The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Depression is like climbing back up a well: you can see the light and you keep trying to climb closer to it, trying to hold on and keep your footing so that you can get out of the darkness. Unfortunately, you keep slipping, keep falling, keep losing your grip and the light fades again. It's like a never ending battle that you never really win. It's like having some terminal illness and going into remission: you know it never lasts and that when it comes back it will kick you on your ass and leave you wishing you never had one moment out of it because when you fall back into it, it hurts so much more because for a brief time, you actually got to feel what it's like not to want to di; to be able to see a razor or a knife and not want to pull it across your skin. It's exhausting and it hurts everywhere from the tension and the anxiety that tightens your muscles and from the lack of sleep. Sleep that u wake up shaking from horrible nightmares, that is, when you're able to fall asleep at all. Your head hurts from forgetting to eat or from refusing to eat because you feel you don't deserve the food or feel you need to punish your body more then your already doing. The worst part is, the whole time you're intentionally, gradually, tormentingly destroying yourself, some part of you knows exactly what you're doing, but that part of you never seems to be strong enough to stop you.