The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Today's the last day of school,right now I'm in Mr.Loyas'class,career investigations,my elective.After today,I'll consider myself an eigth grader,and tonight's the peter piper thing,so yeah it'll be cool probably.Anyways........This summer my mom signed me up for guitar lessons so it won't be so boring after all I guess.Joey keeps saying hi to me when hardly anyone's around,like when we're alone.It's sorta starting to scare me now.but Marcos gave me back my neckllace I had given him when we were still going out;and I didn't want it,so beats me what Ashley did with it bedcause she took it.I hate to say it but as much as J.is a jerk,I still love him even if he's weird and if I could,I'd say I was sorry But I can't.I don't know why I just can't.I'm not friends with Joey Or Sergio anymore,but I've always liked Joey since the 1st day I met him.~carpe deia`Isabel.

Me and Marcos broke up long ago,and this bitch had asked him out while we were going out,and I've seen them together,but I broke up with him because I freaked out after something that happened,and J.kept saying hi to me.I don't wanna say hi to him when he does because I know he was calling me a hooker because of how I was dressed on Halloween,and he talked about me with Jenny and stuff,so he's a bastard.I can't believe I called him my best friend at all in the past.And he kept saying hi,and staring at me,and yesterday at P.E.,I felt weird,I just don't want to talk to anyone because I'm so deppressed,and the other night my mom hugged me and wouldn't let go.She dreamt I was possessed,and people dresed in black were with me,and she tried to save me but they wouldn't let me go,and that they took me,and I was screaming.But I had long hair and I was lder,and there was a girl with red hait,and guys with long dark hair,and they looked young,about 20,maybe 23 years old.and I wanted to cry when she told me this,and she said she was trying to save a little girl,and people were after her,but she somehow knew they were involved in the same thing.I know what it is.Satanism.Last year they did something to me,but I didn;t tell a single soul.It had to do with a stupid picture,and my neighbors' mom is wiccan,and she had said they wanted to sacrafice me or initiate me,and either way I was in.And the picture thing happened here at school.And I want to cry,because it's going to happen maybe in the times of the Antichrist or whatever,and I'm lost.These dys,I don't really know myself,I am so depppressed,and not a soul knows what lies beneath my fake smiles,and you can see it in my eyes,I'm not happy.I'm suicidal,and I can't take it anymore,I don't know what's wrong with me and I just want to be left alone.I'm not who people think I am,and I hate it when people preach at me because of how I dress,and because of my interests,like Astrology and myths,and because i'm gothic.No one really knows me.Now I don't really know myself.The internet was how I'd write some stuff and such,but since my computer crashed,I can't really write or say anything.I'm afraid if I write it in a notebook or such,that someone will read it and a whole mess will be created,or my mom will start questioning me and stuff like she's done before.And I really want to say sorry to Marc.,but I'm embarassed because I broke up with him,and he'll think"oh,now she's trying to talk to me"and I really am sorry,but I can't really be in a relationship right now,and there's alot of stuff going on,and J.,and all the stuff I have on my mind right now,I really don't know what to do right now,I'm really confused..........and there's meanings behing these words,secrets to unveil...........There's many things I wish to tell a soul,but I'm not sure they'll understand.I'm 13.And I'M JUST SO CONFUSED,i HAVE SERIOUSLY GOT TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER.~Isabel~