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How long i waited for the person who could relieve me from the vortex and thought i found

swore to me she loved me and would never leave.

How much i believed and loved her for it.

But even a happy story has a bad ending.

At least in my case happiness never can exist.



Hanging on to the dreams of yesterday. Waiting for my relief to come back.

I sit in my computer chair wondering if she will ever come.

Eternity seems to slip by and not a word from her.

Typing this tears stream down my face for the wound is still as fresh as it was when she did leave.

Hoping ... Waiting Yearning for my relief.



But its too late. i can never love again. my heart as lost and it has always been.

i drift into eternity lonely.

i slip back into my vortex.

spiraling into its decaying chaos.

i shall never love again.



The pain is to unbearable.

i shall never love again.....

The thought of this makes me wonder what life is truly worth

to be without the only one i have truly loved is to not exist

and so i cant help but feel that i shouldn't.

to slip into great eternal slumber would be to easy.



for i must suffer in this life until insanity drives me

through daily tasks as i contemplate driving on the wrong side of the road.

just to see what happens.

my life is once again a spiraling vortex of decaying chaos.

as i drift through eternity alone.

i bear the weight of the vortex for it is all i can do.



i shall never love again.

moments pass as if time is standing still.

i yearn for the one i can never have.

every song i hear reminds me of her.

she wants nothing to do with me.

broken up inside i wait for a reply.



nothing is coming.

and so tears streaming from my eyes i am alone.

with no single person to talk to.

the only one is her.

she wants nothing to do with me.

she broke my heart and i hers.



standing a snow balls chance in hell.

i try to reach her.

still no reply.

i hurt her and regret ever second of it.

lonely and broken i plee.

with no response

no remorse

no feelings left.



i hurt her and regret ever second of it.

lonely and broken i plee.

i am alone.

i slip back into my meaningless blip of an existance.

battered and bruised from the mere thought that i will never have what i desire.

every song reminds me of her.

every song reminds me of the way i talked to her.

of the way i treated her.



i hurt her and regret every second of it.

lonely and broken i plee.

the thought of never holding her in my arms kills me inside.

the loneliness drives the insanity that moves me.

through daily tasks that were once easy.

everything becomes a chore.

every fiber of my being yearns for her.



i am alone.

there is nothing i can do about it.

having loved and lost is worse than having never loved at all.

i am broken.

the only one who completes me ive hurt.

i regret every second on my being.

without her i am nothing.

without her i am broken.

without her......i cannot exist.