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Faeries are a welcome creature in my life, they seem to bring blessings. The only true soles I seem to find in my life is music and the world I weave within my mind and many role plays I do with friends. I have had a very intresting role play going on with my friend Dante for three years and we seem to never run out of ideas. It has vampires, demons, elves, dragons and many more creatures. I put so much of myself into my charactors that I share their emotions frequently. More often then not I wish I was that particular charactor. I also feel a longing or need for relief from what we call life. It just seems no matter how hard I try nothing ever seems to work out.



I have been staying with my brother-in-law for the past week and we have to leave soon. It just makes me feel like I'm pretty much worthless having to live off the charity of others, and I detest it. I look at my little boy and it feels like I have failed him. He's happy and I know he doesn't know whats going on and I'm so grateful for that. Alot of the time I think he might just be better off without me. I know it might not be true, but I'm just so down on myself right now. I just wish for once that things would go right, you know they way things should be? Sorry I know I'm rambling and totally unloading. I'm sorry it just feels like I can talk to you. I don't have anyone else I can talk to.....~wipes away some escaped tears~ I think the thing that makes it the worst is not being able to find a job because of the economy now a days.....~sighs sadly~ I just don't know, I'm sure you have either been in similar situations or seen the same type of situations. I'm hanging in there, barely, but I'm trying.......