This has been a long time coming19:49 Dec 14 2012
Times Read: 727
Mostly because everytime I think about it, I get absolutely furious. Looks like Lord Fangor and I have something in common. Mostly, ex spouses.
Back in November, I called to talk to Connor, my son. For those of you who don't know, Connor lives with his Dad in Florida. For those of you about to wage war on that particular issue, don't bother. I had my reasons, they were sound reasons, and that is all I'm going to say about that.
Anyway, I tried to call on a Saturday, which is my day off. Nobody answered, and Jim has long since set the answering machine not to answer till after a dozen rings, and even if I do leave a message to let Connor call, he never lets him do it, so why bother. And apparently, Jim has bought himself a race car, and is racing on weekends, which means Connor is either with him in Moultrie, or with a friend for the day.
Neither of which gives me access to my son.
So I tried to call again, the Tuesday before Thankgsiving. And I waited until well past when Jim would have come home from work.
Still no answer.
Same thing the following Saturday, and the following Tuesday. Now the week of Thanksgiving I figured he might have gone to his parents' place in Tennessee for the holidays, and just didn't bother to tell me, since that is usually the stunt he pulls, and I didn't want there to be a fight on the phone while they were there.
But it took 3 weeks for me to finally get ahold of Jim and ask to talk to Connor.
"He's at Alexander's playing. He'll be home in an hour or so."
So I called back and Connor answered the phone. So
we're talking along, having a good time, and I told him I had tried to call, but he must have been in Tennessee, which they were, and he said that was ok, but had he told me he had been in the hospital?
0_0
insert frightened pause here.
Um, no, you didn't. Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?
What ensued after that can only be described as a complete nightmare for me. The only thing I can cable together from the half ass shit I got from Jim, and the vague kid stuff I got from Connor was enough to send me over the top.
Seems Connor was at school, and started crying. When asked why he was crying he said he missed his uncle, who had died a couple of weeks ago. Thing is, this particular uncle had passed away 2 years ago, not two weeks ago. After that, Connor said something else to the teacher, although he couldn't say what to me, and that is when the glorious school board of Quincy Florida decided that it was more in charge of our son than Jim was. Instead of calling him at work and telling him there was a problem, the school decided that Connor needed medical attention.
They put my son in the psych ward at the hospital.
This was Friday afternoon, and it was 5:30, when Jim was on his way to pick up Connor like he normally would, that they called him after the fact. And since it was Friday, and after 5, they KEPT my son in that place for 3 DAYS.
Does Jim call me? No.
Does he email me? No.
After talking to Connor for a bit longer, I told him to give the phone to his dad, and when Jim answered, I told him to go someplace where Connor couldn't hear him talking. Then I royally chewed his ass out for not telling me anyof the numerous times he had about what happened. His response?
I didn't have your phone number.
Which of course is utter and total bullshit, since I made sure he had it from the moment I left, just in case there was an EMERGENCY he could get ahold of me. I even gave him my inlaws' number as well. And on top of all that, it is IN HIS PHONE from all the times I called Connor. AND he has my email. So he had no excuse not to call me, and I told him so.
Then I asked him what he was going to do about this.
Nothing. Not gonna get a lawyer, not gonna take them to court, not going to put him in another school, not going to do ANYTHING.
He. is worse than useless. But only where I am concerned. He would go out of his way to do shit to piss me off, because he can, and he knows it. So I told him I wanted to make sure he and Connor understood that Connor can call me anytime. I would take care of the phone bill one way or the other, but I wanted Connor to know he could pick up the phone
and call me if he needed me. Jim's response?
"I'm not really comfortable with that"
Know what? I don't really give a DAMN what you are comfortable with anymore. You had your chance to have a civil reltionship with me for Connor's sake, to interact with me like an adult so we could do things for and with Connor so he wouldn't be affected by our shit, and you fucking blew it. You don't get that option of not being comfortable with jack shit anymore. I even asked him point blank about the racecar business and if he had a girlfriend. I told him I didn't give a rat's ass (sorry, Kay) if he had a fleet of cars and a harem, as long as whoever she was, she was good to him and Connor. But that did NOT give him the right to exclude me from things like this. EVER. AND I made sure I gave him my phone number AGAIN, which he probably didn't even bother to write down.
So I made sure Connor wrote down my number and put it somewhere safe, and I told him if he needed to call me anytime to do so. That I would handle his dad, and that I would be down in March, and we could talk about this more then.
From the round about shit from Jim and the half truths from Connor, what I got was this: That Connor had been in a fight the week before this, and gotten busted. That most likely he had done something that day that was going to get him busted. That my son, bless his heart, has hit puberty at 12, and is going through all the ensuing hormonal crap that goes along with that. That when he knew he was going to get busted, he started crying over his uncle, and most likely said something drama queen like he didn't want to live, or something along those lines.
In this day and age, schools are worse than anything I have ever seen when it comes to covering their asses over things like this. And the school, in it's infinite
wisdom, decided that slapping my son in a psych ward, without so much as a phone call to Jim, was the best way to handle the situation, to cover their own asses. And of course, the doctors were quick to determine that Connor was no danger to himself or to others, and he was out on Monday. That does not undo the damage these people have done to my son, or the trust he and we had in them. Connor now sees a therapist once a week, and he's fine.
I, on the other hand, managed to have a calm conversation with Jim about what an asshole he was, how this was NOT going to happen again, and then talk to Connor again, calmly and happily, to make sure he was ok, and then I got off the phone.
When Scott got to me, I was in the middle of a full blown fit. It took him a good hour to calm me down, find out what happened, and calm me down again.
And people back home wonder how I could have divorced such a wonderful man.
COMMENTS
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LadyPayne
23:07 Dec 31 2012
I shall take this one on...
My 3 people are simple...
1)SanguineOrder
2)LadyXblackXRose
3)MoonSong
SanguineOrder (though his name has now changed) because his wit and intelligence still leave me with a smile on my face to this day...He is my level head in things and is never afraid to remind me that I am being a bitch or that I am doing something stupid. And he is always there,no matter what, to remind me that I can accomplish what I set my mind to...and that he is there for me when I need him...
LadyXblackXRose,because she has a way of making me laugh no matter how bad things are...and she reminds me that though we are far away we still go through the same things as Mothers...She is always an ear for me as I am for her,no matter what in the end...Not to mention she will always be my Hunting Partner 'til the end!!!...
And MoonSong,because we are from the same state,though have yet to meet,we are alike in many,many ways and we just clicked from the very beginning...She has shared my pain and my happiness just as I have hers and we will always be that way...She has my heart and she knows it...Besides...we're Southern Redheads...We can only deal with one another....lol
I love and adore all 3 of these people very much...And that will never change...
Vampirewitch39
23:54 Dec 31 2012
Hmmm...it seems my three are lead to me by reading the journals.
RedQueen- for that southern tilt she has. ;)
Morrigon - for her artwork
Joli- her poems.
There are so many more but you only asked for three. While I don't 'talk' to these ladies I watch for anything they post, which is how I found them to start with.
ladybriarrose
02:13 Jan 01 2013
I have not been here long enough to have acquired a "top three" anything. But I am surprised to read the word "solid" with all it's implications, within the context of a virtual reality. Surprised, and dare I admit....perhaps even a bit encouraged.
Time always tells. :)
Elemental
04:06 Jan 01 2013
Since the other two KY gals are barred...grins...it would have to be:
You RedQueen - becuase it seems you are the other "soul sister" and have the same Southern values.
Meeper - Not very often - but more than most. She too has the KY connection and understands the importance of the Wildcats. :)
Emmy - Again not very often but the odd notes. She is just ..encouraging.