Taking a break from my usually depressing entries I decided to write about the nickname my boy gave me.
About a month ago he called me cupcake, over a text, jokingly. I didnt know it was a joke but something about it I really liked so I decided to keep it hehe. Anyway anytime he tells me he loves me or does something to tick me off he will always call me "his lil cupcake" and it always puts a smile on my face.
Today however I came up with a "reason" why I'm cupcake. Just like a cupcake I'm sweet, moist (hehe), small (only 130lb) and you always want more...
I thought it was a cute idea so poof there it is.
--X
Once again I find myself unable to get a decent nights rest. For the past few months (5 or so) I have had very vivid dreams which always has me waking up in the morning out of breath. However the past 4 months I have been dealing with the additional "Sleep Paralysis Awareness" meaning I will find myself waking up in the middle of the night unable to move, having difficulty breathing and feeling numb and tingly all over. Well I thougt that was enough until about 3 months ago when I pretty much stopped sleeping for around a month.
Now on top of all that I am now waking up some 2-5 times a night. I began to take an extra one of my pills to help me sleep and while it puts me to sleep faster I still wake up. Tonight from 5pm-1am I took a total of 8 for a dose of 40mg of this particular med. And I am well awake now at 4am. All of this coupled with the general stresses of joblessness and the worries of either MS or SDS is really starting to both piss me off but also increase the duration of my "major depresive events."
Usually I am rather good at maintaining my emotional status and coming up with ways to correct any problem I come accross but now I find myself literaly losing faith in my own life. Not to the point of suicide but to the point of utter and total apathy.
Well at least there was one good thing that happend today. I was givin the chance to join Mikhail's Coven, the Coven of Extreme Rainbows, which of course I did. I've known Mikey for a relativly long time and have found him to be a great guy, he even included me in his "Hall of Hawt" which I am still blushing over *hehe*.
Anyways I am the Coven's Detail Master which allows me to not only let out creativly but also deal with the orgazational issues which arises in all Covens over what pages to build, how to and content. Needless to say Im rather happy over this :)
My special little boy from Indiana keeps putting smiles on my face with his, well, with his loverly self and personality; not to mention the incredibly naughty things he says to me. I know as long as I've got him and all the other great people both from VR (you know who you are) and in my "real" life I can keep going. Sometimes it's just a bit hard.
Oh well I suppose I'll try that whole sleeping thing again.
Night All,
-X
I liffted this from Cancer's journal, hope he doesn't mind :)
From: Austinwoods
Date: 13:43:41 Sep 13 2006
Wtf is wrong with u people!? This website is fucked up... little baby Jesus does not like this website! Your prob going to hell now..., Have a nice day ;)
There have been several reports on this so I thought I'd share this unbelievable story with you.
The large dark blue regions are the areas of trash.
Click on the image for story source.
At the start of the Academy Award-winning movie "American Beauty," a character videotapes a plastic grocery bag as it drifts into the air, an event he casts as a symbol of life's unpredictable currents, and declares the romantic moment as a "most beautiful thing."
To the eyes of an oceanographer, the image is pure catastrophe.
In reality, the rogue bag would float into a sewer, follow the storm drain to the ocean, then make its way to the so-called Great Pacific Garbage Patch - a heap of debris floating in the Pacific that's twice the size of Texas, according to marine biologists.
The enormous stew of trash - which consists of 80 percent plastics and weighs some 3.5 million tons, say oceanographers - floats where few people ever travel, in a no-man's land between San Francisco and Hawaii.
Marcus Eriksen, director of research and education at the Algalita Marine Research Foundation in Long Beach, said his group has been monitoring the Garbage Patch for 10 years.
"With the winds blowing in and the currents in the gyre going circular, it's the perfect environment for trapping," Eriksen said. "There's nothing we can do about it now, except do no more harm."
The patch has been growing, along with ocean debris worldwide, tenfold every decade since the 1950s, said Chris Parry, public education program manager with the California Coastal Commission in San Francisco.
Ocean current patterns may keep the flotsam stashed in a part of the world few will ever see, but the majority of its content is generated onshore, according to a report from Greenpeace last year titled "Plastic Debris in the World's Oceans."
The report found that 80 percent of the oceans' litter originated on land. While ships drop the occasional load of shoes or hockey gloves into the waters (sometimes on purpose and illegally), the vast majority of sea garbage begins its journey as onshore trash.
That's what makes a potentially toxic swamp like the Garbage Patch entirely preventable, Parry said.
"At this point, cleaning it up isn't an option," Parry said. "It's just going to get bigger as our reliance on plastics continues. ... The long-term solution is to stop producing as much plastic products at home and change our consumption habits."
Parry said using canvas bags to cart groceries instead of using plastic bags is a good first step; buying foods that aren't wrapped in plastics is another.
After the San Francisco Board of Supervisors banned the use of plastic grocery bags earlier this year with the problem of ocean debris in mind, a slew of state bills were written to limit bag production, said Sarah Christie, a legislative director with the California Coastal Commission.
But many of the bills failed after meeting strong opposition from plastics industry lobbyists, she said.
Meanwhile, the stew in the ocean continues to grow.
The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is particularly dangerous for birds and marine life, said Warner Chabot, vice president of the Ocean Conservancy, an environmental group.
Sea turtles mistake clear plastic bags for jellyfish. Birds swoop down and swallow indigestible shards of plastic. The petroleum-based plastics take decades to break down, and as long as they float on the ocean's surface, they can appear as feeding grounds.
"These animals die because the plastic eventually fills their stomachs," Chabot said. "It doesn't pass, and they literally starve to death."
The Greenpeace report found that at least 267 marine species had suffered from some kind of ingestion or entanglement with marine debris.
Chabot said if environmentalists wanted to remove the ocean dump site, it would take a massive international effort that would cost billions.
But that is unlikely, he added, because no one country is likely to step forward and claim the issue as its own responsibility.
Instead, cleaning up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is left to the landlubbers.
"What we can do is ban plastic fast food packaging," Chabot said, "or require the substitution of biodegradable materials, increase recycling programs and improve enforcement of litter laws.
"Otherwise, this ever-growing floating continent of trash will be with us for the foreseeable future."
How to help
You can help to limit the ever-growing patch of garbage floating in the Pacific Ocean. Here are some ways to help:
Limit your use of plastics when possible. Plastic doesn't easily degrade and can kill sea life.
Use a reusable bag when shopping. Throwaway bags can easily blow into the ocean.
Take your trash with you when you leave the beach.
Make sure your trash bins are securely closed. Keep all trash in closed bags.
Trash is also a problem in parts of San Francisco Bay. For an interactive map showing some of the worst locations, go to www.savesfbay.org/baytrash.
- Justin Berton jberton@sfchronicle.com
For those who may not know I have been involved with politics since I was 15. I have been interviewed for TV specials, organizational papers and so for my involvement in groups both local and international.
This election is perhaps one of the most important in American history. We have to make the choice rather to continue a global agenda or maintain our Constitutional Sovereignty. For the past 140 years we have slowly moved away from the rule of law and closer to what can only be descirbed as a socialist state, however since 9/11 we have taken a nose dive into fascism.
Like all Americans I was deeply affected by 9/11 and had several good friends at the Pentagon. The nation and the world demanded action and Pres. Bush and the Congress acted in the way they felt best defended and vindicated our Nation. However soon after, certian individuals in our government took the low-road and began to prey on our fears and manipulated Congress to pass such communistic laws as the "Patriot Act". As one Senator put it "We had just been attacked and wanted action fast, we didn't have time to read it but with a name like the Patriot Act how could I vote no?"
Thankfully we have seen the error in our decisions and are beginning to make things right at least at home. Unfortunatly we have adopted the position of "preimptive war". The notion of attacking beofre being attack not only is un-Christian and un-Constitutional but nearly all of our leaders have warned against is, " Preimptive war is the relm of rouge states" (paraphrase) -Eisenhower. How one-sided is our logic when we invade a nation and bring peace at the end of a gun and preach the message "If you don't become free and open like us, we're going to kill you". It boggles my mind to think that we truly believe that we have the right to force our selves on othr countries without thought on how we would feel if the ame was done to us.
Of course we have the right to go after those who attacked us but we do not have the right to make war on organizations or ideas no do we have the right to invade without a decleration of war.
Anyway I'm going to get to the good stuff. Ron Paul who is the only true Constitutionalist runnin for president has today raised nearly $6 million today alone and $18 million in this quarter. My hopes are lifted to see such an out pouring of support from Americans of all backgrounds.
There is an idea amongst the media that Dr. Paul has no support and his "online" sucesse is due to "Paul Spammers" well I say you can not spam $18 mill in cold hard cash and it's difficult to belive the notion that he has no support when he has had nearly 200,000 donors this quarter. Not to mention the most active duty military donations than any other Rep. candidate.
This election will decide our futures for generations from taxes to immigration to national security we must find the candidate that will not only "promise" to do whats best but one who has had over 20 years in House of Reps/ proving he will.
Vote Ron Paul
Vote Hope for America
www.RonPaul2008.com
I had my 3rd MRI of my brain today, 5th total, in Nashville. Usually these are done with contrast material however the one today was without the contrast.
It went smoothly and lasted some 30 minutes. I will know the results the 7th of Jan 08 when I go back to my Dr.
For those who don't know let me bring everyone up to speed as to my health.
I have had migraines my entire life however the past few years I have been developing an increasing number of symptoms, none of them related to the migraines. These include slurred speech, lower back pain, numbness and mild memory loss (just to name a few) And I've been seeing several specialists.
Today I went to my pain doctor which is a 45 minute drive from my home. Once I got into the actual room I spent about 3 hours talking to him about my symptoms, family history, finances and possible disorders. After all that he told me that it is highly possible I have either Multiple Sclerosis or Shy-Drager which has a life expectancy of around 6-10 years.
He told me that he wants to try and send me to Vanderbuilt Hospital (one of the best in the US) for further study and testing. The problem is I have very few monetary resources left so I may have to go as a "research patient" which would mean I may not have to pay for anything.
Anyways Im asking for your thoughts and prayers for a quick diagnosis.
God Bless my friends :)
Well I thought I'd share with you my Saturday. I was given the opportunity to be on the medical staff for a local martial arts competition. I was responsible for the care of some 30 fighters.
It started off with 2 exhibition matches the first was between a 12 and 17 year old boy and lasted 3 minutes. Both gave a good showing and dispite a knocked up head the 12yo was ok and gave his all.
The second actual match was between a 17yo and a 31yo. About 20 seconds in the 30yo recieved a broken nose but continued to fight until the break. I set his nose and let him finnish the fight. Needless to say the 17yo won.
There were about 5 matches after that. Apart from a knock-out, sprained ankle and a few winded guys it all went very well. I have to say that the minors did extreamly well, including a 14yo against a 26yo.
The competition lasted 4 hours and consisted of exhibition matches, kickboxing, touch-point, grapling and style demonstrations.
My only complaint is that I gave a severe discount to my general fee. Of course I had to because it was hosted by a good friend of mine and his Dojo.
COMMENTS
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wolfysnightmare
03:37 Jan 14 2008
Ppfftt.... Im your cousin & ive been calling you "muffin/cupcake" all this time. Yet when i do it you just scoff & tell me to shut it. NO FAIR! lol :p