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2 entries this month

← Jan 2014

Numb
09:40 Sep 03 2019
Times Read: 516

The bare trees shake from the force of the wind on this forested full moonlight night. The only light and only thing I seem to recognize in this weary state. Although I’m naked I don’t feel cold and my body is covered in cuts and blood I feel no pain. I look up to the heavens and ask the moon why goddess am I here and so unable to feel; knowing that the howling wind is all who may answer. What do I need to do to be called human again?? For I do not feel alive and its all things I’m dead to, emotions I no longer feel and don’t care to see in others, something I once would have believed from jealousy. Pain is nothing more like a dull throb from the blood seeping out but no actual pain. The way the muscles in your face feel as they tighten while laughing in a joyous time is something I can no longer mimic for you see it’s been too long since I last experienced it. My eyes aren’t capable of tears my voice I can’t use in anything but a monochrome manner. So please ruler of night, women and all that’s hidden how long will I suffer like this if you won’t save me.

I know this place I put myself in and know that you will do nothing but watch and judge until I end my life or find the situation; but please oh goodness I beg you to be with me in anyway for a few moments just so i may have the ability to remember your power.
And as I see a young woman wearing what looked like an ancient Roman dress dance like phantom in front of me I could do nothing but but stare realizing in that moment that human I am no longer. I have no corporeal self but the thing below me looks like body. Numb is all I could be until I gave up trying to live when I was already dead.

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