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I am so GRRR, but I am trying to remain respectable and reasonable...



I have strongly underestimated the ignorance of some members. What sense is there even trying to open an interesting debate, if only 1 out of 100 whelps are even a little bit interesting, and seemingly intelligent?



I am not one to give up, but I know when there's no reason to try.

Look at me, preching about the danger of eating disorders. I know all the facts, all the consequences, all the reasons... I am so eager to help others who are having trouble with this.



When will I learn to listen to myself? When will I learn that puking isn't the answer?



I am so ashamed.

Thank god for people like you. :)

Is there such a thing as being a "pure lesbian"? Can one really be exclusively attracted to women, and not ever think about wanting a man?



And can one really be purely heterosexual? At least it seems to me that most women find other women attractive, but to different degrees.



But is it really natural not craving a man's body? Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?



Whatever I am, whatever I feel, I'm rejecting it.

I don't want it inside me anymore.

I don't want to feel this way about women.

It's causing too much complication, too much confusion, too much desperation.



Can't I just be straight, drooling over men and enjoy sexual intercourse involving a penis??

PLEASE!?



I am trying so desperatly to ignore this... I can't accept something like this. Why can't I just be bi? What's wrong with being bi? Who's punishing me?



Why, oh why is the vision of this smooth, wet, warm heaven so tempting?



The devil is a woman, and she's tormenting me.

I don't want her, god please I don't want her...

Once, it feels like so many years ago...

I met this woman who changed my life, for the better.

She was the most alive and beautiful woman I had ever layed my eyes on...

She brought me laughter and some sense to my life, she made me see all things that matter, all the beauty that is life.

I have yet to meet a person who can compete with her powerful spirit.



I couldn't see it then, perhaps I'm not even seeing it fully now... But I feel like I finally know what she meant with all her colours... Purple, green, blue, red, yellow... I have fallen in love with colours, and it has given me so much life.



Thank you for opening my eyes, my lovely pinkgreendream...

For some reason... I... feel reborn, in a not so special kind of way.

I'ts like I've opened up a part of myself to the world, found a piece of the puzzle that is me, one step closer to completion. If there is such a thing...

Can one ever really be complete, considering the complex spirit which resides in the human body?



It doesn't really matter how or what changed me, or rather the discovery I found. What matter is that I did. And it really do comes when you least expect it to...

I was speaking to him, and out of the blue I began to say things I didn't even know I was thinking... And I realized, this is me.



Fascinating...



I am trying to let go, of all the things holding me back. I am trying to evolve. I am trying not to hold back, not to let some old demons find me again.

Yes, I refuse to fall back into where I once was... I refuse to look into the past.



I am trying to accept myself as I am and not try to change to please others, I think that is one of my biggest missions in life. Let go of being the "pleaser", the one who always says "yes", the one who is too afraid of hurting to stand up for what she believes, the one who looks at herself as a failure, the one who doesn't believe in her own abilities... the one with a lack of self consciousness and self confidence. Most of all, the one who can take criticism without taking it straight to the heart and judge her self worth by it... The one who can make mistakes and learn from them... the one who doesn't need anyone but herself, the one who accepts being dependant on someone else, especially if its someone who loves her...



I've rediscovered the beautiful, poetic, creative, alive side of me... I thought it was dead.



But here I am, alive again...

And this time I am going to embrace life and myself.