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just sitting here drinking coffee.
not sure what to do right now
so I'm sitting here leveling my profile and listening to the tv in the background
I hardly get to watch tv anymore these days since my aunt now sleeps in the living room
and has what she want to watch on so I watch what I want on my laptop or playstation4
or I just listen to music to soothe the voices in my head.

I never thought for a second I would survive my mom's passing
yeah it did hurt me deep inside sitting there watching as her heart
stopped beating I miss her so much it kills me inside yeah I live with her twin sister so it's like I still have my mom here but it's not the same though.
my mom was my very first friend growing up with only her in my life cause my dad never was the father type he was always to busy with the new family he never wanted to be around me so I grew up thinking he didn't really love me as my mom did she raised me on her own with no help from my dad he didn't really come back into my life until I was in my late 20s that is when he told me he had cancer but I didn't want to believe it
but when he passed away that is when it hit hard that he really did have lung cancer yeah I miss him but not like I miss my mom.

went to my aunts for thanksgiving dinner
it was so good she outdid herself
I'm still full ugh.

I have been sleeping most of the day for some reason I just can't seem to keep my eyes open for too long which really sucks big time cause I had stuff to do around the apt even my aunt slept all day like me she gets so very mad cause we slept as we did.

woke up with a stuffy nose this morning ugh happens every morning never ends with me ugh what can I do about it but blow my nose every 5 seconds don't even know why it's happening to me every morning.
so right I'm sitting here in my cold room drinking coffee and leveling my profile
my cousins coming back from Florida for thanksgiving yay gonna be an awesome day
(not!)

I went to the store with my aunt's one day and there was this one guy in the same aisle as us and he came to close to running into me with his damn cart I was like excuse me he just stuck his nose up t me and just kept walking I was like whatever dude that was so bullshit though ugh i hate people like that

woke up early
don't know why but I did
just wish I could sleep through the night
guess its the stuff that goes through my
head that stops me from getting any rest

the meeting went well today
we talked about different things
that has to do with what's going on with me
and my moods.
I'm so happy that I'm getting the help that I so needed
I want things to get better before I move out of Michigan
I want to be different.

today will be a good day I can feel it even though I feel really tired I been feeling this way for a while now but I need to snap out of it cause I got a meeting with my therapist today at 11 am online and I can't wait.

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
14:32 Nov 19 2020

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AngelofDreams
14:54 Nov 19 2020

thank you LORDMOGY

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Feel free to take it

My electricity went out at about noon and just at 7:28 pm it came back on
so I went all day without being online which really sucked big time

well I'm about to go clean which I don't feel like
but I have to just to help my aunt a little

good morning everyone