ha...the world was just not ready for me lol





 

Lean something new

22:54 Apr 24 2008
Times Read: 1,187


Sitting heree listening to Kris Kristofferson singing "Loving Her Was Easier (Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again' as I ramble away..

..



It’s something I try to do. Be open to new things. And, given the opportunity, learn new thing: and, meet new people.

From an ex-colleague I learnt nee ha, Cantonese for hello. From Meena I learnt the Mandarin, is similarly nee ha, How are you? Although generally, there are many differences between the two, it seems. (If you’re over 40 you speak Cantonese, if you’re under, it’s Mandarin, roughly.) From a Thai lap-dancer, I learnt that to greet someone in Thai, it’s Sower-say. Then tonight, when a volunteer in the kitchen asked if we wanted a drink, I learnt another ebay cha, do you want a drink of tea? Welll, that tickled me, as in England, Cha had been colloquial slang for ages, for several decades: well, certainly long before I was born.

..

Then on the way home, totally hyper, I got talking of cartoons and art and writing, with a theatre director, on the way home. Nice Lady. Too young. But a nice lady.

Name of Cara, or Carla.. although she seemed more like a Cara.

Thing was, I was on form, much as I used to be..

I wonder, was it just ‘coz I’d been busy and had a good night? Or, was it that two people said thank you? Or maybe even, tht one of the lads passed me a packet of green, just for me? Hmmm... could have been all three, I think.


COMMENTS

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ladyofdragonrose
ladyofdragonrose
20:55 Apr 25 2008

never stop learning......it keeps life interesting.





RedQueen
RedQueen
21:18 Apr 25 2008

yuh hunh...I had a feeling something was fueling this one...lol



And let us not forget that slight southern accent I occasionally impart to your british flow...*chuckling*





 

'How's the database going to rate you back?'

15:18 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 1,206




I can’t understand why people say ‘this is interesting’ on a forum thread. I mean, if I've nothing to contribute, I don't. Then again, I'm not as concerned about ratings as some people here: like those who stamp in the database, with a stamp hat says, 'rate back' .. like wtf!?! How's the database going to rate you back?

COMMENTS

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mysticwinds
mysticwinds
15:20 Apr 23 2008

Amen to that.





CryingMist
CryingMist
15:59 Apr 23 2008

the forum I *nods freneticly* There should be a minimum of 3 lines for each post, or at least 2. ..would make the forum "interesting" rofl lol lmao (I am so evil )

As for the database...well the box for stamp is there..I don't use it, but if others want to, cool. I mean they pay for the box? rofl Its like those who use their credit card when they have the money to pay, just to use what they can. Its their priviledge. No offence intened. Its just funny and allowed lol. So it's cool with me.





 

It’s St. Georges Day

13:24 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 1,209


It’s St. Georges Day and I’m sitting here on another sunny day. I found a job to try for, been out for pads for my Mother and seen my physical ideal, while I went out.

She slept in her own bed last night and for the third night slept well, meaning I have as well. That said, she had to be up early and dink a pint and a half of water, before having her X-Ray this morning. I doubt I could drink that much, an hour before.

And once I’ve finished here, a walk is called for, definitely called for, it looks absolutely beautiful outside.


COMMENTS

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uneducated??

23:28 Apr 22 2008
Times Read: 1,228


‘Call me an uneducated American, but wtf is a spliff?’ was said to me.



..(Pause) ‘A Spliff? A Doob, Doobie, Joint. All smoke the same.’ I responded.


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
09:27 Apr 23 2008

just as good at killilng brain cells as most things lol





Drakontion
Drakontion
12:54 Apr 23 2008

took me a long time, years ago, to figure out what MJ was. i thought everyone was talking about some girl. haha





 

I like my dentist

14:16 Apr 22 2008
Times Read: 1,250


My gold cap had come out. So, Monday I phoned up the dentist to get the thing seen to as an emergency. Well, I tried several times. Needless to say, it was engaged, seemingly all the time. When I finally got through, I was told Mondays was a bad time to ring. No kidding. So, it was early to bed and at the suggestion of the young lady I spoke to, I got up early, to get to the dentist to make an appointment.

Once I was out, I didn’t mind as the weather was glorious.

Better still, I was given an appointment just an hour after I got home: consequently, come lunch-time, I was able to eat again. I like my dentist.

..

Then over lunch, as my folks ate, I did some weeding and later, took a lot of pleasure in taking my little Mother outside, to show her my work. Then we both sat on the bench-seat awhile, enjoying the fresh air and sun and a quiet five minutes, which turned into ten, as we chatted.


COMMENTS

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Akasha420
Akasha420
14:55 Apr 22 2008

ouch





Sinora
Sinora
20:52 Apr 22 2008

My dentist has a very low opinion of me...*sighs* I start going arrgggg before he actually does something lol





oxidisingangel
oxidisingangel
00:44 Apr 23 2008

I'm glad you got into the dentist, also sounds like a lovely time with your mother, glad she's feeling better, *smiles*.





 

"No sh*t Sherlock!"

23:13 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 1,269


Recent events with someone here taught me that people lie here just as much as in real life, but have a greater opportunity to do so.

Online relationships give the cheater a greater opportunity to do so, as I found out.


COMMENTS

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cadrewolf
cadrewolf
00:03 Apr 22 2008

lies are lies here and in life, trust yourself, good point.





CryingMist
CryingMist
04:34 Apr 22 2008

*hugs* I am sorry to ear that Angelus you deserve better.





pandorasbx65
pandorasbx65
11:25 Apr 22 2008

Its sad to say but alas that is the truth of it.





Akasha420
Akasha420
14:57 Apr 22 2008

people always like to hurt others and use them tis how life is alot





Sinora
Sinora
20:50 Apr 22 2008

Then again....it also gives those who are shy or lacking in confidence an opportunity to shine.





mysticwinds
mysticwinds
15:22 Apr 23 2008

Some people are brave behind a screen.





 

The weekend was ...

20:21 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 1,276


Mum slept well, albeit in a chair.. and as of Now, the garden looks excellent. That and yesterday, a walk and a spliff, down by the docks was good.


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..a Monday.

15:46 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 1,281


I’m tired now, with aching back. I've earned it. I've just finished in the garden

The back lawn is edged, the Forget-Me-Not are gone and I’ve been weeded, all on a pleasant day. But boy, am I shattered.



..





A whelp here, ‘Vamphyre’ intrigues me. His list of dislikes includes homos: so he doesn't like judgemental people and he doesn't like 'homo's.. ah.. now that’s ‘different.’


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Akasha420
Akasha420
14:54 Apr 22 2008

some people are fucked up hugs





 

bleary-eyed

00:14 Apr 21 2008
Times Read: 1,287


I'm bleary-eyed. though I like the NZ red Matua, the red we had with our roast chicken demolished me.

"seven pound a bottle, a cabernet Sauvignon."

I still prefer the Matua, for taste.. if not strength.


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My first three heroes were..

23:57 Apr 19 2008
Times Read: 1,301


My first three heroes were.. past tense, The Saint, Bugs Bunny and The Batman.

They later became Ghandi, Martin Luthor King and Abraham Lincoln.


COMMENTS

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Darkinfatuation428
Darkinfatuation428
00:19 Apr 20 2008

Bugs is so much better than Lincoln.





firetempest
firetempest
20:03 Apr 21 2008

haha





 

Doctor Who.. and series four.

23:21 Apr 19 2008
Times Read: 1,304


I watched, finally, the new episode of Dr Who.

totally as good as I wanted.

..

I think the bastard Welshman’s gonna kill him off at the end. (sorry it is Dr. Who!!!)

..

I'm going to this years 'Doctor Who At The Cavern. Went last year and the year before, when I came out, as a fan.


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answers, I have given.

01:36 Apr 19 2008
Times Read: 1,317


The thing is, I had a good day. first inna while. and yes, things arn't too good still and the job rejection today was a fucker, but one good day can be a holiday of the mind. well .. it was.



“ranting is good for the soul”, I was told. Yebbut, it’s embarrassing the next day.



And, don't tell me I have a good soul. I'll burst out laughing





I prefer to talk to Ladydragonrose on VR rather than YIM. Her hands are faster than Neil's old and gnarlies ..



I want a job. I want a laptop, for my room, with a dvd player.. ideally, for my 50th (too friggin soon!)


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
08:45 Apr 19 2008

But but but.....well how about a fair to good Soul ?





Akasha420
Akasha420
14:56 Apr 22 2008

lol so young





 

"why is Friday after Thursday?"

00:39 Apr 19 2008
Times Read: 1,320


I’m absolutely friggin shattered. I had said to Dad.. "why is Friday after Thursday?"

Wednesday.. night out, Thursday, voluntary work, Friday, up early to goto The Azda with me Dad.

Got home from shopping with Dad, to find job a job rejection letter waiting on the mat, for a job I’d wanted. I found it so demoralizing; I’d thought I’d done well at the interview.

I need to fill my time usefully: and, right now I don't feel satisfied. But then, I do have the operation to look forward to.

And, at least I won't be starting a new job, with my left hand in a cast, eh??


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two out of three

13:54 Apr 18 2008
Times Read: 1,338


Given a lift from the church, we took a left onto Upper Duke St.

As we headed down into town, an orange ball hung low in the sky ahead of us and I’d said to my friends, “I want that setting sun and a beach to walk on, as I smoke a joint. And I have two out of three, just no beach…”


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Sinora
Sinora
14:12 Apr 18 2008

*sad*....I want to be at the beach too lol





Sinora
Sinora
14:12 Apr 18 2008

*sad*....I want to be at the beach too lol





Vidiana
Vidiana
16:35 Apr 18 2008

Well personally, the beach isn't the important part, and the sunset is nice, but without the joint it just wouldn't be sweet would it?





 

a 'good night'

15:31 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 1,367


I had a 'good night' with friends: it was bloody marvellous, after all the stress of late. I got in at 5:00 and am in recovery, before voluntary work: got a taxi home, this time.

I wasn't up to walking the ten miles home.



..



But it had been a pleasant change and it's okay, every now and then.. though I couldn't overkill like that often anyways..


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
19:47 Apr 17 2008

Dirty stop out lmao





Drakontion
Drakontion
00:06 Apr 18 2008

fun every so often, but exhausting all the time ;)





 

stop and think..

13:52 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 1,389


I recall going in to give a cup of tea, to a fellow in a chair designed to keep his blood circulating, who could only move from his neck up.

He asked me why I looked depressed.

That made me stop and think..


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
18:26 Apr 16 2008

Yes, know what you mean, I found myself in almost that kind of situation today. x





RedQueen
RedQueen
21:06 Apr 16 2008

Pers[ective is a wonderful thing- however, it doesn't always correct whatever is bothering you in the first place- depression is after all relative





 

‘wrong was subjective’

13:18 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 1,399


I tried for an admin to listen to something that is wrong, no joy.

She just said ‘wrong was subjective’..

Yet she had said, rating wasn't dictated..

I know covens where it is and said so …



..



Now, I'm getting ready to go out.. slowly.. Mother's just woke up again.. after a very restless night.


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..my priority

00:10 Apr 16 2008
Times Read: 1,413


Have hardly slept in days, “Mother's still VERY bad” ..says he, listening to her cough. And, as for other ‘little’ worries, my Mother is my priority.

..she'll always be as I remember her: 35/40


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"Sound"

23:43 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 1,433


one might have gone nutso on the last film set

..the sound man kept saying "sound"

..

local slang, for cool.


COMMENTS

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crowgirl
crowgirl
13:54 Apr 15 2008

hehehe!





Joli
Joli
01:02 Apr 16 2008

No, I never heard that.





 

did they look cute

17:18 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 1,459


Then today, after my folks had been to the doctors, I washed the windows and paintwork, on a beautiful sunny day, to walk into the living-room, to find them both sound asleep. And boy, did they look cute!

..

Then I logged onto VR.. and within minutes, was greeting by, "Hello.. my own personal Angel."

..

Lifes pretty good innit?


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
17:26 Apr 14 2008

Yes it is....lol





Vidiana
Vidiana
20:48 Apr 14 2008

Yes, life is good when you are someone's angel, and I'm sure you are.....

I have my own, to which I never cease to inform him.

It's nice to hear when you are adored.





CryingMist
CryingMist
17:57 Apr 15 2008

takes an angel to know an angel *smiles* and she is an angel, I agree with you





 

razors cutting and EMO’s..

13:58 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 1,479


Last night I left those in the vampbox to their fun. Their ‘fun’, had involved mention of razors cutting and EMO’s.. well yes, I am emotional: particularly when I’m lied to by someone I care for, the to have those insults on top; well, I'd had enough hurt for one night. So I left VR, very upset with the jibes made by wildchild: probably just what he wanted.

And no matter what lies the fellow tells, he said what he knows he had & last night, with the nasty remarks he made, he went just too far.

I've encountered bulies before ~ and he strikes me as just that, a bully.

Now, as far as I am concerned, he and EnlightenedDarkness are a match for one another..


COMMENTS

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CryingMist
CryingMist
14:13 Apr 14 2008

*hugs* I know how it feels to be use, abuse, lied and trick by people who were "friends" before, but turn out....to be only bullies....*hugs*





Sinora
Sinora
15:21 Apr 14 2008

Take care of your eyes, seeing that much light is bound to be painful *hugs*





Drakontion
Drakontion
00:08 Apr 18 2008

there's a huge difference with being emotional and being emo...

you're definitely not emo hun.





 

Mark Speight ~ will be missed.

12:45 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 1,488


Police have confirmed that his body was found at 10am. In a statement, police said: "A formal identification is yet to take place but will be confirmed by tomorrow.

"The body has been removed from the scene and CCTV from the station has been seized as part of the ongoing investigation."

Police sources said the presenter had been found hanged.

Mr Speight discovered Miss Collins dead in the bath of their home in St John's Wood, north-west London, on Jan 3, with 60 per cent hot water burns to her body.

The couple, who met on the BBC children's show See It, Saw It and had been together for more than five years, had spent the previous evening "partying" on cocaine, sleeping pills, wine and vodka.

Police initially arrested Mr Speight on suspicion of murder and supplying Class A drugs, but he was not charged. Last week a coroner recorded a verdict of death by misadventure after noting that a "very significant" amount of cocaine was in Miss Collins's body at the time of her death.

Stu Goldsmith, Mr Speight's best friend, said last night: "There were always two sides to Mark, the warm, funny guy which he showed on TV and the sensitive guy which only his close friends knew about.

"I know Mark blamed himself for Natasha's death and it affected him considerably.

"In my opinion, the police have been a complete waste of time.

"Mark was in complete mental anguish and they should have doubled their efforts to find him."



Obituary:



Mark Speight, aged 42, was one of the most popular presenters on CBBC, the BBC's digital channel for children, and was best known as the face of its long-running art programme, SMart.

Launched in 1994, the show essentially built on the format devised for an earlier generation of children by the artist Tony Hart, and featured Speight and his co-presenter conducting a gallery tour of pictures sent in by children.

He also demonstrated how to draw cartoons and make collages in a tradition dating back to the early Blue Peter days of mutilated bottles of washing-up liquid and sticky-backed plastic.

One of his frequent items showed him making a small picture (often from coloured scraps of paper) and then a larger version on the floor, using carpet tiles or larger household items. Speight would switch between the two when a buzzer sounded, gurning the while, and swapping hats to indicate the picture he was working on.

Speight left the show abruptly at the end of February, having announced that he was unable to continue following the drug-related death of his fiancée Natasha Collins, with whom he had appeared in another BBC children's programme, See It Saw It, in 1999 Mark Speight had first achieved television fame the year before as the rubber-faced presenter of ITV's Saturday morning programme Scratchy & Co, which was nominated for a Bafta for best children's entertainment show. He went on to star in On Your Marks for the BBC and Name That Toon for Granada, which earned him a nomination as best presenter for tw In The Toon Room Speight again drew on his artistic expertise to teach children how to draw cartoons. In See It Saw It, Speight played a king who rules over the kingdom of Much Jollity-On-The-Mirth. The character was unable to make a decision and relied on the assistance of his jesters, See and Saw, one of whom was played by the actress Natasha Collins. Speight and Collins began dating, became engaged and later shared a flat in north London. She died after being badly burnt in the bath there on January 3.

Mark Warwick Fordham Speight was born on August 6 1965 at Trowbridge, Wiltshire. His father was a property consultant and his mother an art teacher. After a year at Tettenhall College, a public school near Wolverhampton, he was moved aged 12 to the nearby Regis comprehensive (now the King's C of E) school, where he was bullied daily for two years. Although he fared badly at school, and left at 16, he went on to obtain a degree in Commercial and Graphic Art.

His ambition had been to become a cartoonist, but he broke into television after hearing about auditions for the SMart programme while working on the set of another production. Working with various co-presenters, Speight became the face of the show from its launch in 1994.

In the 1990s, as well as starring in ITV's Saturday morning children's show Scratchy & Co, he appeared in a range of other programmes, hosting the game show Beat The Cyborgs (CITV), SMarteenies (on CBeebies) and, for the Discovery Kids channel, History Busters, a 13-part series of short films which won a Royal Television Society award in 2003. He was always a lively and engaging presence on screen.



(Sourced from the Telegraph, 14th April 2008)


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..just excpected what she promised, honesty.

21:36 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 1,550


But, then there was wildchild.

I had been 'seeing' EnlightenedDarkness and she adores him .. venerates him .. and yes, I am very upset.

I have my Mum and Dad to look after, I don't need her theatrics and games.

..

He even effin popped up, to tell me I was wrong.. christ, I remember the friggin question .. and her flirting with him in the friggin history.


COMMENTS

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CryingMist
CryingMist
00:09 Apr 14 2008

I am sorry you were show such disrespect, privacy seems to be lacking .... some people don't know what private means they are just to childish to stay out of it or to be quiet about other's private life. I am sorry you were treated with such disrespect.





Sinora
Sinora
08:57 Apr 14 2008

You are worth more...much more x





 

VR relationships.

21:11 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 1,562


..first there was what I percieved as mtsoul's duplicity, now the Lady I like here jumps to the defence of someone, who saw fit to question my sexuality in the vampbox.. and she thinks that's okay.. 'coz you don't exactly hide it.. well true, nor do I want it bandied about by those I don't talk to.. or, have my friend stand by and watch.


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GrieviousDemon
GrieviousDemon
14:17 Apr 14 2008

You know maybe cause she happens to be friends with both poeple she'd rather not get involved. Guess not cause to many here her feelings dont matter just those that betray her by turning on her for not defending a friend. Honestly, she is allowed to chose who she is friends with. You all should respect her enough and accept her desicion not to get involved, but none of you see it this way. To you all your feeling are more important than her friendship and the way she's been treated latey I wouldnt be suprised if she just stays away from VR in general.





Akasha420
Akasha420
14:59 Apr 22 2008

I love you for who you are love your personality





 

The News as I saw it ..Part 2

18:34 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 1,566


Mark Speit is dead. He was found in a secluded part of Paddington Station.

For fourteen years he was one of the creative genius presenting shows like SMart.

Now he is gone.

The fellow was missing over a week, after finding his ladyfriend dead in the bath, after they'd been partying.

..

Hopefully now he has found the peace he has sought.


COMMENTS

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crowgirl
crowgirl
23:04 Apr 13 2008

I hope he is at peace. I grew up with this guy on my t.v. He taught me how to draw, how to paint, every day after school. I'll miss him.





 

The News, as I saw it ...part 1

18:21 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 1,576


Food riots in Haiti and Darur starving, in a ccountry rich in resources.. meanwhile, the West talks of recession: in a system based on continual gowth, which is not possible.


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
18:24 Apr 13 2008

Did'nt you know that anything is possible if a politicain tells us it is ? *wry grin*





theo
theo
21:18 Apr 13 2008

as system of a down says



we are living a fascist society





 

I'm wanted..

17:32 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 1,577


Ah, "dinners on the table!"

..

I like her saying that. (She said it!! ~ I'm wanted!!)


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..chores to do.

16:35 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 1,578


..little Mother is beter than she was, though the coughing leaves her so small and weak looking. Saying that, she's just told me, quite breathlesssly, there's wine with 'tea'.. the evening meal: and I have a table to set.



**Grins**



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..your value-base.

16:00 Apr 13 2008
Times Read: 1,579


I’d just been watching ‘Flog-It’, where people bring in stuff, which is valued, then probably sold at auction. While I watched the show it occurred to me as strange what we place value on. First up was memorabilia, medals and photo’s associated with a soldier from the First World War. It had sold for as little as £130

Then I saw a wonderful piece of history: a gold-guinea scale, an apparatus intended to tell the difference between fake gold guinea’s, or shaven gold guinea’s, which were prevalent then in the 1800’s. It went for £90. Yet, when a piece of China, like Troika can go for as much as £900 would has to wonder what some sort of weird value base we have, is all I can say. That said, I was brought up amongst antiques and their history, as its one of my Fathers passions: one that I still follow.

I suppose that talking of antiques and suchlike brings me to another topic of mine, I’ve been speaking of recently – i.e.: state benefit.

For the third time, during my periods of unemployment, I’ve learnt that I’m entitled claim Incapacity Benefit. The first time, the manic depression, or for those of a fashionable nature, bi-polar. The second one I’d been thinking of was the Raynards, which ‘they’ did use once, to get me a job. Yet, call it that old-fashioned working-class work ethic, as I might, (or not;) but, when I see folks like mine, who work and save hard to have the few luxuries they have … I find it irritating beyond belief, that there is a lifestyle choice, based on them claiming Incapacity Benefit. I cannot understand those people, unlike me, who take from the state what they’re not entitled to. I mean, when you’re reliant on such aid, you stop trying.

I don’t relish our compensation culture, or built-in obsolescence, or even our celebrity culture … or, a system, which allows one to take, without effort: all of which suggests to me, this isn’t my time.


COMMENTS

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It’s strange what a lack of sleep can do.

14:28 Apr 11 2008
Times Read: 1,605


It’s strange what a lack of sleep can do. Last night, on the way home from voluntary work after a really busy night, I was so tired I just nearly lost it. There was a fellow in the same compartment as me and he was on the phone to his ladyfriend, for a long time, which isn’t too bad. I mean, it’s one thing to hear one side of someone’s life, on a train journey, so you know everything of their life, even when you don’t want to know. But, this fellow had the volume up, so I could hear every word that she said. He was well-spoken, so was she and he was sat just a few feet from a sleep-deprived irritated me. Just as I got off, I didn’t do as I wanted, yet did as I had. I leant over the fellows should and said as loud as I could, without shouting, “Goodbye.”

Right now, I’ve just got in from signing-on, with the dole. I’ve been quite lucky over this New Deal Advisor I’ve got. Grant you, I’d not known her, nor wanted to explain my past yet again. I’d been reticent to open up at first, yet when I had, learnt that she was exceptionally helpful: and has encouraged me of late, with making application and encouraging me to do so. But to day she left me flustered as today I was offered ‘Incapacity Benefit’. Grant you, twenty years ago I ‘had’ manic depression and could’ve; then my Raynards meant I could’ve gone on it; and I have knocked it back on both occasions. Yet, today it was suggested ‘it might be useful’, thinking of the operation that’s due… Oh, I don’t know.

I went into the chemists awhile ago, to get pads, which amused me. What’s the puzzle in a guy getting pads for the woman in his left? I’ve been doing it since Debbie, my first ex-fiancée and now I get them for my Mum. Yet, from the girl in the dole onwards, people seem to think it’s strange.. alright ‘different’, that I might be comfortable with doing so. I mean, you just do as you, don’t you?





COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
14:37 Apr 11 2008

*nods*





Vidiana
Vidiana
15:05 Apr 11 2008

A very good entry. The part about the gent on the phone just cracks me up!





Drakontion
Drakontion
23:17 Apr 11 2008

Lol... you're a rare man =) none of the ones I know would be comfortable in buying pads for the women in their life...





 

justa ..

00:16 Apr 11 2008
Times Read: 1,619


I'm in the main title sequence of a movie called ‘Expirydate’ and credited as 'the french monk.' I’m not famous.. as someone intimated, justa french monk.. now a special effects guy.


COMMENTS

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hellseeker
hellseeker
00:43 Apr 11 2008

:)





Sinora
Sinora
12:24 Apr 11 2008

So that's why you have two names....to keep the paps guessing lol





 

"I hope it doesn't rain!"

16:47 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,627


I'm opening the church tonight .. and 'no' I'm not religious .. we just use their kitchen, to cook on a Thursday.. so I can earn my headache.


COMMENTS

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Vidiana
Vidiana
18:01 Apr 10 2008

well that headache is well deserved, hehehehe.

have fun!





Sinora
Sinora
18:57 Apr 10 2008

Does Neil know you can cook ?





Vidiana
Vidiana
21:25 Apr 16 2008

Well, I guess he does now.





 

a tie, or not..

14:26 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 1,634


Just got back from an interview, which I think went well. Pity was, the deluge on my return walk home, that soaked me and one my best suits. Well, that and the endless debate I had with myself,as to wear a tie, or not.. 'me Mum', is watching an afternoon movie, it's just the nights that are bed, you know.. lying down set off the coughing. So no-one sleeps.


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
15:16 Apr 10 2008

Good luck with the job x





mysticwinds
mysticwinds
00:28 Apr 12 2008

I will pray that you get the job. You so deserve it.





 

'A present, for a Lady.'

23:13 Apr 09 2008
Times Read: 1,648


For ever such a long-time, I’ve been trying to get a copy copied, in such a fasion that it could be viewed by the person I’d intended it for. After a few years and several attempts: I got it right. She’s pleased .. and, I’m delighted.


COMMENTS

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apple pie and ice-cream

14:33 Apr 09 2008
Times Read: 1,661


The sills have been wiped down, the meds picked up for my Mum: and she and Dad are off to Liverpool and the Women’s Royal, for her check up.

She must be feeling okay, she's keeping a hospital appt.

Anyway, has abated and I’m going to sit and much apple pie and ice-cream and watch the clouds scud across the sky. Interview tomorrow and early night tonight.

Meanwhile, I'm being as whimiscal as someone can be when you ice-cream is outside and taking ages to defrost enough to eat.


COMMENTS

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good to read

23:50 Apr 08 2008
Times Read: 1,679


***** ******: I"m so happy

***** ******: lol

Neil Kendrick: good to read

Neil Kendrick: I'll be quizzing you on that emotion tomorrow.

Neil Kendrick: remember this feeling.


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
11:02 Apr 09 2008

Who is Neil Kendrick ?...been meaning to ask you for ages lol





hellseeker
hellseeker
00:43 Apr 11 2008

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LMAO!!





 

Nan kuro nai sa

16:36 Apr 08 2008
Times Read: 1,694


The bodies old.. operations to look forward to.. my Mum is 'okay' ..it's a wonderful sunny day .. and I have some good green.

Yet, the thing is.. most of the time.. I'm seventeen, always will be .. after all, how many my ages can get their legs round their neck and sit in the full lotus for hours on end..


COMMENTS

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ladygoddessaries
ladygoddessaries
18:11 Apr 08 2008

*giggles* Wouldnt mind seeing that.





Sinora
Sinora
19:36 Apr 08 2008

Yea right lol





mysticwinds
mysticwinds
23:31 Apr 09 2008

Glad you Mum is doing better.



I would love to see a pic of that!!!





 

"Ow!"

15:53 Apr 08 2008
Times Read: 1,697


It pleases me when Dad falls asleep. He has two speeds.. full speed, stop and 'flick my ear' .. just did so, saying "I got nothing to do"


COMMENTS

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Vidiana
Vidiana
19:20 Apr 08 2008

Hahaha, maybe he's right! ^.^





 

it was 180 yesterday

01:04 Apr 07 2008
Times Read: 1,726


...your friends list is a funny thing. 179 and I talk with about ten.. and anyway.. it was 180 yesterday.. and I still only talk with about twenty.


COMMENTS

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CryingMist
CryingMist
06:45 Apr 07 2008

I am on 215...and talk about to 50 ....





Sinora
Sinora
07:14 Apr 07 2008

Shyness is a curse lol





Drakontion
Drakontion
10:00 Apr 07 2008

I don't mind people adding me to their friends list... but if they haven't talked to me I won't add them back. Weird how people just add everyone.





hellseeker
hellseeker
15:13 Apr 07 2008

i'm on 65 lol I only talk 2 like 5 lol





 

blonde and blue-eyed

00:34 Apr 07 2008
Times Read: 1,729


Neil Kendrick: blonde

Neil Kendrick: blue-eyed

Neil Kendrick: with cheeks to tweek

***** *******: You dont think I'm cute?

Neil Kendrick: that was me

Neil Kendrick: almost terminal case


COMMENTS

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"And my saxaphone"

23:48 Apr 06 2008
Times Read: 1,732


***** ******: And my saxophone

Neil Kendrick: sexa a phone

Neil Kendrick: sexy phone

***** ******: phone sex?

Neil Kendrick: see>

Neil Kendrick: you geddit.

Neil Kendrick: got it..

Neil Kendrick: don't want it

Neil Kendrick: through it back


COMMENTS

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..etc.

23:41 Apr 06 2008
Times Read: 1,734


Neil Kendrick: sounds good, hearing my Dad snore

***** ******: Lol, thats good?

Neil Kendrick: too right

Neil Kendrick: a) he's alive

Neil Kendrick: b) he deserves a good night's sleep afer all his running around.

Neil Kendrick: and Mum is 'reading her book'


COMMENTS

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‘It Could be Magic.’

14:36 Apr 06 2008
Times Read: 1,750


After waiting nearly five hours for news of my Mum, I rang the hospital she’d been taken to. “I want to ask about my Mum…” the fellow had looked through some records then put me through to the short-stay ward. The phone rang and I explained myself again, and then heard my Dad being directed towards a nearby phone.

“She’s been on all sorts of nebulizers and everything and everything…” Then, at 4:30 he arrived home. It turns out then when he left at 4:00 a.m. after they’d decided she had to stay over, as the doctor she needed to see was still in surgery. Well, it turns out that when Dad got to the car it was covered in ice.

When he arrived home, he was a tad annoyed I’d been on the p.c. so late. Me? I was very annoyed, that he’d not thought to phone…

“She hasn’t seen the consultant yet and I’m going to take her some bedthings and stuff…” He had told me when I got up to make a drink and put my thoughts together. Then I returned to bed, still feeling very tired. I awoke the second time, to learn that my Father had done all the washing and was just finishing off the ironing. Well, Dad toddles off with a night-bag, with all her things in it. Then as I had contemplated hitting the bath, I hear the fellows on the radio talking about Doctor Who. Well, I then phone up, tell the ‘nice old fella’ on the line when the repeat will be on, then I asked for something to be played for my Mum and I had to go slowly; and then I realised I had spoken to him awhile back. Turns out the fella said it was over 12 months ago.

He’s just recently got out himself, after a serious accident on his mobility scooter.

Quietly spoken, the fellow had been good conversationalist and when I put the phone down, I’d been grinning goodstyle. Then just as I sat down to write this, the phone rang again. “Is that Brian, or Neil…?” My Mum: “You can get tell Dad he can come pick me up whenever he’s ready,” she had continued. The next record played on the radio had been, ‘It Could be Magic.’ Then just before one and the Miller & Styles show ending, they gave my Mum’s dedication and played, ‘All you Need Is Love.’


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
21:04 Apr 06 2008

I'm pleased she's back home x





CryingMist
CryingMist
21:12 Apr 06 2008

*smiles hugs*





hellseeker
hellseeker
15:12 Apr 07 2008

i'm so glad ur mom is now ok:)





RedQueen
RedQueen
08:32 Apr 08 2008

Glad to hear your mum is doing better, honey-





 

..waiting to hear how my Mum is.

23:34 Apr 05 2008
Times Read: 1,772


I’ve been wandering round the house, having everything warm for my Dad, when he gets back from hospital. My Mum’s in there.

Earlier on I’d heard her coughing, so I went on through to her room and she hadn’t been good at all. There’s little worse in life than watching someone having an asthma attack. As it was, I used a cold compress on her neck and spoke to her gently and was able to help talk her toward relaxation. All the while my Father was getting anxious, a dutiful loving husband, annoyed that he couldn’t hear the phone, as he dialled the surgeries out of office number. So I took over and did so.

The young paramedic Steve took charge quickly, using oxygen and enquiring about any recent medication. She has had some new medication, for her back and a side-effect is bad breathing. From what I heard after Doctor Who, that she had.

After Steve had her comfortable to move, the ambulance, which had arrived several minutes later, took her to hospital, due to the asthma attack. She's 80 odd and I'm quietly freaking inside, all on my own. And as the evening wore on, I closed the curtains and waited, to hear how she was.


COMMENTS

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EnlightenedxDarkness
EnlightenedxDarkness
23:38 Apr 05 2008

Your all in my thoughts.....hang in there and know that I'm always here for you as much as I can be. I hope she is back to tip top shape and back home to you very soon. *hugs*





Sinora
Sinora
01:11 Apr 06 2008

Yes, I know what that's like *hugs*





ladygoddessaries
ladygoddessaries
01:28 Apr 06 2008

Hopefully everything will be alright Neil.. my most positive thoughts shall be with you and your family.





CelestiaNocturne
CelestiaNocturne
02:33 Apr 06 2008

Neil I hope all works out for you; I'm sending positive energy from across the ocean lol. ;)





Joli
Joli
09:47 Apr 06 2008

Let us know when you can.





CryingMist
CryingMist
19:01 Apr 06 2008

*hugs* you are in my heart, taughs and prayers, sending you positive energy hun...big kiss and hugs





Minx
Minx
20:40 Apr 06 2008

Thinking of you Neil!!





Keep in touch when you can okay



*hugs*





 

..the last episode of ‘Torchwood’

15:48 Apr 05 2008
Times Read: 1,785


The folks are home to watch the Grand National on tv. It’s still sunny here; but, there was a downpour in Aintree, so the going is dubious thus far. The kitchen is as clean as a clean thing gets and I’ve seen the last episode of ‘Torchwood’ and the climactic fight in ‘Jason Versus Freddy.’

I even spent ages, working in pixel, on the current Radio Times cover, for my Profile.

I’ve done my stretches and my deep breathing outside: now, I’m looking forward to the first episode of the fourth season of this new incarnation of ‘Doctor Who.’


COMMENTS

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Why do people try to push you into arguing?

00:12 Apr 05 2008
Times Read: 1,809


Why do people try to push you into arguing?

I am feeling much better today .. though someone tried to get argumentative just now on YIM and headaches at the end of the day, I just don't need.


COMMENTS

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EnlightenedxDarkness
EnlightenedxDarkness
00:15 Apr 05 2008

I wasn't getting argumentative......just asking a simple question that you couldn't seem to give me a straight answer to, that's all.





CryingMist
CryingMist
00:17 Apr 05 2008

*hugs Angelus* I know the feeling....





Oceane
Oceane
00:21 Apr 05 2008

send them to me you know I am a real bitch and will kick their ass with my steel toe boots!!! so send send send....so I can teach them their place, under my feet!





EnlightenedxDarkness
EnlightenedxDarkness
00:30 Apr 05 2008

You think my place is under your feet Oceane? Keep dreaming...





Angelus
Angelus
16:56 Apr 05 2008

"Oh 'Good grief!'" .. well, I didn't expect that.





Oceane
Oceane
18:57 Apr 05 2008

your comment shows that is what you desire...then come on down...then again you are not worth my energy and time...so move on kid. I don't do amateurs. Only pro.





 

..writing does.

00:18 Apr 04 2008
Times Read: 1,833


I have a thing about tenses, they don't like me. **Grins**



Past.. ? blech.. future .. you got to be kidding. Present .. aw c'mon !?!



I went from poetry, to longer stories .. then to short. I like getting an idea across.. ideally with a Hammer style twist.



Yet, when the Muse flows.. perfect doesn't do.. writing does.


COMMENTS

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CelestiaNocturne
CelestiaNocturne
01:48 Apr 04 2008

How true!





Vidiana
Vidiana
17:19 Apr 04 2008

Bravo! I couldn't have said it better myself :D

Perfectly put.





Sinora
Sinora
18:56 Apr 04 2008

A good back rub gets rid of tenses...*winks*





 

I wonder if I should feel flattered?

23:19 Apr 03 2008
Times Read: 1,845


evilkitty left me a 1.. and has me blocked so I can't reply.

I don't know her.

I wonder if I should feel flattered?


COMMENTS

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Vidiana
Vidiana
14:59 Apr 07 2008

Lmao!!!! That is the funniest thing I have heard all day.

Priceless.





 

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes

23:13 Apr 03 2008
Times Read: 1,847


Trawling through the forum, I got to where the cat does it’s business, which is where I copy ‘n pasted my politely phrased thoughts about Slaveskeep and those who are the reason why there have been people leaving, who still feels bullied here.

..

Strangely, my thread was gone.


COMMENTS

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Well, "it was worth it."

15:08 Apr 03 2008
Times Read: 1,855


Just before I left home, my parents came back in. They’d been to the shops. Considering how my Mum’s been of later with her back, I was ever-so pleased.

“How did you do?” I’d asked.

“Fine,” she’d replied, with a weary, satisfied smile.

That’d been the kickstart to my day: That and generous lady, with kind comments about my wring on VR. ‘Remedy’ … definitely mine.

Anyways, I was up then out, pleased for the fresh air and the sun.

By the time the few clouds moved overhead, I was on the station platform writing, with the sounds of birds just behind me.

On the way to the station, two cars passed with the drivers waving; I passed the time of day with two other people; and an older lady out with her husband stopped me by the footbridge to the station just to say ‘Hello’ and wish me well.

Headcold, or not, as I’d sat writing, listening to the Blue-tit, I thought to myself, “What a good start to the day.”

I hadn’t even minded too much, that my train had been delayed … Besides, the weather was quite good … so, getting annoyed on the way to the station by a passing motorist having a mobile stuck to their right ear, had been pointless.

And, that’s half the problem sometimes I guess. I get angry with the bankers who manipulated the reasons that brought about the First World War; and by something that’s passing by like that motorist. Yet, when all is said and done, I can’t change those things.

It was on the homeward journey that events took an awkward turn. Across the track from me, two girls sat, the one to the right quite pretty – her hands demurely in her lap. The other, with darker skin, whiter teeth, with definitively pronounced cheekbones had a mouth that was as certainly as big as the one running beneath The Mersey. Everything she did was designed to irritate; drawing the attention, she so obviously craved.

I noted this, because the two girls were aged about fifteen and dressed as Goth’s … and that one, had been shouting insults across the track goodstyle.

As I began to relax into my journey home, the young fellow to my left got out his mobile phone to play. So, I got my chocolates out, revels – and, I proceeded to eat the chocolate treats slowly, methodically, one by one.

Even when he set the phone away and sat back, arms crossed … I was merciless and took another piece of chocolate.

Then as the train neared my station, I recalled the piece I’d written, ‘Is it worth it?’

Well, “it was worth it” …


COMMENTS

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Vidiana
Vidiana
20:40 Apr 03 2008

A well accounted day. I love it!

Perhaps this will inspire me to scrawl out a few lines of poetry, thank you for being my muse today =D





RedQueen
RedQueen
22:17 Apr 04 2008

I need to have one of those days- I think the peace of mind that you conveyed in your writing sounds absolutely lovely...



even for a Yank like me...lol





 

How sad.

23:38 Apr 01 2008
Times Read: 1,880


I’ve just seen our local news and was fascinated to see the picture that I’ve heard of.

It was painted by an Indian lady, in what I see as an Indian style, with local celebrities portrayed in a similar manner as the album cover to ‘Yellow Submarine.’

When asked why she’d included a Sophie someone, the artist said that everyone’s Idea of culture and the inclusion of a footballers wife was part of that.

..

How sad.


COMMENTS

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..an she said, in the Vampbox

18:35 Apr 01 2008
Times Read: 1,915


************: I don't really think Coven issues need to be in the vampbox. It will only cause problems.



..



..a pity ppl didn't feel like that about bringing SK's drama's to VR


COMMENTS

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CountessMoon
CountessMoon
18:51 Apr 01 2008

You must know something I don't since I haven't heard of any drama from SK bring brought over here.








Angelus
Angelus
23:37 Apr 01 2008

..I do. That's the point, I do.





 

Slaveskeep

15:17 Apr 01 2008
Times Read: 1,938


Too often have I said that what happens in Slaveskeep should stay in slaveskeep. there's too much drama being played out here as it is.. and yet again I hear it happening..



a) two different sites



b) if they really knew what it was like to 'play the games' ~ they wouldn't be acting as 'they' do in slaveskeep.

It shows a complete lack of respect.



..just seems, there are those who bring Sk here.. it doesn't belong here.


COMMENTS

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BloodxXxOverDose
BloodxXxOverDose
16:13 Apr 01 2008

very true there needs to be some kind of order and common respect.





mysticwinds
mysticwinds
18:19 Apr 01 2008

Right on!!!





ladygoddessaries
ladygoddessaries
18:54 Apr 01 2008

I would have to agree.





Oceane
Oceane
19:51 Apr 05 2008

I agree that's why I had kept my id on sk secret for so long but now will reveal since I am deleting my sk account this after noon.








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