I am the girl with too many questions, and very few answers. The girl who’s words only go so far, and the rest are lost in the world we call reality. I admire things with true beauty, which is hard to find these days. If I could do one thing, I would travel back one hundred years and live then. I don’t think I belong in this era. I wish things were simplistic and full of life again. I don’t really know who I am for I feel I don’t quite fit in. Music is a huge influence upon my life. with out it, I would find myself in a daze. I search for too many things that I know I will never find. I read books, and pay no attention to the ‘’real world’’ I’ll never be that girl that everyone stares at, I’ll be that girl who everyone ignores. And to be perfectly honest, I’m okay with that. I have nothing to prove. I am a sucker for romance. I wish I could tell people how I truly feel. I do have a heart and a personality. If you try to get to know me you will see. I am caring, compassionate, and maybe a little obsessive. I have few steady friends. You may think I’m immature or childish, But I am far from either. I have morals and ethics, values too. I’m not the girl I used to be. I have so much to say, but not the courage to share it. Some of the opinions that I express may be controversial, harsh, rude, bias, sexist, raciest, deep, wrong, right, yellow, black, green, and gold. No matter how you look at it, I’m one who speaks my mind. I have a mad obsession with Vampires... There has been a history of vampires in my bloodline, dating back to the 1700's. I have an obsession with blood, and biting- which my boyfriend doesn't appreciate much... But that's all fun and games. Ever heard of an energy Vampire? Well, that would be me, and my mother.. and so on. I can drain energy if I choose, sometimes involuntarily. I guess it just comes with the territory. I do respect all forms of art though. Some of my hobbies are drawing, and the study of music, but I’m nothing special. I love photography; I really do try. If you’re a true artist, I love you forever. I have an obsession with trees, if you draw me one, I may rape you. I have a guitar, and I’m learning to play it. I’ve been playing drums/percussion for close to six years now. My favorite smells are sulfur and gasoline. I’m a pyromaniac. I hate when people use the same words over and over again. I love to kick peoples backpacks, and look at people funny. If you’re sitting alone, I WILL come and talk to you. Sometimes I think I’m funny, but I‘m really not. I love drawing on my arms/legs. It amuses me. I’m a VF addict. If you don’t know what that is I hate you. I have a cell phone. I pay for it myself.If you ask for my number, I’ll probably give it to you(: I love to write, roleplay, do homework(Yes, only if it’s interesting though) and whore up online chat rooms. I don’t exactly have a favorite colour. If I had to choose one I would pick clear. If you’re thinking, wait. Clear is but the absence of colour, I don’t care. It’s more amazing than your favorite colour. I’m well aware that I spell colour the French way. I read, a lot. I love random jewelry, And someday I’m just going to go around and steal peoples clothes if I like them. I may come off as a bitch sometimes, but hey, not everyone's lives are fantastic. I hate the idea of a utopia. What would be the point of world peace? There wouldn’t be any history to learn other than; the bill for national smile and hug day was passed on… Get my point? I look up to many people in my life. Right now the person I have the most respect for is my grandmother. We don’t have a normal relationship. I can talk to her about anything, and she can talk to me about anything. I just wish I was as close to my mother as I am with her at times. I like ranting, and rambling(If you can’t tell) I would go on, but I think you get the point. I’m really an interesting person once you get to know me. It’s just getting to know me that is the tricky part. I can write about myself until the day I die, but I can never write, or talk about what’s really on my mind. So, I suppose I should wrap this up for now. Thank you for reading through this, if you did. You should let me know you now(:
I miss the way things were, the way my life used to be. But if you ask me if I regret anything, my answer will forever and always be no. Without my mistakes, my choices, my words... I would never be where I am now. Although I am not completely happy with my life, I can say that I am lucky. I have a family who loves me, no the less, a great boyfriend, a supportive mom, a great mind, friends who dominate the better half of me, and generally people who care deeply for me. Many times I thought that I was useless, worthless, a waist. Now, and only now I realize what life is here for. Life... Such a big word, isn't it? I am simple. I don't need technology to strive, books to read, or people to talk to. I simply am fortunate to be with these gifts. Someone once said to me- you will figure out who you are on the path to making yourself all you can be. Well thank you.
