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Yes the weekend is over. I hate weekends it is time away from my son and I hate it. But come tomorrow I get him back end of visitation and I can be even more at peace. That will be awesome and I will be one happy camper. Along with the sucky part of the random go to hell looks from my ex husband and the fact for some reason him mom still likes me even though I took everything her man told me and smashed that shit. Oh well it is wired how things are. but then too they know they will be seeing me for 17 more years. Oh well gotta live with my past kicking me in the ass every time I move so I must cope and deal. And think at least he has something I never did and still don't.

Okay so I hope I am doing this right. Any ways here is some stuff bout me. I am a survivor and I try to help my friends who have the same problem I did. I try to help them through being strong enough to say the hell with abuse. Even though I know for a fact what has to happen is hard. Some of them I am just a shoulder to cry on cause for some reason they love the other enough to deal with it.



This is also the reason I am a single mom and have been sense I was 4 months pregnant with my now 22 month old son. But unfortunately the only thing I had was a EPO. But no worries peeps I am divorced and happy bout it. It was hard to say it was over and sometimes 2 years later it still is. For some oddballed reason I even find myself missing him sometimes. But I know it was for the best that I did. No one knew what I went through behind the hugs and smiles.



Sometimes I know it is hard to talk about but sometimes it is good to get things off your shoulders and live a little bit. Sometimes it helps. But nothing can make the trust issues I have any better. Someday I hope to get better trust me. I have been working on it a lot. But some scares don't go away and some still scares the shit out of me.



This entry is hard to wright I will admit. In it I am putting some of my most inner fears and some of the most painful of memories. But by doing this I am hoping to get better. By facing the truth and looking at it as a ray of hope. But it is still hard. Nothing I do seems to make it all better. But it does help a little.



Thanks for taking time those who do to read this pain.