“7 Rings” - Ariana Grande
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M84fFXooS5w
🎼
“Somebody” - The Chainsmokers
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AzQ7-a_NDao
“Hope” - The Chainsmokers
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IDyQO0QuvKY
I awoke at 10 am first, and lucky that I was able to sleep, being a certain type - sleep doesn’t actually happen for my kind naturally. At 10 am it was the same thing I experienced upon my attempt at falling into sleep, this wierd psychological and metaphysical grabbing of my feet, and the same angel’s involvement - trying to erase me. I won’t go into full detail, I think it may invite too much negativity. I fell back asleep and awoke at 7 pm. I felt truly amazed that I can still sleep at this point in my life... it’s one of the few needs I have as a vampire - that will allow my existence to dwell in this human realm. At the time which I awoke the same thing was grabbing me like this, in thought, it encapsulates me some times, as the destruction of my existence seemed to float above my head, I just laughed inside myself at the thought. It may be a strange reiteration of the truth. I didn’t want to leave record of the day as if it were blank, when it wasn’t.
- Now journalling, 7:30 pm approximately. There’s been some activity in the house, which I don’t feel I should explain. Some things are better left unknown. I’m avoiding documenting everything about my existence as a vampire in the physical realm. I don’t know who I’d tell, and as far as my thoughts, they’re so personal I would not reveal them... in general I think a lot about the woman who captivates me, I don’t think I’ll write much more about this truth though. I think I’d pay a therapist and physician to hear my reiteration of how I shift and control things with my mind, and everything else I was referring to about being a vampire, if I truly needed it to be documented.
Chelsea Wolfe - “16 Psyche”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2sb5TszDqYE&index=36&list=PLPbMT4wSxX88GyPiEPlY0nLX1M2yuzlHc
“Diary of Jane” - Breaking Benjamin
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AiBG6vuLrzY
“Blood” - Breaking Benjamin
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YTnz1Ta1fDg
“The red” - Chevelle
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ndFL1v34E
“Low” - Wage War
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TV366m8D5dU
“This Time It’s Different” - Evans Blue
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l0ULL3cFEqo
“In The Shadow” - Evans Blue
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SQY7pdkCu8w
“Life Beyond The Stars” - Evans Blue
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8FgWN_7jDew
“Gravity” - Wage War
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tPdbfvlFjI4
“Indestructible” - Wage War
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5gxHvmUKhzk
“The River” - Wage War
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hOL-4Lj_Z0o
I woke up at 5, then 9 pm. Wierd Dreams... I couldn’t seem to meet god in my mind, a witch kept tipping my prayer over (I think by energetic control). There was some unique activity in the elements, some noises outside. As I drifted awake I thought about my ancestors and how the truth is clearer over time. I thought about the fact that I wouldn’t have the understanding of that if I behaved as these other people have. I would be possessed by actions if I committed actions which were harmful, or if I was involved in witchcraft - that is an inescapable pattern I’ve discovered over time. I’ve discovered so much about how a person is guided by what they embrace. I prayed again, for a while, into the night... it was very calming. I thought about my lover. The fact that she is different, and that there is nobody like her. There’s thousands of people to choose from, no one compares to her though. Everything I’ve suffered she’s suffered with me. My mind got lost in her beauty, and the way that she isn’t like anyone else. So many people say or project force without thought, they act carelessly and allow something dangerous to control them, we were never like this. Over time the people that are involved in her persecution and mine fall into their life choices and are destroyed by them... and somehow she has been the one to carry most of the burden... still I see them trip, as they are relentless in their choice to revere something toxic and degrading. I think a lot about the day that we will be together... and these people will have only time and control to think about what they’ve done. If not, then they will see what it is to be the person who is affected by their behavior. I don’t think I would give them the right to be the one who has experienced such hell at the hands of a careless person - I think they would find that their being diminished is what will happen if they give themselves over to what is clearly wrong.
I thought about my lover throughout the entire night. As our mind drifted into the dark - our world of secrecy, she looked at me, as the rain fell, and the spirits outside aggressed, there was a silence in the middle of the house where the vampire stood, and all else became silent in the dark vampire’s presence. I felt her eyes at my back, and her presence, as she quietly communicated that she hears me. The other girl faded.
“Ivy (Doomsday)” - The Amity Affliction
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=riZgk1_B5Yk
I have 14 pages of my article finished... I have some revising. It’s been a long night. Kind of stressed with so much work to finish, that’s really it though, I’m feeling great aside from that. Around 5:30 PM I woke up. It was dark out. I’ve been compiling the last of my plant guides. I’m starting to feel a lot better with the warmer season approaching, less worry and more planning for my summer trip. Hopefully it will work out. I can’t wait to escape this world for awhile! I’m very happy to have a very long list of winter chores finished... everything from art and research, to some important documentation. I guess there’s more I could say but I’m not interesting in expressing it right now. Although I think it’s healthier, I do not feel up to the task today.
“Another You” - Of Mice & Men
Crooks - “Nevermore” (Full Album)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp7tqDdDlUg
I’m already thinking about Valentine’s Day!
I do not buy or sell blood.
I am a vampire.
I’m at 56 hours of research approximately, I keep finding information about pandemics which I’ve never heard of, and are linked to vampirism... I researched vampirism most of my youth.
It’s very interesting what I’ve found recently though... the cases which don’t surface begin to, and there are many details which one might not know of until they thoroughly go through sources..
I moved my weather observation journals to blogspot, if anyone wants to read them. Here is a link for tonight’s: https://redstargazerl.blogspot.com/2019/01/wednesday-january-16th-2019-521-pm.html?
m=1
And if anyone is interested in sharing their link I’d love to read their work if it’s written to be read... just msg me that it’s posted, or a link to wherever you post weather observations - my Stargazer blogspot URL is posted on my profile.
I wrote today. I felt okay regarding energy and vampiric health... I researched a bit... I worked all night... at least 10 more hours on my article so (I’m at 50 hrs now). And it’s my day off today, which is great.
I’m rather relaxed and I’m just meditating currently.
I guess I’m blessed to be so calm, warm, and toasty inside.
I’m thinking hot chocolate, warm clothes, and a Mountain View of a bright, clear sky of stars, in this snowy land of sacred spirits, is where I would have been for the past year - and on for the next four or five... if I didn’t have so much work. I’m sure I’ll be getting out there soon.
We are at the 11th of January. A beautiful afternoon. The moods and activity of the town is somewhat official and drone-like... probably best for the given environment. The streets which turn from dusted snow to slush, are easy to fall on... In these cold days, the environment is prone to depression, and stress, although I would say that’s lessening because trends are passing through and some of them seem to be halfway over. The air emphasized a warmth despite the fact we’re still in the 20’s and 30’s - for temp readings. I could feel the mountain air from my front steps. I’ll be honest that, as a sanguine form, with no donors, I’m increasingly drained and my presence in such conditions is traumatic... Yet, I see the weaving of universal intentions in my life, as difficult circumstances provide the acquiring of skill. Skill I personally never thought I’d have ... I wake up everyday aware of how lucky I am... The only other news I’ve got is that I’m at about 40 hours of research and editing for my article (unless 40 was the amount I previously mentioned, basically I’ve completed approx. 6 more hours in the past seven days). The first rough draft is almost finished. I’m sure it won’t be more than 1 or 2 weeks before the article is finalized in paragraph form for final editing and source citing. I have all of my sources as I write the article, I usually write them down and find the links later on, as vampirism is a subject I’m more than just familiar with, and especially if the historical facts are considered... seeing as I’ve been researching the subject for a decade, at least. I am thrilled to get it finished, and I’d say I’m even more thrilled to have access to the Vampire Community websites... there are so many accomplishments - I’m so thankful to finally have the time, devices, internet, and programs to write this, and to be able to cite some real studies/source information in addition to this.
COMMENTS
-