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I got fired. I love cooking, its something I can enjoy, and I fucked it up. I got angry. I just can't stand it when the bartender doesn't even ask me if i'm alright with making something when its not supposed to be made anymore, so of course i'm mad. Why is it okay for the "order taker" to just assume the cook will do it. I don't gain anything from it. None of them ever tipped me out on a regular day. I gotta learn to check this anger especially if I ever want to cook at a decent kitchen.

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Sinora
21:17 Apr 04 2008

I'm sorry you got fired. Well all the best chiefs are well known for their passion/anger. Hope you find something soon.

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xXSeductiveXLustXx
04:34 Apr 05 2008

wow...though I agree with you...sorry to hear...people are shitty, and apparently they think it's appealing to assume shit...

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Drakontion
23:22 Apr 05 2008

I'm sorry hun =(

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Kontradiction
20:16 Apr 17 2008

:(





yes, it's the key. the restaurant biz is grueling, but oh so rewarding for those that stick to it.



you'll find a better spot and one that tips.....

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ToiletDuc
06:53 Apr 19 2008

If you haven't read "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain....... pick up a copy.

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Sanity, soul, remorse, a conscience...did I even spell that right? I don't know, don't care. What is it right now that I feel so fucking void? I crave that which is always ripped from me and shun it when its at my steps.



The boy who used to have ideals of what a man should be now struggles to hold onto any of those ideals. What, why is it in me never to take up selfishness and arrogance for myself, but I'll never be able to prevent myself from twisting, breaking, and bending for anyone I'd trust as a friend?



Anytime I even feel close to having something i've earned I see it taken from my grasp and handed to some self centered, uncaring fucktard living off a girl who could do better, parents who spared the rod and hand or even a faulty law that decided a man of true remorse and pennance shall never achieve beyond meager means. All the while, men who feel no need for remorse, no pennance, bound up the world of wealth and joy seeing no man as his equal and all to his service.



What did I do, what am I unable to do to rise from this mud I dwell in? ......Left with hope, I suppose thats what I won't let go, to still strive forward. Grant me the ability to find the strength inside myself while my will is my own and i'll prove a better man than I thought...

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Sinora
20:15 Apr 03 2008

*Hands over the fluffy for you to cuddle*....but I want it back. lol



Seriously, if there is no selfishness or arrogance in you....be grateful.



Far from standing in the mud, you are touching the stars which maybe you can't see just now....but trust me, they are there.

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I'll never feel bad for you, perhaps pity your friends and family but that is the extent of it as far as you are concerned. Selfish pathetic losers who slice their skin calling it an addiction claiming to be helpless to their own vices.



You're nothing i'd like and nothing I want my son to be. So selfish to take a life which you did not give even if it is your own. Suicide is not your way of telling "god" you quit. Its telling natural order, and mankind you don't want to handle the responsibility of living any longer. That you're too weak to continue on and should have been snuffed at birth.



The cutter, not as bad but still nothing to be felt sorry for. I'm sorry if life sucks for you but there was no one forcing the blade into your hand, no one forcing it upon your skin. I've been down that road so I know its alluring feeling of the metal grazing skin so soft and light. But too vain, to strong, to set to live and move foreward beyond the pain I live with to do harm to myself or anyone else. I take walks, I write, I cuss, hell I punch my walls and my bed if need be. I will never think ending my life, draining my essence would ever be a viable solution.



So why do you? What is the appeal? I'm asking seriously, cause i've had ass whoopsings, I've got scars and trust me I don't like that kind of pain. Perhaps one day you'll resolve yourself to a stronger will and rise above such selfishness than that. I hope so, cause mankind doesn't need whiney little brats bitching about how hard everything is. Lifes been hard from the get go, thats why you gotta LIVE it to the fullest. So put that shit down and go see how good the light feels on your skin.



The rain upon your face, the brisk cold on your lips, and the breeze running its light fingers through your hair. Remember you aren't the only person in this world, and definately not the only one hurting.



-Pinja Rant Ended.

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deathnitegrl
23:16 Apr 01 2008

I won't judge harshly those who commit suicide, I had suicidal thoughts too but self cutting no.

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