The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

As I sleep I feel her near me. Her chest rise and fall with eaven breaths. Her hair wilder than a tumbleweed across the plains. Her arms hold me close as I koss her head. She is my future. The one I know I can love forever. A little peice of me for generations to come. She is my moon, my ocean, and my sun. The reason I live everyday. She is the reason I wake up. My reason for life is HER.

As I sit here in the dark an wonder where my life will go. My beautiful baby girl asleep in her bed. And me. Watching the brigh glowing moon move across the sky, alone, is how I feel. But I know better than to think for a moment that I am really alone. For I know there are those who have nothing and no one. But to try and speak to my mother is like trying to bridge a language barrier between english and the native tribes in the amazon. Sometimes nit just doesn't happen. But yet here I am, forced to try and find a way to say how I feel and I get shut down. Then when I'm asked "are you ok?" I hold back the urge to dramarically roll my eyes. Because you know full well I am not ok. But I just look at you and say " no but does it really matter how I feel" and leave it at that. My feelings are worth nothing to you, they are starting to become so numb inside me that I myself wonder if I am ok or if I need to cry, or scream, or just continue to stay numb... I haven't felt happy in a long time... but yet poeple who see me think I'm the happieat person alive.. I don't really cry anymore, well.. I try not to anyways. Because when I do I can't stop. Is there something wrong with me? Is it normal to be afraid to cry? The worst part is I only want to cry when I'm forced to be........ ALONE.....