I'll never learn22:35 Sep 21 2007
Times Read: 767
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I like to think that I have learned from most (or at least a few) of them. Many of my mistakes were made because I acted on a whim, something mischievous that I knew better than doing, but did anyway. I really thought I had outgrown this self-destructive tendency, but apparently not.
I was traveling on business and had a late return flight scheduled so that I could enjoy my trip, do a little sight-seeing, and return at my leisure. My business partner called me and told me that he had scheduled meetings for me back home and I needed to get back ASAP. I called the airport and found, sure enough, that earlier flights were available for me. I raced to the airport, dropped of my rental car, and hurried to the ticket counter. I asked if the next flight to Dallas was still available and the ticketing agent said that it was going to start boarding in about 10 minutes, so I had plenty of time to catch the flight. He printed my new boarding pass and I headed off towards the security check point.
I did the traveler-thing: emptied my pockets, took off my shoes, held my boarding pass in my teeth as I dumped everything into the tray and pushed it towards the x-ray machine. I was motioned-through by the security personnel who reached for my boarding pass and asked how I was. I replied that I was having a great day, having just made my flight, and I passed through the metal detector without a buzz or bell or flashing lights. The security personnel told me it was my lucky day. I thanked him and tried to move past when he motioned me towards the “strip search” area. I looked at him askance. He said it was routine. I glanced at the departure time on my ticket and thought, what the hell. I still have plenty of time. And this is no place to raise a fuss.
I stood on the peanut-shaped spots on the floor and raised my arms as directed. A big kid, evidently just out of college, was being trained. The look on his baby face showed that he was obviously nervous. I was probably the first passenger he had screened, and he was having some difficulty remembering the lines he was supposed to recite while he passed the metal-detecting wand over my extremities.
He had actually broken out in a sweat by the time he got to the point where he passed the wand over the front and back of my torso. When he was standing in front of me, his face scant inches from mine and our eyes met, it happened. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t resist. I put on my best “I-know-something-that-you-don’t” smile and asked quietly, “Did they tell you what to do if you find something?”
I barely made my flight.
COMMENTS
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Requiem
23:32 Jul 27 2011
I have been so tempted to do this, or to pack 18 different kind of weird dildos in my carry on. 9 out of 10 times I am selected by my airline for "special attention."
They must know me better than I thought.