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Right now my mind is very clouded, I have a lot running through my brain, I'll have to do a bit of thinking before I write any more on the subject but I will be writing my opinion. I won't go into anymore details at this time so this journal entry is kind of stupid. Good night VR

Well,it's been a short while since I wrote in my journal on VR. Since the last journal entry I was diagnosed with sciatica nerve pain in my left hip plus lumbago, then I had to go back to the emergency room and was told I had a stomach bug and colitis,it just seems like my health is going straight down hill, I've been in worse shape before so I just gotta keep going. I've been going through a lot of things mentally and emotionally besides physically, it's been three years since my nephew died and I miss him dearly, I find myself grieving constantly, I've been thinking of putting myself back in the mental hospital but I just don't know...... Anna-leea Reddoch/Rider, I've written about her numerous times but maybe this is the last time I write about her,maybe....... I see her posts every now and again on Snapchat, she's still beautiful as ever. Part of me wants to comment on her posts but I've refrained from doing so and kept my composure, I'm happy for her and I'm glad she's enjoying life. I don't know if I'm enjoying my life,I just try to live day by day and whatever happens happens. I will always love and want Anna-leea, I've been single for 15 years because of her and I guess I'll be single until I die,don't get me wrong I've been on numerous dating sites but none of the women appeal to me, none of them are as beautiful as her, I would bust through the gates of hell and burn heaven to the ground for her, I would sit on death row for her, she's worth it. Maybe I'm out of my mind for her but fuck it, I can't and I won't denie my love for her. Well, not sure of what else to say so I'll end it here. Good night VR,maybe tomorrow will be better,maybe......