The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

21:23 Aug 31 2007
Times Read: 734

I have this fucking restless legs syndrome and it's KILLING ME!!!

Add the nausea to that, I have no appetite and really can't eat..

I am really tired and sleepy but can't fall asleep cause of this twitching I keep feeling in my legs.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!



PLEASE make this baby come already!! :'(

I feel like a penguin
19:45 Aug 30 2007
Times Read: 734

For some reason exercising seems to be making me nauseous today...

I swam for about 20 min I think, I wasn't feeling well...

Then I did some simple exercises and the nausea came back so I had to stop.

sigh



And I can't walk normally anymore, I waddle like a penguin.



I'm SO done with being pregnant, I want the baby to be out... At the same time, I can't believe I'll have an actual BABY to take care of in just a matter of weeks... A little life totally dependent on me and Yendor.

o.O



I'm hungry. Being hungry makes me nauseous.



I'm gonna go boil some broccoli and eggs...

Yes, I'm craving broccoli.

Yum yum.



:)

17:27 Aug 30 2007
Times Read: 738

Gah...

Yoga made me nauseous and I threw up... A little bit of blood too, but I doubt it's anything to worry about...



Now Yendor and I were supposed to go swimming but he fell asleep as I suspected he would, so I'll have to go by myself... I haven't been swimming for 3 or 4 days now and it's getting to me... I need the fresh water.



Only problem is I'm gonna have to walk there now... And I am so exhausted. But I have to... or I'm gonna go insane sitting at home.



Sigh...



Wish me luck.

14:22 Aug 30 2007
Times Read: 741

I'm becoming a juice addict...

And it's not good.

I have to watch my sugar level.



I tried to go out for a walk again but I just bought juice and came back, it's too damn hot.



I'll try to do some yoga now and go swimming in the evening when Yendor will be sleeping.



At least, that will give me something to do...

Knocked up
13:47 Aug 30 2007
Times Read: 742

I just watched this movie and it surprised me how good it was. I'm normally not really into comedies, but this one was so much more than a comedy.

It was about baby and it made me cry.

♥

Everyday is a pain in the ass
07:37 Aug 30 2007
Times Read: 747


Create yours at BlingyBlob.com!





Please can't time go FASTER?



It's 10 degrees in Stockholm... 10!!! Autumn is coming early, oh the beautiful colors, the cold wind, the soothing rain...



And I can't believe I haven't mentioned it yet, but my mother found a homeless cat (which later turned out to be pregnant) and she took it home... About 2 months ago now I think, a bit less than that. The funny thing is that she's NEVER been a cat person and now she's absolutely in love with this cat...

It gave birth to 3 little kittens 3 weeks ago.

I wanna go home and see them!!!



Reason 3 to go home - Taking walks in the forest, YUMMY!



4 - Polish food and Swedish candy.



5 - Buying BABY stuff!!! We're planning on buying most things in Sweden since that's where we'll have to use them at first... Luckily, my mother has saved my old cot in the basement so we won't have to buy two... We just have to buy one to have here when we come back. AND since my father is having another baby in Nov they're buying a new pram for two babies... Which means we'll be getting my sister's pram and won't have to buy a new one!! which is good cause they're damn expensive...



Speaking of baby, it's kicking so much now I can even feel the movements without having to lay down and rest... It's such an active baby I'm afraid I won't get any sleep at all once it's out. o.O





Maybe I should just spend 8 hours writing in my journal... in 8 hours Yendor will be back home... Last night was sooo gooood... I barely slept, he didn't sleep at all... We drove to the airport to get me orange juice and it was airconditioned... AAHH and the air outside was cool enough for me to breathe...

Seeing the sun rising again now is so awful it makes me want to cry. I asked Yendor if he couldn't just drive me to the airport before work and let me stay there the whole day... lol





Oh siiiiiigh, I'm trying not to think about it, but this is jjust another endless day where I'll have to struggle to keep myself sane.

It's not that I'm bored, boredom is a part of it, but it's more that I feel like I have nothing to do and nowhere to go... I'm just letting time pass... actually begging it to pass... And unable to do anything in this heat... There ARE things I could do, but the heat makes it impossible for me to do them.



Bleeh...



Like now, I can't sit up any longer, I need to rest.

21:28 Aug 29 2007
Times Read: 754

Thanks to Yendor I start feeling somewhat better about the stupid certificate... diploma... whatever.



But now I am going crazy in the heat, feeling restless, too awake to sleep, bored and nauseous.



Am I EVER going to feel good again?

To realize the truth about oneself
13:17 Aug 29 2007
Times Read: 762

It turns out I didn't need to be more "optimistic" than I was.

It's been said several times that I give up too easily, and perhaps I do, but this time I'd say it is with a good reason.

How could I ever think even for a second that someone like me, a shy, quiet, insecure, stupid little girl could ever stand in front of a class teaching English?

Or do anything else for that matter.



I am failure, I can say that now. A complete failure.

I haven't done ANYTHING in my life so far worth praising or feeling proud of, ANYTHING!

I failed high school.

I graduated, but with very low grades in my standards.

I failed my TEFL course.

I passed, but not with enough points for anyone to ever want to hire me.

Fuck, I wouldn't hire myself.



This course was a total waste of money and time... Effort, energy and belief.

I feel incredibly guilty and sorry for Yendor for having that undying belief in me, so much that he spent so much money for me to attend this course.

And I failed him.



I don't deserve him.

He definitely deserves more than a loser like me.

I should go back to Sweden and live off my mother for the rest of my life.

I don't want to life off him, but apparently I'll have to cause I'm too stupid and not capable of working OR studying. Or doing anything at all.



I can't take care of myself, I can't take care of school, I can't take care of a household, I can't take care of a baby.



I hope I'll bleed to death giving birth to this baby.



I feel so fucking worthless, stupid, useless, what reason have I got to live? What happiness will I bring to Yendor and the baby being like this? Why should I even bother living?





There's nothing good about me.

There might be good IN me, but not about me.



Maybe I could sweep floors... Oh wait, but I don't know how to clean.



I would tear this fucking certificate apart if it wasn't for my knowing it would piss him off badly.



And on top of all this fucking shit I am feeling tired, dizzy, weak and just fucking BLEH!



I've never felt so bad and so hopeless in my life. There's always been a glimmer of hope in the past, something to keep me going, but this time...

It's all black.

I don't know if or how I'm gonna get out of this mess now.



Please goddammit I just want to kill myself.

Give me my body back
10:32 Aug 29 2007
Times Read: 765

I'm so exhausted, I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life. The past 2 days I haven't been up to exercising which I'm feeling REALLY bad about... But the heat and feeling tired like this really isn't helping... I want to go out for a walk while Yendor is at work, but in 35 degrees C? I can barely get up from the chair without having to catch my breath, even when I'm sitting down my body is feeling exhausted... I keep falling asleep, even when I don't think I'm tired...

Everything feels like it takes all my energy to do...



This baby is so heavy.

I'm only entering my 8 month now, and it's already feeling unbearably heavy. How am I supposed to be able to walk around with this?



This isn't good... I think I haven't done any Yoga for 3 days, I need to do at least some exercises... And I feel bad cause I'm not eating enough fruit, I can't remember the last time I ate veggies...

*cries* I feel so guilty, so so so guilty... Not for my sake, for the baby's... I feel like I'm depriving baby of the most important things, healthy food and movement.

*sigh*





I don't care if it's 35 degrees outside... I am going out... I need to go to the English School where I took the course almost 2 months ago now o.O what the hell have I been doing since...?

And pick up my certificate... Yes... I passed...

I just don't know which grade I got.

Probably a C.

I am so damn negative.



Anyway, it takes me 30 min to walk back and forth, which is enough daily exercise for me in this state...



I'm just gonna have to do it.



Gah... When is this baby coming out again?

09:55 Aug 28 2007
Times Read: 779

Seriously, fuck this.

I wish I could go bury myself alive and die.

Nothing makes me happy anymore.

I'm wondering what I'm doing here at all, what I'm doing still alive.

I can't take this anymore, I seriously can't!!!



I'M SICK OF BEING CRITICIZED GIVE ME A CHANCE AND LET ME LIVE MY OWN LIFE PLEASE GOD!!!!!!!



I AM NOT A CHILD! I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! AND MY BABY FOR THAT MATTER!



FUCK if this doesn't stop I'll run away to a desert island with my baby. Maybe THEN I'll be left alone and can FINALLY have some peace and quiet.

MAYBE.

07:21 Aug 28 2007
Times Read: 784

Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed

PISSED!

07:12 Aug 28 2007
Times Read: 785

I woke up feeling even worse than yesterday.

I am switching between being pissed and crying.

I don't know what to do with myself, I can't handle this.

Sweden feels like my salvation right now, but is it really? I'm just escaping again...

I don't want to be alone.

I'm afraid of being alone.

I don't know what I'm capable of doing when I'm alone.

I keep getting a headache and feel a pressure on my chest... I keep feeling nervous and wanting to flee...

And all the while it's too hot, baby is too heavy to carry, I can't do anything without having to catch my breath, I keep getting nauseous and falling asleep, I feel terrible because I didn't exercise yesterday, I feel weak and baby's kicking is making me feel uneasy... What scares me the most is that I don't want this baby when I'm like this, and it feels my emotions.

What am I doing here? Why am I living still? What is my life... What am I doing with a baby?



Oh Please God...

What the...
14:49 Aug 27 2007
Times Read: 803

Do you know what scares me the most about this though?

I feel incredibly pissed, but I have no desire or need to slam doors, shout, swear, throw things around or hit something like I usually do.



It's like I have this immense anger beating inside my chest, but no way to let it out.



I feel so strangely calm in the midst of all this fury.



And everything is making me angry... Yet I feel a controlled behavior and can act normally.



What the hell does this mean?? It's scaring me...

Help!? o.O

14:12 Aug 27 2007
Times Read: 807

I am really pissed today and I can't seem to let it go.

This thread, just added fuel to it:

https://www.vampirerave.com/message.php?message=459311



And I have no idea why.

02:27 Aug 27 2007
Times Read: 813

I am a thirsty, hungry, restless, pregnant insomniac.

Beware...

VR rant
00:43 Aug 27 2007
Times Read: 817

I really, really dislike this new system.

I doubt I'll ever get used to it, knowing what it used to be like.

I've spent almost 4 hours now online mostly rating and posting in the forum, and during all that time I've only managed to get 50 favor for the coven... I would have gained that amount of favor by playing hangman for half an hour!!!



This SUCKS and it's making me feel like I can't contribute to the coven as much as I'd like to.



:(



Perhaps it's more fair, but it's also more BORING and FRUSTRATING!



You just don't do this to a pregnant woman who's dying in the heat... You don't take away Boggled from her.



The way Boggled is now there's no competition at all, not only because you're not winning favor but because getting on the score board is as easy as baking a pie.





I hope the Cheaters are damn proud of themselves.

Fucking bastards.

23:01 Aug 26 2007
Times Read: 823

This is insane.

There are SO many societies that I have a feeling they'll end up fighting over Caitiffs, rather than Caitiffs begging to be inducted.



It feels like this is getting so out of hand...

Too much of a mess, too... just too much.



I consider myself VERY lucky to be a part of the greatest coven in VR - Lux Aeterna...



And it DOES make things better when you're sleeping with the Master.

LOL



O:)

*whine whine whine whine whine whine whine*
20:49 Aug 26 2007
Times Read: 828

I hate being pregnant, it's just one discomfort after another. I was feeling really weak and nauseous after swimming today, barely made it home... Then I threw up and went to rest. Finally, I began feeling better... For about 5 min. Then the baby began pressing like crazy with all its weight on my lungs and I got breathless... The pressing also makes my tummy feel very heavy and uncomfortable, sitting up isn't an option... Even laying down barely helps.

And then in the midst of it all the baby starts moving and kicking... AGAIN.

The weather isn't making this any easier either... Damn this heat, DAMN IT! It's supposed to be cool and nice during the evenings, but nooo... It's like a damn oven and it's not making it easier to sleep. We'll see if I'll sleep tonight.



I am craving juice and I have none... Just water.

Water, water, water.

I WANT JUICE!



At least I don't have (much) stretch marks...

At least I don't have swollen feet...

At least I don't have backaches...

At least I haven't gained too much...

At least I don't have swollen veins...

At least the baby is healthy...





Have...to...stay...optimistic...





O.O



If he gets me pregnant again, I'm gonna shoot him.

16:41 Aug 25 2007
Times Read: 839

My poor hard working Yendor came home from work after having worked an hour overtime, which makes it 9 hours, and fell asleep still in his uniform on the bed... Resting his feet on the floor and just laying down on his back. He didn't even eat or take a shower.



It amazes me every day that I found such a devoted, caring, responsible man to take care of me and baby.



Spending money makes me feel guilty though, I feel like I'm not contributing to the economy, one of the most vital things in life...

And considering how much we'll be spending now on the baby, and not to mention getting ourselves an apartment... It makes me feel even worse.

I just wish I could do more... I feel so lazy and useless spending my days being bored at home when he's working his ass off.



I want to work as well. I want to help out. Otherwise I feel guilty every time I ask to buy something, be it food or whatever.

I will work... someday, as an EFL teacher most probably cause I don't see myself attending university in the near or far future... Education has never been of much importance to me, family is. It's enough for me to be a qualified English teacher, even if it's only in language schools... At least I'll make money and I like teaching, isn't that what matters?



Though I'm wondering when I could begin working... Baby is going to need me now, and it's enough that its father will be away 8 hours a day... It needs someone close all the time, especially when it's still a little baby. There's daycare, I know, but I'm not sure that's an option for me... I want to spend time with my baby...

And then, I know it's way too soon to talk about it, but we're planning to have our second baby in 2 or 3 years to keep the age difference to a minimum...

When will I have time for work then?



I simply don't know what to do... I really don't :(

Babyfat
11:31 Aug 25 2007
Times Read: 846

So I finally went to the doctor yesterday and everything looks fine... I had a low blood pressure which explains my feeling weak and such, but it doesn't harm baby so that's all that matters.



So far I've gained 11kg or 24 pounds... I seem to be gaining 0.5kg or 1.1 pounds a week, which as far as I know is normal... To be healthy, you're supposed to gain between 11-16kg or 25-35 pounds. I feel like my body hasn't changed much, other than me not having a waist anymore and a huge bump for a tummy... And a little added fat on my hips and thighs, but that's normal as well... The body stores fat naturally because the baby needs it...



I don't seem to be eating too much, even though I feel like I eat unhealthy at times... I do try to exercise when I can... I shouldn't have gained more fat than necessary... I have about 10 weeks left to go in which it' natural to gain around 5kg or 11lbs... Something like that. The baby is going to put on another 2 kg or more...

I just have to keep up the exercise and healthy eating habits and I shouldn't have any troubles getting back in shape.



(Is it obvious I am trying to convince myself by typing all this out?)



Before I got pregnant I weighed 57kg or 125.4lbs... Unlike many, during my nausea period I HAD TO eat to feel better... Which made me have to eat more and better than before... Which lead to me gaining 3kg during the first trimester... About double the normal amount.

BUT... I am not too worried about that, because I believe my body has FINALLY adjusted to normal after my anorexia... I don't think I will have to live in fear of eating everything in moderation anymore... Which I have been for several years.

And all of this thanks to Baby...



I am trying hard not to panic too much about my body shape... But I want to lose as much as possible as soon as Baby is out, my goal weight being around 55kg (121lbs)...

But since I am used to eating healthy and I've come to like exercising, this shouldn't be too much of a problem for me.

I find myself surprisingly enough liking my body more than I hate it... I can get in the moods sometimes where I hate the extra fat and round shape of my thighs and ass, but other times I like it... Well, not like it, but it's not bothering me as much.



I think I want to keep some of the roundness, I am more into firming my body and making it stronger rather than becoming a skeleton... I think I actually prefer being a bit curvy. It makes me feel like a woman... And what can you expect from one who's had a baby? :)



*pinches the fat which used to be my waist*

This is so true... just ask Yendor LOL
10:02 Aug 25 2007
Times Read: 848

You Are a Carousel

You are young at heart and a truly playful person. No one would ever accuse you of taking life too seriously. You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure. In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of. And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal. Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy. You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you. You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you. Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children. At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative. Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully. At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy. You've been known to act like a brat if you aren't getting your way!

I love Lavender ♥
09:48 Aug 25 2007
Times Read: 849

You Are Lavender

You are a sweet person with a very soft personality. People become easily entranced with you. They seem to glow around you. You have a quiet energy that can keep you active late into the night. Even if you aren't the life of the party, you definitely keep the party going.

Someone take me to the North Pole, please?
08:09 Aug 25 2007
Times Read: 850

From what it looks like according to the weather site, the weather isn't going to change for another week.

Which means unendurable heat, humidity, and sunny, sunny, sunny days to come... Without one single day's break.

I don't know how I'm going to survive this, the heat is really getting on my nerves so much that I can feel my skin go all... I don't know how to explain it...



I wish I could go swimming or take a walk, but it's a pain in the ass to do so cause of the weather in the EVENING... So I don't even need to mention how it is in the morning or during the day, when I'm stuck at home getting bored and annoyed.

This his TORTURE!



I want Swedish weather, mmm Swedish weather...



4 weeks left to that...

This heat is KILLING ME!!!!!!!!
14:33 Aug 24 2007
Times Read: 858

BOOOOOOOORED

BOOOOOOOOORED

BOOOOOOOOOORED

And even more

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!





I can't do ANYTHING but sleep or rest in this heat AND in this pregnancy.



AARGGHHHH!!!!

...
12:01 Aug 24 2007
Times Read: 862

I'm feeling so ill, so sad, so lost, so lonely, so far away from everything, so disoriented, so hopeless...so...

I can't even write about it.

This might as well be me...
12:27 Aug 23 2007
Times Read: 872

Baabyyyy!
08:53 Aug 23 2007
Times Read: 875

I am entering week 30 today...

o.O



I feel like my tummy is HUGE!

I can't imagine that it's going to get even bigger... I hope not too much... I am not giving birth to a 10 pound baby!!!



I feel like sucking on something... minty.

My appetite still hasn't come back though the pressure is easier so I can eat without any problems... Although I get full quickly.



Today is the 23rd of August.

I wish it was 23rd of September.

But honestly, not because I want to go back to Sweden badly anymore, more to escape this damn weather.



It's hot today again.

Oh JOY!

...
17:29 Aug 22 2007
Times Read: 888

I am so fat and I feel so yucky.

Sleepless nights
08:05 Aug 22 2007
Times Read: 891

It's damn hot and humid here.

I didn't fall asleep until 5 am, and even then I slept badly... I woke up after 4 hours and can't fall back to sleep. This heat is killing me, can it be winter already? And the worst thing is it's supposed to be hot like this for another week at least... How am I ever going to get a good nights slee? sigh

20:38 Aug 21 2007
Times Read: 894

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,

beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home

decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I can't keep up with these changes
15:49 Aug 21 2007
Times Read: 904

My appetite has suddenly gone poof.

I can barely make myself eat, I don't feel hungry and when I do try to eat it's SO hard to chew and swallow the food...

What happend?

I don't even want sushi anymore.



Give me my appetite back! :(

What am I supposed to do on VR now? o.O
15:30 Aug 21 2007
Times Read: 907

I was really enjoying the VR games and earning favor for Lux... And poof, all the games are gone.

My thanks to whoever was cheating, well done.

14:45 Aug 20 2007
Times Read: 921

I have stretch marks on my ass.

Clear, red, dozens of marks on both sides of my ass.

I'M GOING TO TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

08:01 Aug 20 2007
Times Read: 929

I am so, very, deeply, frustratingly depressed today.

I've had enough, I'm sick of it all.

I can't cope with this!

Aren't I supposed to be an adult, ready to take care of myself AND my baby?

I AM NO LONGER A CHILD!

I don't want interference in my life.

I don't want anyone to tell me what to and what not to do.

Not even my own mother.

I'm sick of it. Enough!

ENOUGH!!!



Let me be an adult for GOD'S SAKE!



I'm sick of being complained at, yelled at, told what to do, that was FINE while I was still growing up.

I am supposed to be READY MADE now! I am supposed to HAVE A BABY whom I I I I and NO ONE ELSE but Yendor is going to raise.

MY BABY, MY LIFE!



I'm so angry and frustrated that I'm just sitting here crying.



Please if there is a God, help me.



The only person I want to interfere with my decisions, my opinions, my doings, my LIFE, is Yendor.



I'm so fucking sick of this.....



And in the midst of it all I have to wake up feeling DEPRESSED again.

I want to hide and talk to no one.

I want to go drown myself.

ARGH!

A Piggy named Adora
18:44 Aug 19 2007
Times Read: 936

What is happening to me?

I can't think of anything else but food.

All this yummy, delicious food.

Aaahhhh...



I am craving pizza crust with pineapples. LOTS and LOTS of pineapples...



Or Polish food... Like Bigos... (sauerkraut with polish mushrooms and sausage)

Or Polish salad... It's a mix of vegetables, polish sour cucumber, eggs.. mixed with mayo...

Or sushi... My beloved sushi...

Or Samon... Smoked samon baguette... Or grilled Samon with lots of lemon, mashed potatoes and spinage...

Or couscous with quorn and pineapple...

Or nachos... nachos with guacamole and hot peppers.

Or avocado with caviar...

Or fresh smoothies...

Strawberries... Blueberries... ALL berries... Perhaps with a little sugar and cream...



MMMMMMMMM YUMMY!



Oh no. The fruit talk made me crave sweet now...



Yendor is taking me out to eat... (mainly because it's the only way for me to get a pizza stuffed with only pineapples)



Beware whatever restaurant we enter...

And Beware Yendor's wallet.





o.O

I crave...
01:57 Aug 19 2007
Times Read: 949

The camera makes my tummy look bleh
14:03 Aug 13 2007
Times Read: 971

27 weeks and 4 days...

13:46 Aug 13 2007
Times Read: 972

Oh god I am completely insane.

I feel perfectly fine other than feeling a bit nauseous (don't tell me it's gonna start again please!!)

And yet I feel like crying for no reason, I feel tears taking shape in my eyes...

Damn hormones.



And I am craving salty nachos.



Well, so far I've experienced these third trimester symptoms... Although many of them I had already I think at least 2 weeks before I entered the third...



*Increased skin temperature as the fetus radiates body heat, causing the mother to feel hot.



*The increased urinary frequency returns due to increased pressure being placed on the bladder.



*Leg cramps may become more frequent. (I keep getting those damn cramps grrrr)



*Braxton-Hicks contractions (false labor) may begin to occur at irregular intervals in preparation for childbirth. (question... is that what contractions feel like? your tummy getting all hard and then soft again?)



*A woman's libido (sexual drive) may decrease. (poor Yendor, I know)



*Skin pigmentation may become more apparent, especially dark patches of skin on the face. (my freckles are SO visible!!)



*Constipation, heartburn, and indigestion may continue. (this sucks)





I am also feeling just weird, weak, breathless, tired... and sometimes just bleh.



Despite this, I consider myself lucky cause I still see no signs of stretchmarks... I was getting paranoid thinking that the stretch marks on the side of my tummy (my old ones) had increased, but they haven't... I'm just noticing them more.

And I don't really have dry, itchy skin. I'd hate that. And another thing which I find interesting is that I don't really have any backpains... I CAN get them if I sit down with an arched back for too long, but at long as I have support or just keep it straight I'm fine. I must have strong back muscles... and abdominal muscles too for that matter, cause if you ask me my tummy still isn't very big for being in the 7th month.



Now thinking of that makes me happy :)



Another thing, I Read that most women have gained 16-22 pounds by the 27th week which makes my weight gain normal... I haven't weighed myself for 4 weeks I think, but I am counting on that I've probably gained around 23 pounds by now... But at least that means, I Have NOT put on too much fat like I was worrying about...



So, I am just going to keep walking and swimming whenever I can, eat even healthier (damn my nacho cravings...)... And I think that I should and might just possibly be fine with the weight gain... If it really is what it says, that the weight gain is all baby, blood, fluids, placenta and some extra fat which the body is programmed to store... I should have no problems losing it :)



(Oh, and apparently you lose 500 kcal a day just by breastfeeding the baby... hehehehhe)





I feel like a happy bunny!!!



Though I feel like being just with myself and baby today, I'm going to take the bus to Valletta and walk around... perhaps shop if I've got any money left, uh oh. lol

I'm paranoid about checking my account.

Eeekk...





Anyways... :)

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle...
18:42 Aug 10 2007
Times Read: 985

My newest philosophy is that it's OK to eat less healthy food as long as you give your body the nutrition it needs.

*nibbles on chocolate*



Hey, I just had a banana before that >:)

22:00 Aug 08 2007
Times Read: 992

Thank god for the yummy...

Without it, my birthday would have passed without a single smile.

Thank you ♥



A much better feeling bunny, I am :)

14:42 Aug 08 2007
Times Read: 997

Is it wrong that I feel like I need my mommy more than him, at least now?



I could go home, but I can't leave him here.



At the same time I am feeling so homesick and down, and missing my mother more every day.



Today is my birthday... She would have got me a yummy cake, my favorite one, and we would eat it together with my sister after a nice family dinner...

I would get hugs and kisses... and love... and perhaps a present or two.



Here I feel like I have nothing.

This day is going to pass just like any other day, I'm not even feeling that it is my birthday.



And feeling like this makes me feel so incredibly guilty. I know he's doing his absolute best for me to be happy, he's doing everything for me... Yet all I can do is cry for my mom.

I can't even imagine how much that must be hurting him.





Sigh... I don't know what to do anymore, I just don't.

Happy birthday to me
05:26 Aug 08 2007
Times Read: 1,006

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to...

Yummy Mummy
17:13 Aug 07 2007
Times Read: 1,016

I've decided to take advantage of the fact that I have the sea right outside the door.

Yesterday, I went swimming for about 30 min and today I kept it up to 45 min.

It

feels

So

GOOOOD!



I am definitely spending the rest of my stay here exercising, I can't believe I had almost forgotten how much I need it.



AND I am getting more in control of my diet again, even though I'm afraid I am stepping on a few toes doing so, I must do it for my own good...

This is about me and the Baby, and no one can tell me what I should eat or not, or what I should and should not do... I know what's best for us and I need to stop being so concerned about other people's feelings and put them before my own... I have a baby to think about, I need to stand up for baby at least if not for myself.

Those few toes will just have to live with it.



So be it...

10:34 Aug 07 2007
Times Read: 1,023

I am bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.



And I want to go home.

I want my mommy.

I can't stand having these pains cause of the baby and not having her around.

I don't understand why but I am not feeling comfortable being here and the pregnancy is just making it worse.

I want home, I want my mommy, and I don't know how I'm gonna get through another 7 weeks here.



And the baby has been hurting me all morning, I'm having pains in my tummy and it's getting a bit painful when it moves... I've just been crying all morning and I don't know what to do with myself. Why do I feel so lonely?

...
01:30 Aug 07 2007
Times Read: 1,549

Sigh.

o.O
21:34 Aug 06 2007
Times Read: 1,554

This... doesn't sound very comforting.







The Scorpio Baby

Scorpio October 23 - November 21

Planet - Mars & Pluto

Element - Water



Provided by Astrology.com



When a Scorpio baby enters the world, all eyes will focus on them. And that's exactly how it will be for a long time to come, as this baby must be the center of attention! To that end, this is quite the manipulative little tot, sucking up energy from everyone around. The Scorpio baby is also a bit mysterious, making it hard to figure out what's wrong when the crying starts. So often, it's something which is seething below the surface and will be very hard to draw out of this child. You must also consider power struggles when thinking of this child, as the Scorpio baby will expect that Mom, Dad, and everyone else will fit into their schedule and plans. Make no mistake, this is a powerful child! The flip side of this is that this baby is quite clear on what they want and can get that message across. One important note: Scorpio babes loathe lounging in dirty diapers, so change them often! Many times, this can be the simple source of their discomfort, although the malady may not always be so clear. For that reason, the Scorpio baby should be watched closely. Someone will generally be watching this child, though, as the Scorpio tot enjoys a crowd, especially one where it can lead. To sum up, the Scorpio baby is clever, wants things on their own terms, and will know how to get it. Watch out!

18:47 Aug 06 2007
Times Read: 1,557

Maybe it's all the hormones,

but I am missing my queen badly... my heart is breaking... I got a message from her and now all I can do is cry.



God do I want to see her again...



:(





At least they're together now.

09:40 Aug 06 2007
Times Read: 1,562



Create yours at BlingyBlob.com!

09:13 Aug 06 2007
Times Read: 1,563

08:57 Aug 06 2007
Times Read: 1,565

I think I've gained around 22lbs so far...

Oh joy. How am I going to lose all of it???

I'm eating too much.

Unfortunately now is not the time to cut down.. I'm entering my 3rd trimester in 3 days, and this is where the baby is supposed to put on weight...

But I really need to be more careful...

I just can't wait to get the baby out and get back into shape.

Feeling fat like this is AWFUL!

21:37 Aug 03 2007
Times Read: 1,575

Oh God not AGAIN!

This heat is KILLING me and the fan is barely helping.

I won't be able to sleep tonight...

Boggled, anyone?

08:38 Aug 03 2007
Times Read: 1,581

The baby is jumping around like a froggy in my tummy this morning...

My tummy has grown again,unfortunately I think I am getting stretch marks...

My ass is getting bigger...

And I have recently become addicted to hot chocolate.

(Yes, in the middle of summer)



Sigh,

I'll just end up being a fat, ugly mommy.

Woo bloody hoo.

21:24 Aug 02 2007
Times Read: 1,591

I am sucking at boggled tonight...



...I blame it on trying my best to play when my eyes are dying to close.



Hrm...



Must...earn...favor...

21:05 Aug 02 2007
Times Read: 1,593

I like pressing milk out of my boobies...

It's so much fun it even makes up for all the weight I'm putting on.

Lux Aeterna ROCKS all the socks!!!
07:14 Aug 02 2007
Times Read: 1,598

Results of last game:



Adora is a FIRST place winner with 83 points.

LadyKrystalynDarkstar is a SECOND place winner with 77 points.

TheCryingDutchess is a THIRD place winner with 56 points.



7 players were in the game.



Adora has won 21 Favor for The Coven of Lux Aeterna.



LadyKrystalynDarkstar has won 11 Favor for The Coven of Lux Aeterna.



TheCryingDutchess has won 4 Favor for The Coven of Lux Aeterna.





Winning Scorecard for Adora:



ail : 1 points

ain : 1 points

ane : 1 points

anes : 2 points

coin : 2 points

con : 1 points

cone : 2 points

cones : 4 points

cons : 2 points

keen : 2 points

liane : 4 points

lianes : 6 points

lin : 1 points

linn : 2 points

linns : 4 points

lino : 2 points

lion : 2 points

lions : 4 points

nee : 1 points

ness : 2 points

nil : 1 points

noil : 2 points

none : 2 points

nones : 4 points

oil : 1 points

pen : 1 points

pens : 2 points

pes : 1 points

ree : 1 points

reek : 2 points

reeks : 4 points

rees : 2 points

res : 1 points

see : 1 points

seek : 2 points

seeks : 4 points

seen : 2 points

seer : 2 points

sen : 1 points

ser : 1 points



Total Points: 83





_______________________________





Results of last game:



LadyKrystalynDarkstar is a FIRST place winner with 72 points.

Adora is a SECOND place winner with 71 points.

TheCryingDutchess is a THIRD place winner with 61 points.



5 players were in the game.



LadyKrystalynDarkstar has won 15 Favor for The Coven of Lux Aeterna.



Adora has won 8 Favor for The Coven of Lux Aeterna.



TheCryingDutchess has won 3 Favor for The Coven of Lux Aeterna.





Winning Scorecard for LadyKrystalynDarkstar:



ads : 1 points

ale : 1 points

and : 1 points

art : 1 points

ate : 1 points

bun : 1 points

bund : 2 points

bunds : 4 points

bung : 2 points

buns : 2 points

bus : 1 points

eat : 1 points

gae : 1 points

gal : 1 points

gale : 2 points

gate : 2 points

get : 1 points

gun : 1 points

guns : 2 points

hen : 1 points

hens : 2 points

her : 1 points

lag : 1 points

lane : 2 points

lang : 2 points

lar : 1 points

let : 1 points

lung : 2 points

meat : 2 points

nag : 1 points

neat : 2 points

net : 1 points

sad : 1 points

snag : 2 points

snub : 2 points

sub : 1 points

sun : 1 points

sung : 2 points

tae : 1 points

tale : 2 points

taler : 4 points

tan : 1 points

tea : 1 points

teal : 2 points

tel : 1 points

ten : 1 points

veal : 2 points

vet : 1 points



Total Points: 72