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Sometimes I forget to think before I speak. Deary, I'm sorry, I haven't been thinking. I love you to death and didn't realize that it might be hurting you to see me with someone else. I did not mean to flaunt it in your face or rub it in, that has not been my intention by any means at all and I do apologize for it.

Family: Family is a funny thing. You have aunts, unkles, cousins and so forth. I have not had that luxery.



Here's my, or should I say my mother's story.



My mother had 2 brothers and one sister. Her mother abandoned her and her 2 brothers in a sears parking lot at the age of 6. That was the last she saw her.



Her father gave her and her 2 brothers up to the state and kept her sister. She was put into a foster home. At the age 10 she and one of her brothers was put into a foster home with what is her "adoptive family" until the age 13 when her father took them back.



By that time he and her then step mother were alcaholics. Her two brothers was in gangs, her sister ran away at the age of 13 and she left home at 17 and never looked back.



Sometime in her 20's she got back in touch with the Vousdan's " grandma and grandpa". I'm sure you can guess the rest.



One brother joined the navy, one became the same as his fater and drunk with too many kids and too many wives. Her sister went through a number of marriges and kids. She dies 15 years ago of an aneryism after a hysterectomy.



Anyway, I have never et these people and the ones that I grew up to call family, well thats a fucking laugh. I was never accepted and even my mom was a bit of an outcast. Though she's still to this day tried her damndest to be like them, I do not. I am not a christian, I am not Ms. Betty Crocker and I do not believe that we live in the 50's anymore.



As for my dad, well I have met maybe a handful of them, the rest are either dead or disowned for the most ridiculous reason ever known to man kind.



So to sum it up, I barely have any family. The ones I have grown to know as family have been my parents and my friends. But despite the crooked history of my genes, I have always wanted to know who my biological family is. Though my Moms father wanted nothing to do with me when I was born, I still want a piece of where I come from. I have never been able to locate anyone, until today. I found a cousin. My mother's sister's daughter on facebook.



So I sent a request to be friends send a short and friendly email and though she acepted me as her friend I still have not heard back from her. I looked at her pictures and profile. We could be fucking twins. Looks and personality. Hell we're only 2 weeks apart in age!

For the first time in years I want to prey. Not because I believe in it, but because Dear whatever is out there, you have no idea how desperate I have been to find family. I have dreamed of this day since I can remember. When I say since I can remember I mean since I was about 2 years old.



Side Note:



When someone asks " if your house was on fire and there was only one thing you could save from it, what would it be?" My answer, The bracelet my mom gave me when I was 4. It is the only thing her father ever gave her. He gave it to her to bribe her to come back and live with him when she was 13. It is the only thing I have ever had from my family and it is my heart. It's over a 100 years old, completely falling apart and I cherish it with my life.