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I wish that I could still cry.

It used to be so easy.

I can't anymore.

Everything is so much harder than it used to be.

I'm sick of expecting things from people, but not wanting them to expect anything of me.

I really do hate myself.

I hate everyone else too though.

As I watch the selfish ones around me, I feel the urge to vomit.

At least I'm not as bad as them, right?

Wrong. I am, I'm just as bad, or worse.

I wish things weren't the way they are. The world is so sad, and depressing.

People always say, "Look at the sunny side of life,"

The sun is a huge, burning ball of gas, and the only reason we aren't all destroyed by it is because it's too far away.

That's not very bright. Honestly.

Know what love is? It's a chemical. A drug.

But weed is illegal.

Why isn't love illegal? Because, it can be marketed at great value.

This isn't a democracy. It's a fucking hypocrisy.

Don't do this. Don't watch me while I do what I tell you not to do! That would expose me for the fraudulent, whore monger that I am!

It's all bullshit.

Did I mention I hate myself? Why can't I just be a sheep? Who follows weakminded fools... I wish I could just be content in all the bullshit.

I wish I could just die, because there's no such thing as always being happy. I wish I could always be happy. If there was a big fucking happy button. I would be pushing it constantly. But that would likely do some sort of damage. We must suffer, as a species.

I want to puke.

And you might be thinking... "Wow, this guy is really depressed, what the fuck is up with him?" Or, "This guy is some fucking Emo wannabe, bastard," To the first... I'm not really sure. Maybe it's because my whole life turned out to be nothing like I thought. I was protected, when I was young. So later... life didn't just slap me in the face... it raped me in the fucking asshole.

Most people like me kill themselves. I'm "lucky" that I haven't. I can't stand to hurt other people.

Some ex-girlfriends would say that that's bullshit. Well, fuck you bitches. You struck first.

"Let's have sex," she said, "You know you want to,"

No... no, I didn't want to. I didn't want to at all. I knew that you wanted to, so I complied.

So anyway, two life wracking years later. I end it completely, and utterly.

Great.

You know, it would be pathetic that I'm talking to myself, online, no less, where noone is even going to read this... except that the only people I have to talk to, is my family.

They're good people, don't get me wrong. But they don't like to hear depressing shit. I spew depression.

Maybe I should get some medication. Maybe they'll give me some shit that makes me not feel the world.

The world is a bitch.

I'm sure all of you know that.

If you read this, all the way through. I don't know what to say. I'm not really grateful. Woohoo, you read the damn thing. Good job. Now, if you wanna talk, I'm cool with that. I need all the moral support I can get.

Sincerely,

The Cat

COMMENTS

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foreveranangelicvampire
09:06 Jun 18 2010

wow sad but good

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Fuck you. Fuck yourself. I hate you.

I wish I didn't have to be you.

I wish that I could kill myself.

I'm so fucking selfish.

I don't want to rhyme.

I want to fucking die.

Yea, I sort of rhymed, but it won't calm me down.

YOu think you're the only one who gets mad?

Think you're the only one who has uncontrollable anger?

You have no idea.

I could kill a fucking bear.

I don't want to talk to anyone.

Man, shut the fuck up.

Man, please, shut the fuck up, I don't want to talk to anyone.

I want to sulk, and yell, and cry. You dont know me.

Noone knows me. If anyone knew me, they'd want nothing to do with me.

I guess I wouldn't want anything to do with anyone else if I knew them either.

No big deal. Why the fuck am I so non-chalant. I just want to die. No pain. Without a cry.

Just wish it would end. Like, pull the plug, and then I'm dead.

Nope, it's not that easy. Got brought into this world, kicking, and screaming. I guess that's the way you've gotta go out.

Because, I'm ignoring everyone. I don't want to talk to anyone.

Brian, Brian, Brian. I fucking hate that name.

Let my dad keep it.

I don't give a fucking shit, don't give a fucking shit man.

Yea, Aaron thinks that. Seth thinks it too. You don't know them.

I don't know them, but I know them more than you do.

I'd rather text, cause with text, you don't have to care. You don't have to give a shit.

You don't know what care is. It's when you give your fucking whole heart, when you fucking apologize.

No, some people are just above apologies. Like, apologizing is too fucking...

Randomly? It's not random. It's been bottled up inside.

I still don't want anything to do with you.

Not getting more angry. I already am angry, at you, at me, at everyone. At the world.

Ignoring you, it's making you not talk so much. I don't even want to hear your voice.

You know how you freak out? When you're mad? I just want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. But no, they won't, they want to see what's up.

I don't want to hear your voices. Nobody, none of you fucking assholes. You hypocritical fuckers.

I don't want to hear it. It'll be okay, and all that bullshit. It won't be okay. I've lied to people and told them that too. But it's still a fucking lie, even when I say it, because it won't be okay.

COMMENTS

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foreveranangelicvampire
09:07 Jun 18 2010

makes me want to hug you

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