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Today has been crazy. I have been studying my butt off only to only earn a 74 on my exam. I will never get into Nursing school with grades liek that. I am so frustrated its unbelieveable. I mean I have stayed to 12-1 every night trying to learn the material and yet I still bombed. May be I need to study differently or something. I know I am gonna get a head this weekend. I plan on studying alot and reading till I learn things. I mean it wasn't the terminology that was so bad it was remebering what each Neuron does and things of that nature. I mean you would think I would know it considering the fact that I am also taking A & P. But I guess its a bit different in Psychology class. I just don't understand why it has to be so hard but I guess if it was easy everyone would do it. But I mean I am pretty good at science so you would think I would be able to do good. All I know is i am gonna work hard to know the stuff for my Biology class so I can score higher in there. I can't believe I only made a 74. I mean its a C so I passed but still its only on 2.4 and I need at least a 4.0 to be excepted into the R.N. program. I don't know I might have to become a L.V.N. before I go to the R.N. thing depending on wether or not I can get in in one of the programs. I just want to scream though cause its only the first week and already I am so stressed out that my brain hurts. I never can seem to be relaxed while I am in school. It never fails I get stressed out and nearly go crazy. But I can do it. I know I can. Especially with my sister and mom's help. they said they would help me with my homework. Which really doesn't count towards anything. But it helps to remember information that is really important. My memory has become really bad which is werid cause it used to be so good. I mean I am only 19 I should have enough memory left to be good but who knows may be its the add stress of losing Doug that is causing it. I miss him. I haven't been thinking about him as much since I have been so busy. the only time I really think about him is when things get quiet and I am alone. I kinda feel like I am neglecting him cause I don't think about him as much but I mean i do still think about him but if I did all the time I would end up losing my sanity. Its hard enough to keep sane in this house hold. With the old people fighting all the time and mom's complaining about work and Nikki complaining about Derek. I swear this house is full of negative energy. In school though I can feel the positive energy. And it helps in the learning of things. But I need a stress reliever. Maybe tomorrow I will just relax all day. But I am gonna go now cause i am gettting tired bye.



Love always and forever

Angelique