Sleep training my ass22:44 Sep 04 2008
Times Read: 1,042
You know, I really don't get this whole sleep training scheme for babies.
There are SO many sites promoting this shit, teaching you step by step how to make your baby become a self soother, sleep alone in his little crib or even in his own room, sleep through the night, and so on without needing your presence.
And they start with it as early as 3-6 months!!!
Come ON!
Ryan has been sleeping with me since he was 1 week old after several failed attempts of trying to "get him used to" his own crib. I remember those sleepless nights that he would just cry and refuse to sleep alone, yet Yendor insisted that we had to teach him independence after having read so on several sites... (As a new parent, you have absolutely no idea what you're doing, you're so inexperienced that you're likely to try anything... That's why I don't blame myself for the mistakes we made)... Anyway, me and Yendor used to stay up most nights, struggling to make him sleep... Even during the days. Ryan ended up not sleeping much those first couple of days...
Then the first night I took him to bed with me after being advised to do so by my mother, like magic he suddenly slept peacefully through the night waking up about three times every three hours to nurse.
And it's been one of the most incredible, wonderful, loving experiences of my life having Ryan sleeping close to me. Giving him love and security even during night time hours gives me a sense of comfort as well... I don't know how some mothers do it, leaving their babies to sleep alone... Don't you worry sick about your baby when you can't see him or her???
So anyway... Out of curiosity I just googled for information about infant sleep at 10 months, basically it said that they normally sleep around 11-14 hours at night and have two naps during the day of 1-2 hours each... Basically describing Ryan's sleep pattern although it varies a lot for him... He usually doesn't sleep more than 9 hours at the most at night, sometimes even 8... But then he makes up for it by having a 3 hour nap instead of a 2 hour one sometime during the day. He's never been much of a sleeper, just like his daddy.
So anyway, on the same site I come across this sleep training bullshit again which just pissed me off... And that's why I'm writing this journal entry...
Apparently if your baby is not a self soother and can't put himself back to sleep at this age, it's about time to start now... Because a "good sleeper" is a baby who doesn't need you to go back to sleep, no, just replace your presence with a damn teddy bear.
I'm not judging mothers who do this, I'm just saying it's not for me.
But it's the same in everything, in every area it's like babies are being pushed to independence ASAP when in fact studies have clearly shown that it is more beneficial for babies to be allowed dependence in the early years... It will make them MORE independent and confident later on. I truly believe that. I will always encourage but never force my child to do something he's not ready to do, and he's most certainly not ready to move out of my bed.
God, how can they even come of with the term "good sleeper" what the hell is that all about anyway?? So just because Ryan might wake up a few times (which he normally doesn't, he sleeps through the night) and needs my presence to go back to sleep, he's not a "good sleeper"!?
Do they forget how quickly babies grow up? Before you know, your child will be up and running, slowly growing into a teenager and building up his own life... And those days of dependence will be soon gone. This is such a short period of time in their long lives, you should make the most of it... Keep your baby as close as you can because soon enough he'll pull away, searching for his independence. I am already missing Ryan as a newborn... He's quickly growing into a toddler, already showing signs of moving away from me, wanting to run around and explore things by himself and not to mention feed himself... Soon the days of me cuddling him while feeding him the bottle will be gone, and God will I miss them...
I don't know how parents can stand using the "crying it out" method, listening to their babies cry for them and letting them fall asleep upset... I'm not really saying self soothing isn't a good skill to have, but why force it on them so early when they're clearly not ready for it? What's so wrong about having your child in bed with you for the first few years? Geeez...
Ok... Enough about this, I think I've made my point clear. Off to read my book now.
COMMENTS
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Joli
18:12 Oct 01 2008
No, it's not too funny at all. You're doing great and your eyes are lying to you...sometimes they do that. Try to remember that your value lies elsewhere and new moms have enough to do without worrying about chasing some illogical ideal...and a size zero is illogical! Find that beauty the rest of us see. I promise, it is right there and real.
dabbler
02:36 Oct 02 2008
I found that making meals a ritual type event have really cut down on comfort eating. It leaves me craving junk foods, but it makes me explore better alternative snacks as well.