Xzavier's Vampire Journal

Xzavier's Journal

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7 entries this month

← Nov 2011

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20:49 Dec 30 2011
Times Read: 731

Like I said earlier this kind of anorexia really sucks but my weight finally seems to have stabilized and I think I've even gained a little.

I've been trying really hard to make sure I take the appetite med (Megace) everyday and I went to the store and bought some simple to cook but tasty and high calorie foods.

Yesterday I had hot wings, sausage, cereal, hash browns & gravy, 1 "nutrional drink", toast and some snacks. I think it came to around 1,000cal for the day which is a few hundred more than I had been eating for the past 2 weeks or so.

I'm not going to focus on every calorie or weigh myself every day because it becomes an obstacle and if I were to drop a little weight in between then it could derail me. So I'll just try to enjoy eating and weigh myself once a week.

On a different topic, my shoulder hurts lol

COMMENTS

Requiem
16:36 Dec 31 2011

♥ I am glad you are working through this positively. :)

(And - Quit smacking your shoulder on stuff :P)

07:19 Dec 28 2011
Times Read: 734

Personal update.

I had 2 MRI's last week, one of my back and the other my neck. I got the results today. The lumbar MRI showed L5/S1 having mild degeneration with a small disk bulge. For my cervical spine disks C1/2, C4/5 and C5/6 all have some degree of degeneration. I have no clue what happened to my neck but I have been getting more headaches. My lumbar spine is the thing causing a great deal of the pain when it's compressed like with standing.

In general things are mild but anytime pressure is applied the pain can quickly become unbearable. I remember during the last week I was able to work (4 years ago) by the time lunch came around I had taken like 3-4 oxy pills, basically one an hour, and even after that I had to leave to lie down.

Thankfully today I'm on better meds but learning this new stuff with my neck is a little worrisome. My neck doesn't hurt generally but sometimes, especially on the right side, the muscles will start contracting and I'll end up with a very stiff neck and a horrible headache. And other times I'll swallow and suddenly it feels like all the tendons in my throat and around my face tense up and it's really frightening and hurts. The only way it stops is if I stop swallowing (even to get rid of regular saliva amounts), rest my head in a certain position and just wait as it relaxes.

I never had any injuries, no crashes or anything and I don't recall my youth being too terribly strenuous so I guess I was just blessed with a spine that doesn't like me.

COMMENTS

10:09 Dec 16 2011
Times Read: 757

I have symptomatic anorexia and it's time I admite that. Basically living alone isn't helping, I simply don't/or wont cook food for myself. So, I think I'm going to have to stay with my aunt for a while. She said she's giving me a room in her house anyway just if I ever wanted to stay and I do. I can't or won't fix this alone so I gotta get someone to help me if I want any chance of getting better and gaining weight.

COMMENTS

Requiem
06:57 Dec 19 2011

I wish you strength.