Ive been off this site for the better part of a month. Not really by choice. Come back and I have soooooo many rates to return. Thank you all. It genuinely cheered me up. They are just rates but they actually did kinda make my night.
Needed a mental break. I'm currently waiting to bury a 5th loved one this year (2nd one fighting cancer). Dreamt my dad died all over again (it's only been 4 months since losing him and me trying to be there for my best friend of 15 years as she loses her mom to the same cancer is making me relive my hell over but it's not her fault and I am doing my best.) On top of being diagnosed with an incurable condition myself that can cause paralysis. Yayyy! So I delved into my work as a teacher, my photography and (attempted) writing my books. Mental exhaustion galore.
Eh. Such is life right? Hey maybe next time will be a good journal?
Am I able to make multiple profiles? I would like to share my photography that way if possible to stay organized or would it be easy to share them here in the journal? (Yes I am looking into the mentorship I'm just currently tired.)
Its been just over 4 months since losing my dad. He was only 48, drs refused him chemo for his cancer saying covid was more important and that his cancer wasn't "aggressive" yet 5 weeks his cancer exploded into the rest of his body he gets the "oh your cancer is aggressive! You have about 2 weeks left." From the dr he was told it was not aggressive and stopped his chemo.
Ok sorry random vent. But I am beyond angry. I lost the man who raised me to be obsessed with horror, the man who introduced me to all of this. For the passion for history, folklore, dark art. Hell he and my uncle convinced me we shared a home with a grumpy old witch in the basement when I was 4. I feel like my world is upside down and I can't breathe. Everyone thinks I should be better by now, moved on with my life, hell even my step family makes me feel that way, like they knew him better. Even told me to stop sharing his photos online. :/
Pretty dumb to vent in my first journal but this man, though he disliked taking credit, raised me to be the horror loving, dark writer, witch I am today. Kinda hoping someone here will relate as I have no one my life who gets it. My fiance does his best but both his parents beat cancer. I am the last of my family line here. The amount of alone I feel is immense. Well here I am.
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