Romantic weekend from hell!13:53 May 30 2011
Times Read: 575
So this weekend, I plan this awesome romantic weekend with my boyfriend.
Ya' know, to reconnect and what not. We've been going through a rough patch, to say the least. But 3 years isn't something I want to throw away, that and I'm a sucker for punishment. I don't know what i was thinking really. He has recently developed a liking to any substance that will take him to another place. Anything that's going. Well not everything agrees with him as well as he likes to believe. I mean whats the point of getting off your face in order to forget everything if you're just going to be the worlds biggest prick?
So more to the point about this romantic weekend.
I go out blow most of my pay on bits and pieces for the weekend.
I book a nice local hotel room, with a big bed and a kick ass spa.
Pretty myself up. Put in as MUCH effort as I can.
All he has to do is pick me up at 5pm Friday for a surprise.
7pm hits, his not here, not answering his phone, not replying to my text messages.
At this point I'm ready to just throw in the towel. I mean whats the point?
I know its not gonna fix anything, but what other choice do i have?
He FINALLY gets to my place at 7:30pm. What a relief i think as he pulls in the driveway.
He walks in and throws a smart ass comment my way about dressing up.
Yeah, like he was ever gonna appreciate it.
I can handle him not commenting on it or anything.
But a smart ass comment really?
I brush it off, things are gonna be alright.
I grab my bags and put them in his car and we head off to the hotel.
He seems pretty happy that we are staying in a hotel instead of at my place.
A little relaxation can't do anyone any harm.
As we pull into the place we are staying, he ends up hitting another car.
Not badly but enough for a decent dint.
It wasn't until that point I had to ask why he was so late and so outta it.
Needless to say he was at his best mates place all day drinking and what not.
At least he showered before picking me up right? Yep I'll take any form of effort as a glimmer of hope.
We get into the hotel room, his obviously shitty from the accident. Great start.
I decide that the sooner I get all of this shit off my chest the better.
But i clam up, So dinners the next best thing.
After dinner I decide I'm still not ready so I go shower and chuck something a little more 'comfortable' & light a few candles.
Well I can't complain about the effort that he still applies to our sex life. But that's better left unsaid here, but we finish and he gets straight up, grabs his wallet and goes to the bathroom for a fix.
That's it, I need to say something before I lose my nerve completely.
I ask him to come sit down with me, we need to talk.
So we start talking and he starts getting edgy and snappy.
But this needs to be said. I knew I should have just stopped and not fueled the fire.
But I keep going, after a good hour of arguing and what not I finally scream out at him that he stops the drugs or I leave. He laughs. He fucking laughs.
Apparently he doesn't need me in his life if I am gonna tell him what he can and can't do.
Whats happened to me? He asks. I used to be so laid back.
By this point I'm a mess. I am so sick of fighting. It's all that we have been doing for the past 6 months. He just gets so damn arrogant and argumentative.
We argue for a good hour after this. I plead to him to stop for his own sake, not mine. He gets up and walks towards me, grabs me and goes to kiss me. I move my face and he grabs me tighter. Tight enough i can feel it start to bruise. I push him away. He swings at me and before i have a chance to move out of the way his fist collides with my face. All the times his gone to hit me, and walked away. He finally didn't this time. He finally did it.
I go to pack my shit and leave. He begs me to stay. He loves me. He needs me. He wants me. He didn't mean to hit me. His sorry.
What do I do? I put my arms around him and try comfort HIM!
Finally he breaks down and starts to talk to me. Not argue.
But talk. Is there hope? Should i stay? or should i just walk away?
Then he drops the bombshell.
A month ago he had finally saved up enough money to go out and buy me a ring.
He was going to propose on our 3 year anniversary which was 24th of April.
He got desperate to pay back some guy he owed money too and needed cash to buy himself something to 'relax'. Well he PAWNED the ring.
He chose a quick fix over the start of our future. Why? He couldn't answer that.
But hey, at least we reconnected, right?
He says his gonna try stop. I'm skeptical. But I'll stick around. I like to think I'm stronger than this. But I'm not. Truth is, I'd be lost without him.
Well lets all see how we go, Shall we?
COMMENTS
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NewMoon
08:48 Jul 16 2011
your wasting your time lol he wont change once an addict always an addict and if life was so great he wouldve already quit to save the relationship plus why would anyone be with a guy in the first place if he hit you? Thats just insane.