The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The original idea was a list of things stopping me from writing. this is the result:



i've got nothing original in my head

my thoughts are dead

it's already been said.

i've lost my inspiration

i'm afraid to see in the dark

it's too hard to start.

i can't find anything motivating

and i'm too used to waiting

nothing in this life

feels free anymore.

there is nothing in my brain

i long ago finished going insane

i'd have to do drugs

to feel like myself again.

i have no identity

i gave up long ago

in getting free.

cuz what's the point of being free

when there's nowhere interesting to go?

all that creativity is for someone else

i put my dreams on the shelf

and when i wasn't looking

someone came in the nite

and stole them away.

all that's left inside of me

is an endless agony

of vague wanting

but not knowing

what it is

anymore

i no longer have thoughts in my head

they stopped making sense those things i said

and i'm nothing but the living dead

and i've forgotten how to sleep.

i'm gripped by moments of unreality

blind panic

anger

and homicidal fantasy

why the fuck doesn't life add up

to identifiable reality?

my words have no rhythm

i lost my soul

i have no ambition to move me anymore

each step i take

leads to further disaster

the harder i try

the more chaos swirls faster

help i can't see

my vision is failing

i don't know why this grief is hailing

down on me.

it seems i've been writing

the same pages repeatedly

in different ways

played to contrast

but really the same

i'm lost and alone

pissed off

confused

i never know

what the fuck to do

i'm too old to just blindly believe

but look to young to know whats good for me

my thoughts don't match

my personality

nor do they match the outside of me

why this fear?

is it because when i sought the truth

i realized this is the biggest lie of all?

no one likes my attitude

i'm not sure what i've got to prove

so i just don't bother to.

what difference does it make anyway?

no one listens to a word i say

i thought i would remake myself

start life again as someone else

i realized to damned late

that it was a big mistake

i have no roots

i've lost my friends

i'm all alone at the end

no one to trust

i've got no faith

always looking behind me

sick of being afraid

slowly dying inside

consumed by rage

and a need to feed

not sure how much more i can take

nothing clicks or falls into place

just more chaos

as i fall further from grace

i used to hope

i used to dream

i used to care and have beliefs

i thought i knew

where i wanted to go

who knew i could sink this low?

i'm trapped in this body

that's sick and weak

my life feels empty

what's in it for me?

everywhere i look people have given up

and now i too

no longer give a fuck