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well nothing realy intresting happend today. i think i might be going crazy. for some reason iv had this evil little smirk on my face allday and have a craving for human flesh. i want a mace, it is like my alltime favorite weapon. to bash a blunt object into sombodys torso. the sound of shatering bone and the sight of flesh being ripped away by the power of the blow. see this is what ive been thanking about all day. am i going crazy?

i was at work today and that gives me alot of time to think. i let my mind roam although i know i shouldnt. usualy when that happens it tends to roam into the darkest parts of my soul. i dont know why i am the way i am. im too careing and kind to be in this hatefull world. when i was younger i was allways bullied, and now that im older and able to take care of myself i try to help others. its a pointless act with everybody i help i dont think they even thanked me. all the pain of my childhood is still baried deep inside me. when i get depressed i like the feeling and through myself into it. it makes me feel good in a bad way. im a loner i dont like to be around big crouds because we superior humans act like a bunch of animals gaining up on the weakest one and devouring him until he snaps. the ones who dont gang up just stand back and watch for the thrill of it. it all makes me sick. i try to help the weak but they need to learn to take care of themselfes. that is the only way they will earn respect, and that is what this world has lost RESPECT.

well i feel beter knowing i didnt screw up anything between two people. i still think people need to keep thier mouths shut, but im one of those people who think talking only gets you in trouble. but all in all i think my life is inproving but its the weekend and time with my famialy is what usualy gets me down. for some reason i dont think i can ever please then. so i just gave up trying. but hey i have the blade and my wrists to keep me busy.

vrolokellen and her boyfriend broke up and i feel bad cuz i may of had something to do with it. allthough i didnt do any thing stupid people talk about things and people they do not know. I just feel bad he was a friend and one of the very few i would call a friend and now i think i ruined a friendship and a relationship. i hate it when people talk shit about things they dont know. i was in deep depretion and she qas being a good friend trying to help me out, and people took it the wrong way.well i dont know what else to say but I'm SORRY!!!

there is no god. if ther was this allmighty god would he let us suffer with all this touture and pain in the world. the bible is nothing but bullshit, it conjudicts its self. we make are oun choices with no other influnces. so the pope died its about time that old sick bastered passed away.

I am a failer. Everyday i am reminded of that. i constantly go through the days and see all the people with hope and dreams, hopeing im there to see them come crumbeling down infront of them. if you look forward to nothing you will never be disappointed.