HERE I PUT SOME GODS/GODDESS!,PART ONE
ACHELOIS
Greek Healer Goddess
Moon Goddess of Pain Relief
Worshipped via the Dodonian Oracle, her name means ‘She who casts away pain’.
She will cure your headaches if you make a suitable sacrifice. Ever notice how the full moon looks like an aspirin?
ACHILLES
Greek legendary mortal
Moody hero of the Iliad
Heroic son of Peleus and Thetis the Nereid. He was moody, brooding, difficult... but a remarkable hero who got top billing in the Iliad despite spending most of it sulking in a tent.
He was educated at the CHIRON School For Heroes and, to ensure his heroic status, mum THETIS held him by the foot and dunked him in the River STYX. The sacred waters bestowed all-over invulnerability, but his foot was unaffected. Thence ACHILLES’s heel was the cause of his downfall, thanks to an arrow by the Trojan Paris.
ADONIS
Greek Fertility God
Handsome God of Desire with a massive squeeee! factor
For reasons we won’t go into, APHRODITE turned his mother Myrrha into a pregnant myrrh tree. When it split and the baby was revealed, APHRODITE was enchanted. "Ooh, he’s gorgeous. I’m saving him for later", she decided.
So she put him in a box and checked him in at the Underworld Deposit Bank under the care of PERSEPHONE — who took a quick peek and had the same thought.
When ADONIS grew old enough to be ‘Gods Gift to Women’, PERSEPHONE refused to hand him over. The case went to arbitration and CALLIOPE was asked to bring about a settlement. Her final judgment was this: For four months of the year, he would live with APHRODITE. Then she must hand him over for four months with PERSEPHONE. For the remaining four months the choice was up to him.
As APHRODITE was the first to find him, she had the first go. Using her girdle of desire, she declared that ADONIS loved only her and PERSEPHONE could take a running jump. So PERSEPHONE jumped in the direction of ARES (who was very struck on APHRODITE himself) and said: "Your fancy woman has got herself a mortal lover. You don’t stand a chance, he’s absolutely gorgeous!"
ARES was furious. Being of a boorish disposition, he changed himself into a boar and killed ADONIS in a hunting accident. This resulted in much hair-pulling and scratching and shrieking in OLYMPUS.
ZEUS decided it was time for a bit of peace. He declared that ADONIS was not totally dead, but could spend six months with each of them. So now APHRODITE enjoys his company in the spring and summer. They frolic, they dance, they snuggle — basically they do all the kinds of things fertility deities get such a naughty reputation for. And then in the fall he goes down to the Underworld for a long winter vacation.
This is why everything above ground fades and gets miserable during the winter months. Meanwhile, down below it’s party time. So the Underworld seems a good place to choose for a winter break.
BOREAS
Greek North Wind God
One of the fours sons of EOS and ASTRAEUS, he’s a bluff hearty God who’s always willing to blow favor to his fans. Not in the least chilly. Apart from temperature-wise, of course.
Married to OREITHYIA, his daughter is CHIONE, the Goddess of Snow, and his sons are the BOREADS. See also the AURAI.
BELLEROPHON
Greek legendary mortal
Annoying beast-bashing macho hero who pissed off Zeus
A grandson of SISYPHUS, he was one of those brawling hero types never happier then when he was biffing hideous monsters. For example, the awful CHIMERA.
When he captured the winged horse PEGASUS there was no stopping him until ZEUS, sick of his bragging and not wanting him as a member of the exclusive OLYMPUS set, sent a swift horsefly to unseat the High Rider.
BELLEROPHON fell to earth and hobbled off into obscurity.
BALIUS
Greek fabulous creature
Also known as BALIOS
One of Zephyrus's wild west wind horses
One of the amazingly immortal horses fathered by ZEPHYRUS, the West Wind. The other was XANTHUS.
They led a very eventful life, being given to Peleus as a wedding present by POSEIDON and then used by ACHILLES as chariot bearers in battle.
BRIAREUS
Greek fabulous creature
Also known as AEGAEON, BRIAREOS, OBRIAREOS
Terrible Timber Creature
He’s the top tree of the hundred-handed HECATONCHIRES giants, a race of formidable forest giants.
His brothers on the family tree are COTTUS and GYGES.
CALYPSO
Greek Silent Goddess
Also known as KALYPSO
Goddess of Shhh and secret lover of Odysseus
CALYPSO is a deity of silence. Which makes you wonder why Calypso music is so boisterous.
The daughter of ATLAS, she was one of the NYMPHS and lived on the island of Ogygia in a state of extreme loneliness and boredom.
She had a fling with the shipwrecked hero ODYSSEUS but it was a very quiet affair. He wasn’t that into her but his protests fell on deaf ears. When he was rescued by HERMES, the distraught CALYPSO apparently died of grief. We understand ODYSSEUS managed to keep the whole thing hushed up.
CHAOS
Greek Goddess
Also known as KHAOS
Shapeless Deity of Empty Space and Confusion
She — or possibly he — is a personification of the gaping cosmic void which existed before creation, an amorphous mass of unknowable zilchness.
The biography of CHAOS is a little chaotic — before the Universe began there was no-one around to take notes. But it seems that, in the beginning, there was a primordial emptiness. Over infinite eons this morphed into a huge wobbly state of random disorder. This was CHAOS.
Due to unspecified quantum improbabilities, a Cosmic Egg formed inside her belly. At some point there was a Big Greek God Bang. The Cosmic Egg hatched and gave birth to the Universe. GAIA and EREBUS were produced from the darkness, along with EROS. NYX the Goddess of Night also popped out and ancient Greek cosmology finally got going.
But the nature of CHAOS remains shrouded in obscurity. Is she (or he) even a deity, or just a concept? Nobody knows much about the Deity of Nothing, so perhaps there is nothing to know. If you know anything about nothing please get in touch.
In an attempt to pluck some order from the chaos, we have decided to classify CHAOS as an honorary goddess until it can be proven otherwise. Taking our cue from GAIA the Earth Mother, we hereby proclaim CHAOS to be Greek mythology’s official Space Mother. There are vast quantities of empty vaccuum out there and someone needs to look after it all.
CLIO
Greek Poetry Goddess
Also known as KLEIO
An epic Goddess of Historical Poetry
One of the MUSES, CLIO deals with historical saga and poetry. So she’s probably the Muse that Homer turned to for inspiration when he could only think of corny one-liners during Iliad fight scenes.
As well as stirring the creative juices, CLIO also introduced the Phoenician alphabet to Greece and did great things for the parchment industry.
CUPID
Awww, lovey, dovey, romance in the air. Isn’t he sweet? CUPID is one of the most popular Gods of all time. He can bring love and romance into your life just by firing the Arrow of Desire. Anyone struck by Cupid’s arrow gets well and truly shafted.
CUPID is the Roman version of the Greek Love God EROS. For some reason the romantic Romans decided to rebrand the handsome sexy youth into a cherubic and cuddly love angel with a wittle bow and arrow.
We presume this was due to pressure from the greetings card manufacturers who were looking for a suitably cute and sugary figure to decorate their new range of sickeningly florid Valentine’s Day merchandise.
Perhaps it’s just us, but we fancy the original Greek version, who is brimming over with desirable offerings. This Valentine’s Day, send CUPID back to the kindergarten and ask that sexbomb EROS out on a date.
DEMETER
Greek Agriculture Goddess
Also known as AUXESIA, DEO, CHLOE, SITO
Top Earth Goddess of Crops, Harvests, Agriculture and Fertility
Known as CERES to the Romans, she taught nomadic mankind how to plow the fields and settle down, thus making civilization possible. Very popular with the rural folk.
The daughter of CRONUS and RHEA, she is rather beautiful and was the object of many Gods’ affections. But she had a liaison with a mortal prince called Iasion by whom she had two children; PLUTUS, who went on to do well from a financial point of view, and PHILOMENUS who either went on the wagon or invented it.
ZEUS, who’d admired DEMETER from afar, was not happy. When DEMETER sloped off at a Godly Wedding to begin the fling thing, he flung a furious thunderbolt where Iasion happened to be standing. But before ZEUS could take advantage, the equally horny POSEIDON leapt in.
To escape, DEMETER changed into a mare and hid in the herd of King Oncus. But POSEIDON changed into a stallion and she didn’t resist. The result was ARION, a little horse who could speak and had feet. There was also a daughter named DESPOENA, who became something of an Eleusinian mystery.
Jealous ZEUS could stand it no longer and managed to pin DEMETER down for a liaison of his own. A daughter was duly born, the beautiful PERSEPHONE. Now it was the turn of HADES to be jealous. One day while PERSEPHONE was playing, the Earth swallowed her up.
When DEMETER found her daughter missing she became demented. Tearing her hair, she ran round in the dark with flaming torches, but could shed no light on what had happened. Then HELIOS, the Sun God and right old nosy parker, had a quick word in DEMETER’s ear. He’d seen everything and told her that PERSEPHONE was now the consort of HADES in the Underworld.
Weeping and wailing, DEMETER wandered far and wide. She refused to send as much as a postcard to the Gods and in her absence crops became crestfallen, wheat withered and livestock limped to a breeding halt. The Gods gnawed their fingers and beseeched her to return. But she refused to capitulate unless she could see her daughter.
One day she stopped for a breather on the palace steps of kindly King Celeus of Eleusis, who, not realizing who she was, employed the poor miserable creature as a nurse and didn’t ask for references.
Now who should be serving in the palace as a skivvy but IAMBE, the saucy daughter of PAN and ECHO. Her unflagging sense of humor managed to make DEMETER laugh at last.
DEMETER tended to Demophon, the son of King Celeus and Metaneira, who were amazed at how bonny the child became — and were even more amazed when they found DEMETER about to wrap him in flames.
She tried to explain this was only to make the child immortal — but they were not convinced until she turned on a bit of radiance and revealed her Godliness. Thereupon she was held in great esteem and installed in her own temple at Eleusis. Here she started her very own Secret Society and Mystery Club. It’s no good asking about it. Nobody knows. Not even HELIOS managed to peep through the keyhole.
She taught TRIPTOLEMUS, the eldest son of Celeus, to plow and sow and harvest, and gave him air miles vouchers for dragon-powered chariots to spread the news.
Meanwhile, the starving ZEUS sent HERMES to the Underworld for negotiations with HADES and PERSEPHONE. A mother and daughter meeting was agreed, but HADES had a trick in hand. Because PERSEPHONE had eaten the mystic Underworld pomegranates, she was tied to the realm of death. But a deal was struck and she was allowed out for half the year.
DEMETER was so pleased to see her that flowers bloomed and summer was born. But when PERSEPHONE was summoned back to HADES six months later, DEMETER became very depressed. Leaves fell off the trees and along came the first winter. And it’s been that way each year ever since.
ELECTRA(2)
Greek Ancestral Goddess
Pleiad mother of the first king of Troy
One of the PLEIADES, she was another ZEUS seduction resulting in Dardanus, first King of Troy, and Iasion.
She did try to fight ZEUS off, and hid behind the statue of the Palladium which ATHENA had installed. ZEUS threw it out of Heaven and it landed in Troy. The Trojans kept it as a lucky mascot. Bad choice.
The Romans made her the wife of a Prince Corythus, and for Dardanus Troy became Troad.
FATES
Greek Destiny Goddesses
Also known as MOIRAE, MOIRAI, THREE-FATES
The three old hags of Destiny and Fate
Otherwise known as the Moirae, these timeless old biddies weave the threads of destiny that control your life. The original spin doctors.
They are: CLOTHO who spins the Thread of Life, LACHESIS who allots the length of the yarn, and ATROPOS who does the snip (the final one).
All the good and evil that befalls you is woven into your destiny and cannot be altered even one jot. You may find this a little unfair, but it’s the stuff great Greek tragedies are made of.
As the daughters of primeval night deities EREBUS and NYX (though some claim that ZEUS and THEMIS should be held responsible), the FATES control the destinies of all. Even the Gods are subject to their decisions.
Under the Romans they became just as popular under the name PARCAE. Who could have foreseen that?
GAIA
Greek Goddess
Also known as GA, GAEA, GAIEA, GE
The one and only big vista Earth Mother Goddess
Born of CHAOS, she gave birth to PONTUS, the sea, and URANUS the sky. A cuddle or two with PONTUS resulted in the appearance of several bonus extra sea deities such as THAUMAS.
Then she married URANUS and became the unfortunate mother of the huge TITANS, the CYCLOPES and the HECATONCHIRES.
Her husband was shocked at the nature of their offspring, so to protect them all she decided to hide them. The best hiding place she could find was inside her own body. Which was terribly uncomfortable for all concerned. Luckily her youngest, CRONUS, came to the rescue armed with a large cutting tool.
But all that’s behind her now. She became best friends with HERA, giving her the Golden Apples of Immortality as a wedding present, and always gathered the utmost respect. As fertile as they come, her offspring also includes ACHERON, the God of Rivers, PYTHON, and who knows who else.
Nowadays, GAIA is a Big Mother in the New Age world. Symbolizing all that’s good with femininity, nature, fertility and spirit, she’s extremely popular with Pagans, Witches and all Earthy types.
HADES
Greek Death God
Also known as HAIDES
Dead good God of the Underworld
He’s the son of CRONUS and RHEA. When the family fortune was divvied up, he got the Underworld share while his brothers ZEUS and POSEIDON were given the Sky and Sea. There’s nothing wrong with nepotism as long as you keep it in the family. They even named the place after him.
Unlike many Underworld Gods, HADES is quite affable provided you treat him with respect. And although a dingy and dull place, Hades itself seems to be a very popular joint — Greek heroes are always nipping down there to rescue their mates or consult the dead.
But HADES doesn’t really approve of these shady goings-on. The Land of the Dead is supposed to be for the dead, alright? Even if you get past CHARON and STYX, there’s a whole team of demonic officials to fend off enquiries, including THANATOS, CHARON and HYPNOS. Watch out for their bureaucratic dead tape. And don’t eat any pomegranates or you’ll be trapped there like his wife PERSEPHONE.
HADES, known to the Romans as PLUTO, has an enormous guard dog named CERBERUS keeping watch on the entrance to the Underworld. The sign on Hell’s Gate does not read ‘Beware of the Dog’. It reads: ‘Beware of the Three-Headed Serpent-Maned Monster Hound with Slavering Jaws and Deadly Halitosis’. Very few people have ever tried to reason with it.
