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i am really lost and confused i have so much running through my mind wish i could shut it off i dont understand what happened i did everything for him i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him i even had a surprise for him as a wedding gift to him i had my fertility appoint scheduled for the end of july to start treatment so we could have a baby my insurance covered the medication now guess ill cancel it no need to have it now :-( he says hes not married to her but there are wedding pics on line so what am i too believe i wanted to believe him so bad some part of me still does as for i checked and their was no marriage license issued in MN for him but could have got married in different state and wouldnt have showed up in MN database sigh im so heart broken and it hurts really bad that my son is having a really hard time dealing with this and i cant explain to him y this happened if i dont know the answers myself cant wait to see my doc on mon cuz gonna need some new medication to deal with these thoughts im having guess he got what he was aiming for to crush me im trying to hold it together for my kids cuz im all they have now so when im alone i fall apart will it ever be normal again will i ever be whole again be happy again i dont see that in my future

really cant believe that he did me like he did our whole relationship was all a fucking lie he actually married her but thats all good i may be knocked down temp but im getting back up and moving on i am actually happy i didnt marry him so i wouldnt be linked to a fucked up man like him lying scamming no good dirty bitch now all i have to do is get his names covered and drop his shit off at his grandmas and i will be done with his bitch ass FOR GOOD this was the last straw and this is unforgivable god im so fucking stupid putting his bitch ass name on me as well as not being able to be apart of my sons life cuz i was with him i didnt even get to see my son graduate cuz of him making me think that i was crazy for thinking he was with her see i will ALWAYS follow my gut feeling from now on i knew he was being a dog he had been in the past i knew he would never change now i have the proof yep new screen name of puppet master jones yep exactly what he is played me like a fucking puppet he say jump and i would say how high news to her that hes a cheater and a liar that will never change talking bout she lost her rights to the baby that i was supposed to adopt him that he had an ofp against her and her mom and cant be around her that he owns his own house and car that the pic she has on her profile of their wedding was actually from a baptism that they were named the god parents i knew he was lying cuz just wanted to believe it good thing i started to live in reality a few months back i actually saw more wedding pics of theirs so the proof is in black and white cant deny it now 6 years of my life wasted with a no good lying cheating dirty bitch but its all good she can have him and no going back now

gonna have a blast tonight kid free gonna get drunk off my ass so cant wait i deserve it after what ive been threw cant believe he would do this too me oh well nothing i can do bout it gonna be my kids and i til the end no just have the hard task of telling my kids urgh

im gonna keep busting my ass and make sure my daddy son (Aiden) and daughter (NaVaya) know that i will not give up i will make sure my kids and husband are proud of me I will walk across that stage and get my degree I will officially graduated from college in Feb 2014 2 days before NaVayas 6 year anniversary Iowa here i come i deserve to walk across that stage when they call my name if i can go back to college and get my degree any one can. any where from now til middle of july my grandson can make his appearance we can not wait she is so uncomfortable and tired we officially have everything set up and put away in anticipation for his arrival now it is up to him on when he wants to come. she is almost 35 wks im so proud of my son Anthony hes leaving soon to go to basic training :-) hes gonna be states away hope he gets to meet his nephew before he leaves but if he dont he will after he is born the family and i are going on a trip to visit friends and family in several different states WIS (in laws) Ill(my in-laws), TX(judy kids, Amanda and kids), FL(bonnie and kids) and NC(tara and son and anthony) really can not wait :-) with everything else that is going good in our lives my health hasnt been too well doc says my lungs got injured more in the accident than what was 1st thought and with me continually getting pneumonia is adding to the scar tissue i am working hard on quitting smoking as well as losing weight :-) officially 30lbs down :-) whoot whoot lol never a boring day around here and i wouldnt change a thing if i could :-)