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I can't. .....can't get her out of my head, I can't forget what happened other day. I know she still have strong feelings for me I am sure she loves me. First time in my life i feel jealous. Makes me sick when I think she is probably with him now, she is not longer just mine. She has husband. ...i gotta talk with her we should try again i think. Maybe I can change this time.

I saw her today after 5 years, I was surprised, definitely i was happy to see her. She just show up on my door like she never was gone. She kissed me on doorway and go in living room throw her jacket on sofa and went to make coffee without sugar for her. I was like I'm dreaming. .....we drinked coffee and we talked little about life and how things going. .....then she come in my lap and kissed me like only she can do ....we had great day together, but when I woke up she was gone. ...she had back to him, she got married last year I didn't know that. Now. ..now i am broken, I knew that she means a lot to me but I let her go, I didn't respect her, I cheated on her, I made her cry every night, I didn't care how she feels, I hurt her many times but she always forgive me. ..i was thinking she will be always by my side, I was expecting that. I was selfish. And tonight I realized what she was in my life. ...hurts , pretty much hurts. But she deserves better than me.

Tired! ×_×