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This is all just random things going through my head... i don't expect it to make any sence just hoping it will help me get to sleep...





I can't sleep... All I can do is lay in bed and think of you.I wonder if you ever lay awake and think of me...



I lay here longing to have you next to me... to hear you heart beat as I rest my head on you chest.



I want to finally feel whole again... With out you by my side i am incomplete and lost.



I almost smoked a clove today just so I could be reminded of you, and be surrounded by a familiar taste and smell.



My mind is racing with a thousand thoughts and fears...



I am so afraid of loosing you it makes me cry, I am so very lost with out you and its only been a few days... i am terrified to think of what my life would be like with out you forever. Yes i managed to go a month with out seeing or being with you, but that was the worst month of my life in a very very long time... I don't think i have ever been consumed by such sadness and loneliness.



You are my everything... You are my world.... My other half, my best friend, my lover. When you are not here I am incomplete. When you are not here my world is cold and dark, in a way that scares me.



There is so much more running through my head... the thoughts are all jumbled... all I know is that I Love you, I have since the first time we went to the beach together.... That night as we stood there in the moon light I wanted nothing more then to kiss you and tell you how I felt.... I am so very sorry that I didn't because if I had things would be so very different now... Maybe I would not be laying alone tonight in my bed with nothing more then the thoughts in my head and the tears in my eyes....But the past is the past there is nothing i can do to change that... but know this no matter what words may come out of my mouth... I love you and i always will.... and no matter what I will do what i can to make it work and make you mine.