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Preggy tummy, week 16-17...

















It's pretty easy to see I am preggy now if you take a look at my tummy... But either people are too "kind" to ask, or they just think I've gained weight. lol... At school, I mean.



Oh well, a week to go to graduation...

I should be cheering, laughing, enjoying... Instead I am feeling guilty, ashamed, depressed, upset, and definitely not proud of myself... I have done much less than I could have, my grades aren't nearly as good as they should be. I even failed history... well, not because I am stupid, but because I didn't do all my homework... I can't help it, I swear it's not laziness, whenever I think about school it still feels like some evil demon is pressing against my chest and making it difficult for me to study... I am so ashamed of myself, I don't dare to show anyone my grades. I have a couple of C's... That could have been A's...

This just proves that I haven't learned anything. I haven't learned to not care about grades, to not let grades decide how I am as a person, not to let grades affect me this way... I was trying to convince myself I was pass something that I'm not... The fact that I totally snapped at Yendor the other day just proves it, I mentioned my failing history... He simply asked like anyone would, if I can't do anything about it... And I burst out in anger which lasted the whole day... Not at him, I just acted it out like I was angry at everyone, like everyone thought of me as a failure cause I had one F... But in truth I did realize the only one who thinks of me as a failure is myself.

Sigh...



I hope my baby will have more common sense than I do.



On 4th July I will be about 18 weeks preggy so it'll be time for my ultrasound... We've decided to find out the gender, it makes planning easier and... I wanna know. lol Although I am convinced it's a boy...



Btw, Liverpool just lost the Champions League cup to Milan... Bleh! But at least they came second... I am happy about that... They're champions to me ;)

I am so getting my baby a liverpool shirt. lol



I guess I better go and study for my philosophy test on friday... I haven't even touched the book yet, typical me behaviour. But I'll make it somehow... I have to.





Oh... did I mention I am going to study english teaching this summer? :) Yep, after I've given birth to baby I'll be getting work as an english teacher... I really think that's what I want to do.



*tries to keep head up high*

Grades and school isn't everything...

Why is it that women seem to plant everything in their memory, while men can hardly remember what they did yesterday?

So, today I am going to my Dad's for 2 weeks of babysitting my little Nikki :D

She's the cutes baby EVER! ♥



I'm only hoping my baby will be as cute as her. lol

She's about 5-6 months old now... :)



Anyway this means I won't have a whole lot of time to dedicate to my studies, and I only have like 3 weeks to finish a big pile of homework...

I need a kick in the ass to get me going!

I will just have to use time as well as I can...

Cause there's NO way I am not graduating!!!



I'm going to Malta on June 9th, and from that day me and Yendor will never spend a day apart ever again!!! :D

Though, we might have to get by with a 2 weeks "break" between the end of August and middle of Sept... He can't fly to Sweden before the middle of Sept, and it scares me a bit to fly with my preggy tummy that late.



We'll see...



If I could just get school out of my mind finally, there's nothing, and I mean nothing, that can stop me from being sincerely Happy... finally.

LOL



Oh my godness, Eurovision is SUCH a joke.

I love Malta for giving the UK 12 points though.

♥

LOL



Poor Sweden are crying now.



*pouts* why does everyone hate France? Frenchmen in pink clothes acting like clowns rock! :P





Aaaanyway...

Perhaps Poland will have a better entry next year, although I sincerely doubt that. lol

Sooo...

Tonight I will waste 3 hours of my life watching Eurovision 2007. I think it'll be worth it just to see Lordi perform once again... They rock my socks! They must be the best winners in ESC ever. lol



Surprisingly enough, this year I actually like a few songs. Even Sweden has a good song for once! And it's not really that they're brilliant musically speaking... They just appeal to me in some weird way.



Take France for example, their song makes me happy.



Or Bulgaria, it's really weird but I like the techno sound.



Irelands is very soulfull to me... And the music is so pretty.



Hungary makes me like blues.



Slovenia has some nice opera going on.



Russia... The girls are damn hot and the song so reminds me of Britney Spears, what's not to like? :P



Sweden has some typical glamrock... Not one of my fav, but it's not bad so I just might cheer for them tonight.



Ukraine is SO wrong that it becomes SO funny... and so catchy I can't get it out of my head lol.



___





I'd like Finland's song if the girl had a stronger voice, same thing with Moldova.



The UK... They can't be taking ESC seriously if they send that song, that's all I can say about it.



Serbia, I don't understand what the fuss is about, sure it's a nice ballad but it's definitely not the best entry!



Belarus I understand even less. What's the deal with it?? The guy is damn ugly, his dancing even worse, and the song is typical EuroCrap.



Spain... WTF? They're almost as bad as Belarus... The song doesn't even sound spanish, apart from the fact that they sing in Spanish... at least that's a +.



Latvia... 4 Muppets singing in Italian?? It's not even funny.



Greece are in the same category as Spain and Belarus.



Turkey - Ditto







all and all... I think I am voting for France tonight.



We'll see... but I bet my ass Ukraine will win, especially with all the support from other Eastern countries.

I just read an interesting thread in the Sandbox. Yes, you heard me, that's right, the Sandbox. It's nice to hear how many really are concerned about its situation. I remember Daermons Chatter's Café and I so miss that place, I met some of my closest VR friends through it. It was original, fun, creative, anything you'd wish for. Why can't all these games/bar threads just burn in hell like they ought to?



Most of all I miss having serious discussions. I am not good at talking in front of people IRL, nor am I good at presenting my opinions when I feel pressured. VR was a way for me to finally open up and get some confidence when it comes to discussions, i was such a relief for me... Such joy, and now it's gone. I can no longer find a reasonable thread to reply to - I would happily activate myself in the General Discussion, but since my knowledge in vampirism and such is lacking, I often find myself unable to. In all honesty it makes me feel stupid. I hate feeling stupid.



Since I joined VR again I have a few times attempted to open threads of a more serious character, all of which were lost. It got on my nerves and I wont bother to try again... My congratulations to anyone who still has the will to fight against the evil.



This is one of the main reason why I got tired of VR and got cured from my addiction. I am now constantly struggling to find something here which will keep me from logging out after only a few min. I still haven't found my call...

I'm going to go and see my Baby in only a matter of minutes!!! I am SO excited! I think I'm gonna cry! LOL

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, I just feel like jumping around like a fool! My Baby!!! I'll ask for pictures as well for Daddy to see... The only thing make me pouty is that he's not here the first time I'm gonna see our Baby :(



At least my mother is coming with me! She's almost as excited as I am... No one can be happier about Baby than me!



And EVERYONE keeps saying it's gonna be a boy... Not that they know it for sure, they just say so. But it makes me think that it must mean it will really be a boy... Maybe I should find out the sex of it. I don't know... I know Yendor wouldn't want me to so I guess I'll wait for the surprise.



I don't mind having a boy, obviously I'd love a boy just as much! It's just that... I have this crazy idea that a girl would be more after her mommy... And I want my Baby to be after me...



I better get in the shower now!



I'll keep you updated... :)

Today I am a Happy Mommy!



I went out for a lunch of Veggie Sushi, and just now I signed up for a Preggy Yoga class... Weee!!!



I SO miss working out, it's driving me crazy!!!



Oh and yesterday I officially entered week 15... I swear my tummy is getting bigger each day.



Hopefully there's a yummy, healthy baby growing inside. :)

LIVERPOOL did it AGAIN!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D

WOOOBLOODYHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

WE

KICK

SOME

BIG

ASS!!!!