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yes. i want to say goodbye. i want to have my space, my own space without you. doesn't matter how long. i want to be alone.



there are so many things that happened betwen you and me. other people were unintentionally involved.



i am so tired of this all. of this repitiuous arguing and non stop fighting over your fickle topics. it is you who always start the fight but then you can manage to manipulate the situation and blame all the faults on me.



sometimes i feel that i just want to give up. to give us up. i am tired of everything going on between us. but then i always consider those moments that we're happy. those moments that we can laugh even there's nothing to laugh. i am holding on to those fun-filled memories, but i can't hold on forever to mere memories. i am not satiisfied with memories. i want you, i want us back to normal again.



but if going back to normal means we have to figh more everyday, then i can no longer hold us. i am way beyond my limit.



you always think about yourself, your emotion, everything about you.. you've changed. i don' know you anymore. i don't knw us. we are even honest with ourselves that we don't understand each other., and yet we continue us. how absurd!



you have changed me into something difficult to comprehend. i thought that you would be there for me till the end so i can run for help.. but you left me..



i am afraid at you. you are someone i don;t know anymore. you're not the person whom i loved.. yes you've changed - but for the worse.

I FELL.. I FALL.. I TRIPPED.. YET I STOOD TALL



AND TRIED TO FIGHT AGAINST THOSE DEEP-



SEETHED, NON-SENSE STUFF. DAYS COME AND



AS THOSE DAYS PASS ME BY, I PLAYED AS AN



INNOCENT CHILD PRETENDING THAT



EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE WAS WELL IRONED BUT



EVERY STEP I TAKE, EVERYDAY I BREATHE, I



REALIZED THAT IT'S ONLY MAKING MY AGONY



PROLONGED. I WAS NOT OVER WITH IT. THOSE



FULL OF PRETENSIONS DAYS THAT I THOUGHT



EVERYTHING'S FINE IS HAUNTING MY PRESENT



AND WILL CONTINUALLY HUNT MY FUTURE.



DURING THOSE DAYS THAT I PRETENDED, I TRIED



TO CHANGE SOMETHING. . . A LITTLE AND



SIMPLE THING TO DO AN ACT WHICH HAS AN



EASY OUTCOME. . .

remember i looked at u, u looked at me.



we had a love conection between us.



u told me u love me



i told u i love u



i gave u everything from me



u took all away



u had to leave me



u never said good-bye



but 2 years later i see u



i wrote to u



it said i love u



u said no



later then we never talk to each other



we just say hi or good-bye



5 months later u say i love u



but i moved one just like u did to me



well guess what ur the one with a broken heart



just like me

IM WISER NOW. . .



IM NOT THE FOOLISH GIRL YOU USE TO KNOW. . .



YES MAYBE YOU HAVE FOOLED ME FOR A LONG TIME. . .



BUT NOW, MY SENSE WOKE ME UP AND IT MDAE ME REALIZE THAT YOU ARE NOT THE MAN THAT I SHOULD BE LOVING. . .



I KNOW IT WILL TAKE ME SOMETIME TO BE ABLE TO MOVE ON FROM YOUR SPELL. . .



BUT WITH THE HELP OF MY MOTIVATION, I KNOW I CAN MOVE ON. . .

YOU WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART . . .



I LOVE YOU . . .

CAN YOU SEE ME? CAN YOU SEE MY HEART?



CAN



YOU SEE THE HOT TEARS FALLING FROM MY



EYES? CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART THROB? DO YOU



KNOW HOW YOUR ACTIONS HAVE PAINED AND



BRUISED ME? IT IS AS IF I WAS THROWN FROM



THE NTH FLOOR OF A BUILDING AND LANDED ON



THE FLOOR . . . STILL ALIVE BUT NEAR TO



DEATH. . . HEART PUMPIN HOWEVER TOTALLY



BRUISED AND SHATTERED. . .





HERE I AM AGAIN, CRYING AND SWELLING MY



EYES OUT WITH A WOUNDED HEART. . . I HATE



YOU LOVE! YOU MAYBE THE POWERFUL ELEMENT



YET YOU CAN BE THE MOST PERILOUS ONE. WHY



DO YOU LOVE TO HATE ME? WHY DO YOU



ALWAYS MAKE ME CRY? I DO ALWAYS TRY TO



ABIDE BY YOUR QUALIFICATIONS YET I END UP



BEING BEATEN AND WEAK. . .



I HATE YOU LOVE, INSPITE ALL MY EFFORTS



TO PLEASE YOU, IT IS STILL NOT ENOUGH. I DID



TRY TO EXTEND MY PATIENCE BUT IT SEEMS THAT



YOU'RE DEMANDING FOR MORE. THERE ARE



THOSE REPITITIUOUS AND DULL MOMENTS THAT



I TRY TO GET RID OFF AND IGNORE, BUT WHY IS



IT THAT YOU ALWAYS TORMENT ME WITH THOSE



MEMORIES? IT HONESTLY MAKES ME WEAK



EVERYTIME YOU DEMAND AN ANSWER FROM ME.



I WOULD WAN T TO RETORT AND DEFEND



MYSELF BUT I KNOW THAT NO MATTER HOW



LONG THE CONVERSATION MAY RUN, IT IS ME



WHO WILL CONCEDE AND GIVE IN. YOU ARE OVE



AND I AM NOTHING. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN



DO, SAY OR ACT BUT TO SUBMIT.

It's so hard to lose the one you love



To finally have to say goodbye



You try to be strong, but the pain keeps holding

on



And all you can do is cry



Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on



When the fairy tale that you once knew, is gone



When the last teardrop falls



I'll still be holding on, to all of our memories



And all of what used to be



When the last teardrop falls



I will stand tall, and know that you're here with



me in my heart



When the last teardrop falls



So now I'm alone



And life keeps moving on



But my destination still unknown (oh yeah)



Will there be a time when I fall in love again



Or am I just meant to walk these streets alone



If there was just one wish I could be granted

here tonight



It would be to have you right back by my side

Thinking. Can't stop thinking.

Think of you. This. That. That Life. That day.

That dream was mine.

A utopian dream.



Your aura; struck me like lightning to a tree.

Pointy, like a star, you shone.

So bright, yet not shining as a star would,

But as apparent as white chalk on a blackboard.

You would not show off like a star.

Yet you did burn so hot, so fiercely, so explosively -

you were a star in my eyes.



But like all stars, you died.

That gas was gone.

No pull between us.

The atmosphere was dry

and I began to choke.

I was taken from my star - like a child being taken from its poor,

drunken mother - I did not know what was happening.

Dazed. Confused. Without true reality, I there sat.

Wondering.



The end of my world had only just begun, with yours beginning.

yeah.. indeed true.



everytime you go away, there is a part of me that you tag along with.. unintentionally, though. it's not your fault.



should the pain i am feling be blamed on me alone? if you haven't come and penetrated my vulnerable heart anyway, i wouldn't be exposed to this undescribable pain right?



oh! whatever. looking for someone to be blame just adds insult to injury., and i don't have the enrgy to hurt myself more..



ami mking sense or what?? i dunno..



maybe someday i would be able to explain myself better and clearer, maybe with more emotions, if the pain will subside..



oh how i wish it would be soon..

why does your love one needs to go? let's put it



this way: why do you need to love the wrong



person? damn. what am i doing. i thought i was



over him, but why sudden change of emotion for



him., especially now that he has left - left for



good? i dunno. im so befuddled. can someone



help me clear my mind? can someone help me



make realize that i am not meant for that guy?



can just someone help me?



i shoudln't be acting this way anyway.. but



why? why am i so inlove with him? damn this



heart!



can you just imagine the torture that he has



caused me for the past, what, six years?? six



years he has been tormenting my heart



horrendously.



i know im already a fool for loving him so deep



and for so long that i become so concentrated



only at him. but what can i do??



and i dont even know if i am talking sense here.



just hoping to let m move on from him. . .



i dunno what spell he used to capture me like



this.



. . . . i love you



. . . . goodbye?



. . . . let's see



. . . . sigh