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Tonight, as I lay in the darkness my mind seems to wonder and all of my thoughts lead back to you.
How could this be? How can I live knowing that your gone? How do you except me to just go on as if everything is normal?
I miss you more and more each day, my heart feels as if it is ripped in half and both halves are struggling to be whole but they crumble under the weight of a pressure untold. I cannot seem to control my emotions, I cannot bring myself to look in the mirror, all I see is you and I dare not breath in to deep for fear of suffocation. My arms were out stretch to you waiting and wanting ever so deeply just to be held close to you once more. If only I could hear your voice again, and see your face, it is too hard to bring myself to think of the good times because I know they are only a memory and I cannot make any more of them now. I wish only to call you and tell you how badly this hurts and to allow you to take all of my pain away. I want nothing more than to have you here again, but I know that will never happen, my body seems to twist and turn as I think of you and I cry out at night wanting you to console me but I know it is only a wish that will remain unfulfilled. I love you more than words can show, you told me to be strong, but for how long do I have to keep on this mask? For how long do I have to suffer in silence because NO ONE understands? How much longer do I have to live with this daily agony? I miss you so much more than all of these words, because in the end that is all they are.... just words in a never ending sea of darkness.