can you tell someone you love them if its only going to hurt them. i dont know what to say to her and i cant stop thinking about her. she has my heart and allways will. i want to tell her that i love everything about her. only she is with another guy who she is happy with, im not jelous aslong as she is happy. she wanted me to say what was on my mind but i could not say it. i needed to say it and i wanted to say it but i care for her too much to make her feel bad about herself and if doesnt make scence its because im having a mental battel and can not think straight.
there is no use in geting your hopes up about anything, it all comes down and fucks you over in the end. hope is supose to be something to look foward too, but yet it never happens. if someone knows why people hope or feel like arguiing about it message me but there is no use to it. hope will allways let you down in the end and fuck up your life. it screws everything up from the weekend plans to lost loves. why do people rely on something so weak and pointless. the only thing hope can be good for is to let you down and send you to the shit hole plces in your head where we hold all false hope. but what happens when that place is filled? do you just stop to hope or does it overflow in to everything and consume you in deep depression where all you do is hope and it lets you down. hope, what good is hope when all it does is let you down all the time? my hope ha... i tried to stop hopeing long ago but fore some reason it still lets me down and hurt me but why should it not everthing else has......
well i woke up today depressed and just wanted to be alone. in going to school my step-mom wanted to make conversation so i just noded my head and stayd away from eye contact. when i finaly got to school i usualy go to my spot where ther is nobody aroun and meditate, but i had to give somebody headphones. so i gave this guy some headphones and left for my spot, but he dicided to fallow and talk to me. so once agin i noded my head and tried to avoid eye contact. but he didnt take the hint. i went anyways but just before i could get to my spot i was stoped by some more people who wanted to give back a cd and want another one. witch was cool but then they asked some questions about it and i didnt feel like talking so i just said i dont know. i finaly was going to my spot with headphones guy still fallowin and got about 10 yards away and the fucking bell rang to go to class. i go and sit in class and listen to music to drown out all the loud mouth preps and jocks, and read my book. i have less than a 100 pages on this book ive been reading scince the beging of the year and im not a slow reade its just the book is 1463 pages long and very elabrate. well i get 2 pages in and people want to ask me how to do something, and after that they want to talk and wont let me read. well finaly i go to my 2 class and it is filled with even more imiture little punk ass bitches, but they dont like me so they leave me alone. i read all class period and wemt to the next class witch was ok wee watched a movie but it was stupid. next i had gym and wanted to be alone but some how i got hit in the crotch 2 times and was finaly left alone after i pissed off one persone and left the others.........it was a shitty day and that was only till noon. it only got worse after that.
humas are very predictable. you tell them not to do something and 83% of the time they will do it. i have been preforming experaments on diffrent humans and studying the diffrent behaveiors of each individual. the main diffrence is in the age group. although the younger generations seems to be more openminded they still falow a patern of taking orders from the superiours. while the older generation refuses to change and accept the fact that they are dieing off.
today i met someone special who for the first time i could open up to. she means alot to me although i just met her. i know nothing but a lot about her and hope to speak to her again. if she reads this then i hope she knows how much she means to me. you are someone special and you should know that. for being there for me, i think you and love you.
talking only gets you into trouble. people want to hear the truth but inly if its good. if its something hurtful they dont want to hear it. that sucks for honest people.
COMMENTS
-