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I really just hate everything. I hate holidays cause something bad always happens. I hate the days that i look forward to seeing or spending time with my fiancee, cause those days we always fight. I hate looking forward to things cause of i get too excited it goes wrong. I feel like i get to experience a little bit of happiness for it to all just disappear in the blink of an eye. And its always my fault, always. Every fight i get to hear about one more way he doesn't like me, one more thing i need to become. I'm not smart or strong enough.I have no backbone, I'm nasty, i don't pay around enough, everything my first father told me. But i can't go, i can't escape this hell. Constantly I'm reminded that every outer girl he has liked is better than me. I want to escape one way or another...