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I´ve called all the shelters and local vets, and posted ads everywhere. I´m not giving up on him...

My operation will be towards the middle of January.

I need my kitsy back...

Greebo, one of my cats, has gone missing...We think he might have fallen out of the balcony.It´s second floor, so he wouldn´t have hurt himself much, but we don´t really know, as he´s quite heavy (6 kilos) Our guess is he might have gotten hurt, and someone might have taken him before we realised, so we´ve rung all the vets, all the animal shelters...He is such a sweetie, what am I going to do without him?? I have to go to the stupid neurosurgeon tomorrow, and all I want to do is try and find my Greebo. We´ve been looking for him all over the place, we´ve put up signs. That´s been our day today...

It´s 3:59 a.m., and I can´t lay down for the pain...I am a painball. I am a bit better sitting up, which is why I´m at the computer. I hope the doctor hurries up and gives me a shot.OUCH!

It feels as if my bolts have moved a bit to the left, and this pain is totally new and different from the usual one.There´s a bump at the left of my spine, and it feels like a bolt. Today I haven´t done anything strenuous, but the other day, when we cleared the spare room, I felt something move. But it´s only horrible today...

Monday, I see the neurosurgeon to find out when I get my op. I´m frightened, really, as the scar has been cut too many times, and it´s angry and red and it pulls. And now again...

Still, I suppose there´s worse things. I must soldier on, stiff upper lip and all that...But it hurts!!!!

...because I cracked up! Matt opened the door pretending to be panicky, told them I was unconscious, they walk in the room, and I just couldn´t lay still, and I ended up laughing. DAMN. Plus, when I tried to take the make-up off, it wouldn´t come off properly and now I have a bright red forehead...Sigh.

No, not really, but we´re going to play a trick on a new mormon missionary who´s coming to visit us later with Jamie.We are all in it, except for the newbie.Heheheh.

First, Jamie is going to tell the new girl that I´m very nice , but it´s too bad about my "drink and drug problem"-totally false, but there you go...

Then, I´m going to use my special FX make up kit to give myself a massive gash on my forehead, and when they come, Matt is going to act all panicky, and I´m going to pretend to be unconscious. Jamie doesn´t actually know about this part, so we might fool her as well...Oh , I hope!!

So, that´s a nice welcome we´re giving the poor creature. I´m really looking forward to it, I just hope I can pull it off without cracking up...

I only slept about 3 hours last night, and I had really bad nightmares, the kind that make me anxious all day long, and they even make me cry...I dreamt (again) that I got THE call from my mother´s hospital to tell me she had died. I know it´s just a bad dream, but my body reacts to them physically, my heart beats faster, and I get a knot in my throat just the same. Hopefully one day they will stop, but I don´t really think so. I can´t shake the horrible feeling...