The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

my arms hurt rele bad but i rele dont care....i want to talk to nathan but he is at the mopvies....yesterday i wen to threrapy n they was a new gurl n the new gurl was my best fren is skewl n so we were talking out side n we looked up n there was a cute guy looking at guys n he was pionting at my fren n we were laffing n all n then he told us to come up there but we didnt cuz we had to go but it was rele funny n then i talked to nathan today on the fone n i was happy n then he had to go..........

well i jus figured out that i love pain...i cant atop hurting my self......i love to cut....i wasnt doing it for 3 months but then last nite i was haveing a break down n i went krazee n i cut n i cant stop now..i love to huet me emotional n phsyical....

gods i cut my arms n my wrist n it hurts lyk hell....but i love the burning feeling..lol....im rele board ....

i hate that im feeling depressed n suicidal n i hte mt for hating n me hateing ppl n thangs n my life n that i m thinking that i want to die n i have nathan n i hate me i cant take it i hate it..i dont me kno me any more i dont kno any thang...........i hate me for being lyk this i hate me jus being alive i hate this world i hate that my mom n sis dont get me n i try to talk to them but i cant n i cant cry wen i want to .if my mom n sis find out that im smoking again they can go to hell n now im find..........fuck my mom n sis n my family.......fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.i have no clue y i did that but ok.........i rele think that im bipolar!!!

im so fucking pissed i cant talk to nathan n i hate my mom n sis n i ant to die but i hate me for thinking that cuz i have nathan n he will b sad.n i hate wen he is sad n i cant take it any more.n im having a break down n i dont kno want to do any more n i hate my life n my mom n sis n me n family n i need to tlak to nate but i cant cuz im grounded off the fone again n i jus nned to tlak to him lyk rele bad cuz im being suicideal ryt now n my mom n sis left n i cant takke it any more.i hate my self ryt now for wanting to die cuz i have nathan n it will break his haert n i dont want to do that to him..................i m having a rele hard tym ryt now n i need sum 1 to talk too but there is not one here!!!..................

im so fucking board n i want nate to call me but my mm has the fone n im not with her.....my sis n my mom said that they were going to the dollar store n that was lyk at 10:48 n now its 12:38 .......gods i have a head ache n i have to go bakt o court n i dont want to last nite i had a dream that james came over to my house n was beating me up n it was bad.......n my mom n sis said that i cant go to my family reunion n i want to go the only fucking reason they wint let me go is that my sister is not going n that fucked up!!!!.hello if my dad ia there i can take care of my self n besides its not lyk im going to go over there n ssay i want to live with u.i dont even want to live with my mom.i hate my whole fucking family besides my nephew Austin N Justin n my cousin Miles n Tony..........i sent daniel an email i wonder if he read it but if he didnt i rele dont care tho...........

i cant stand my mom n sis any more they dont care bout me i was playing with the dog n that fucking bitch cut my knee open n my hand n my mom n sis didnt do any thang n i was lyk heloo i cant walk n i dont move my knee n i hate them they cant say thang nice to me n they dont listen to me nay more n my mom wont take up for me wen my siter yells at me for no fuckinf reason......gods i hate them n i cant stand them n my mom was lyk u talk to me all dayy wen i told her that nate was going to call bak wat a bitch n mow she is saying that he is to old well fyck her..wen i 1st started to talk to nate she didnt care but no she doesnt lyk thathe is older then me n the only fucking reasont aht he doesnt lyk me talking to him all day id=s that she wants to her "fren" roy who i think that is her bf buit he lives n a diff. state n im lyk wen he calls i tell u n u can talk to him but no she has to b a bitch about it.........gods i cant not wait to move out of this fucking house n get my own that wud b the fucking happist day of my life

this an eamil that i sen to daniel.......





hey,



i kno u probly hate me.well i hate me too but im rele

sry n i jus told u that i was going out with nate so

that u wud get mad at me n never talk to me again cuz

i didnt want u too have to deal with ur problems n

mine.well i dont kno if u want o no but i went to

court n james cant come near me or he'll go to jail n

i have to go to court 3 more tyms n he might not go to

jail cuz they might not b enuogh evdince n i was rele

worried bout u cuz the hurricaine hit where u live (i

think not rele sure but ya) u dont have to believe me

bout wat i ssaid bout nate i dont except u too after

wat i did but i jus wanted to tell u that n im rele

sry bout evrythang n i think that u need sum 1 beeter

then me that doesnt have problems cuz i think that u

dont need to dael with other ppl's problems in get ur

problems taken care of but hey wat am i to say bout u

im the one whos a fool n an idoit but w/e u can syill

have me i dont except u to like me hey i dont except u

to read this but i jus wanted to say that im sry n

that i wud take it all bak if i cud but i cant n i

hope that u have a ggod life n that u found sum 1 that

treats u ryt n u are hapy n i hope u get in to the air

force n have fun.......well uy probly dont care but im

not going to get in there cuz i thinkthat im going to

kill my self b4 i get out of high skewl but dont worry

bout me jus take are of ur self n ur family .well i

guess ill better go ..bye daniel........



katelyn....

i went to court n now james can come near me or my mom n if he doews my mom nears to call the cops n then he'll go to jail but i have to go to pre trial on 9/1 n then if they think that theres enuogh evdince we'll go to trail so i have to go to court 3 more tyms n then to i was suppose to go the mental hosiptal but they said that the prigram i was suppose to b n they didnt have it any more n so im in a new program where i go there monday thru thrusday 4-7 pm n im glad that i go a 4 so i can sleep in omg i have been sick for the past few days cuz i havent gone any sleep cuz of my sis's bf n court n the mental hosiptal n now that i have to go in at 4 i can sleep in.....

well i broke up with daniel n it didnt go to well, i said that i wanted to b frens n then i told him that i was going out with nathan n he fliped but i rele dont care....i hate love...gods!!...n i have to go to a mental hosiptal well im an out paniet i have to go there mondays thru fridays from 8:30 til 3:30 but i come home at nite, n i hjave to go to court this thrusday well im not going, my mom is cuz they dont want me there cuz james is going there, then in sep. (i tihink) i have to go to trail n then i might have to testaive against james if he doesnt say that he did wat he did......but i hope i have to got o trsail so he can get chraged for a crime n then he might go to jail but ya......life suckz rele nbad i hate emotions there rele do hurt.....i shouldnt have told daniel that i was going out wiith nate...i m so fucking STUDIP!!!!............gods i hate my life......n plus i have to go to court again for child support that my dad owes........gods!!!....life is so messed up!!!!!!!!..but the only good thang is that i got mt poems bak!!!!!! n all ym journals n all my stuff but my mom made copies of it so the CPs can look at thenm n if i had to testaive then i have to talk in court or in the jugdes chambers or w/e...which i hope i get to talk to the jugde in not in the court were all this ppl will see me!!!!.......................:_(

well me n nate are going out n im soooo fucking happy...hsappier then i have ever been!!..nate treats me so good then daniel wud ever have...im soo glad that i met nate well brian.cuz i met nate through brian..long story....well any ways im sooo FUCKING happy!!*jumps up n dowm screaming YES!!*, yea ok?...but nate lives in TX. n if i go to CO. to go see my aunt..maybe we can work out sum thang n see if we can meet sumwhere...but im sooo happy... i love nate!!...its funny but rele kick ass kewl that me n nate have A LOT in commen, but im more evil!! im soo happy i cant even think at all...n every tym i talk or thaink bout him i get butterflies in my stomach (ooook? tht was rele fucking korny but i rele dont give a shit!!) yesterday i was in a pissed off mood cuz of my mom n sis there both fucking bitchs n i hate living here so fucking much!!...n i talked to nate n i was laffin n smiling n i never smile but every tym i talked to him on the fone or on the coputer i smile all the damn tym!!!...lol....n i actully lyk it!....I LOVE NATHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gods i was talking to brian n gods he types fast he lyk typed lyk 5 thangs b4 i cud say hey...lol...gods it scared me....lol..but nate rele wants me to call him n i think that wen i do hes going to do 3 ways with brian..lol..yay! two for one specail..lol..im going to see if holly can spend the nite to nite n talk to the bois....that wud b so fucking kewl!!!!...godds im still taking to take it all in (wat he said)...shit!...lol...ok im good!...shit i forgot i have to get my hair cut today...

god i added alot to it. i think that it is kewler now!!!!!!!! n im rele fucking board n tiredn there is nothin to do!

oh my fucking gods.ok i live wtih my sis her bf my mom n we have one computer til my mom getts me one for my room well i was on it to day well not rele they kept on coming down here n telling me that they needed to get on n i was talking to brian...brian if u are reading this im still very sry!.....gods i hate living here i want m,y own computer so i can stay on it as long as i want n no one can tell me to get off..i had to make brian wait for lyk 30 mindsthe 1st tym n then 15 the next, n my mom was lyk wen are u going to get off the computer n im lyk i have even been on n then she comes down here n telling me that i need to get off in a lil bit n i m thinkignt bitch i havent even been on that long....gods i cant stand her!!!!!!!! this summer has fucking sucked major ass! mother fuckers i hate them!!...wat else can go rong this summer!!!..i wisjh it wud rain so i can go out side but no its fucking hot!!!!!every one thinks that im getting better cuz im not fighting with my mom a s much hello fucking ppl i have even rele talked to her i stay away from her!!!...n im not cutting my self any more...dude as soon as skewl start fuck that im goignt o b cutting again...gay ass mother fuckers!!!!!!!!!!gods im so fucking pissed!!!..i want to talk to daniel.n speaking of that me n him have a lot of problems to work out.god last nite he wanted me to call nate n talk to him wen he was on the line n im lyk fuck no! n hre was lyk y not n im lyk he doesnt want to talk to u!!!!! n he was lyk y not n i was jus getting mad n he was saying plezzzz over n over n over agein n i wanted to KILL him!!!!!!gods ppl are jus making me mad lately!!!

man i m soo tired i wen to bed at lyk 8:15 this mornign n woke up at 2:45pm.....i hate to b woke up...today i hate to dress alll nice *GAGGS* cuz my sises bf's family n my family are coming here for a cook out n it sucks ass...but im weraing DARK make up n my mom is going to kill me...lol...but i rele dont care after wat happened last nite...god i hate my family n i rele wanted to talk to nate nif daniel getts jillis let him cuz he talks to other gurl n i dont care...well maybe a lil but at leatst i dont tell daniel ill b rite back cuz i have to call a guy lyk he does but he calls gurls...wat a mess i have to deal with.......but hen i got o dress lyk i normaly do cuz i went o a conceert suriving thaia..my sises bf brother in laws band hes the lead singer...n he rocks!!!!..this band is against the war n this one song is funny it has bushtalking in they messed up his world where lyk he was saying that he going to lead American in to murder n suicide n how we suck n it was funny as hell...........

omfg...ok me n my cuosin were talking to this ppl on the fone lyk 5 ppl on a live n then nate called me cuz i gave me my # n then he was on the line with all of us but then he fgot off cuz i cudnt talk to him but hten my cuosins frens were talking trash to me n i was playing too but then they took it to far n i was pissed so i was bout to have break down n then i told my mom wat was going on n then my sis hearn then they both came down n kinda yelled at him but then my mom was lyk the next wake me up in the morning n tell me u not need to wake me up in the middle of ther nite n i was piseed at the piont n now i hate her even more!!!!! but then nate called again n my sis was lyk this is her moms cell # so can u not call here n she'll call u n i was crying at that piont cuz i was haveing a break down...n so i hate my family neven more..i jus ant thkae it n then my fren katie was luk freaking out cuz i was talking to her n im suicideal n then nate was telling her that i was yelling at these ppl on the fone n she thought it was my bf n then i wanted to talk to nate but he ant on but yea rele bad day n nite or morning or w/e

ok i was talking to daniel n then i 3 wayed miles n joe..(miles fren) n they we joking with daniel n he was getting mad n i was lafin but i was being evil...lol....but then thye staarted to talk bout his mom n then he got rele rele mad n then they were getting in to fights n it was rele bad n then we all got off i had to calm daniel down then we did it again n he didnt talk n the they were fighting again so i was trying to tell miles y they shouldnt talk bout daniels mom n he wudnt listen n say fuck him n i was sooo pissed that i said fuck u n i waslked out n i called daniel n we talked n got in a lil fight n then we made up n then i topld him to b niice n then i tols the others to b nice, n so we all got on 3 way n then they were nice but he was still mad n so we all left n then me n daniel was talking n then he wasnt talking to me soo... I HANGED UP ON HIM!!! n he still hasnt called me bak!!!...lolo...wat an ass....lol...

well i went ot he therapist to day n i might have to go to family court bout james this thrusday or the nexted then i might have to go to court to see if he is going to jail or id not but either way he cant come near me ...im so fucking pissed at daniel again! last nite i was talking to him n then he said that he had to call another gurl n i ws lyk ok...so we got off n he told me that he wud call me well an hour passed n i called him n he was still talking to her n he said that he will call lata so n i said ok bi n a pissed off vocie! an hour n 30 mins passed n he FINLY CALLED ME wat a n ass hole..my sis n her bf might break up now ,...ook?im jus missing ppl lives up! i dont hink thati need to b alive! i was talkin got daniel last nite n he said that iff i do any thang with another gurl he was going to dump me n never talk to me n i hangedup on him but then he called me bak n i ws lyk that fucking hurt n he said that he was sry but then later on i was talking to him n i was telling him wat james did to me n h e was lyk y did u tell him do that to u n i think that he was mad at him for letting him do that too me n i was lyk wtf! hello idiot i was scared for my life he had weapons n the house!!!!!!!...me and daniel arnt doing to well........i life fuck sucks ass! i need blood! i think that they rele are going to brak up ok i dont think i need to live cuz im messing ppl lives up, my moms cuz she has to get a dievoiced n she still loves james n she fel guittly daniel cuz he cant be with me n well u get the piont my sises n her bf cuz we moved iin cuzz of me! i made me n my mom move!...im jus mistake!!!!!!!!!