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Ok for those of you who have been tagging along with my never ending saga of how a marriage can go in the toilet, I thought maybe I should clarify a few things-I have been married to Jim for 20 years as of last July, and up until about 5 years ago, I thought we had a rock solid marriage-we took care of each other, we consulted each other, and we loved each other. However, after my husband came back from 2 years overseas of active duty with the Air Force, something went bad wrong. He exhibited behavior totally uncommon for him, and when I asked him to talk to me, he said there was nothing to talk about. When I asked him to get help, he told me HE didn't have a problem I had the problem. When I asked him to help with the bills, he said we'd have had $130,000 if I hadn't drank it all up while he was overseas, not taking into account that I was taking care of me, a 5 yr old, and a roommate, paying the mortgage, utilities, putting a roof over his computer room when it started leaking, paying car payments, etc. Suddenly he has his own bank account, he's not paying the bills that he contributed to, and he has left me with nothing. We are still married, but after the first of the year I expect to put an end to that. It's bad enough that he treats me this way, being condescending, overriding any wishes I have in anything, and not paying the bills on time. But I will not let my son grow up thinking it's all right to have a man treat a woman that way. So since I seem to be the problem, I will be removing myself to eradicate the problem. Leaving my son is going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do, but thanks to my husband I cannot financially take care of my son on my own. I know many of you have often wondered why I didn't leave before now-this primarily sums up the reason- I haven't got the money to leave yet. I don't know if I will EVER really have enough money, but come Feb. or Mar. it won't make any difference. I'll just have to leave. I will try to leave a note on my profile for those of you who are concerned so that you will know how to find me if you are worried, so have no fear- I may be gone for awhile, but I ain't gonna be gone for good....you people have come to mean entirely too much to me to let something like this knock me completely out. And God or the goddess willing, someway, somehow I will figure out a way to get the money to do what I have to do. Until then, you will always find me floating around here somewhere...I have hangman points to accrue...lol

I have finally come to the conclusion that "they" were right...money is the root of all evil...it has taken a woman who took care of me after my son was born, who I loved, and who loved my dad, and turned her into a harridan whose sole purpose in her insanity driven mind is to make me as miserable as she possibly can since the death of my father almost 2 years ago....it has turned a hotel that I once strode across the parking lot to with a smile on my face, because of the fun and friendship I had caused to be created within the walls of the bar where I work, and for greed and inhuman points on a report has become a veritable god as opposed to making the customers happy...

it has taken the 20 + years of my marriage and reduced it to $130,000.....the amount of money that my husband is holding such a tight grudge about that he is willing to let me drown in debt and destroy me financially, rather than admit that the real reason he is doing this is because I had the temerity to actually develop a life of my own outside his sphere of control when he decided that playing soldier was more important than the one year old he left behind, and the wife who needed support, and got it from nowhere here...he would deny me the comfort of his strength, yet resent the fact that I found that strength elsewhere, and still thinks that despite the fact that I paid the mortgage, the insurance, a car payment, utulities, doctors, etc. etc.etc, that I "wasted" $130,000 of HIS hard earned money....so here I sit, trying desparately to figure out a way to get my ass out of this without either turning to prostitution or robbery or drugs...and wondering if I did, would I even be able to make what a I need....and then wondering again what exactly is it I'm worrying about- the money, or what everyone will think of me when I end this fucking farce of a marriage...if I had a rich uncle I would beg...if I had the sight, I'd do a better job picking lottery numbers...if I had the looks, Id sell myself to the huighest bidder on e-bay (ain't technology grand...) anything, ANYTHING to get myself out of this situation cleanly, with no klingons...either i haven't the faith for the money spells I have to work, or they dont have the faith in me...

The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:

Persephone Vigée-Lebrun



Known in some parts of the world as:

Leto of The Howling Wolves



The Great Archives Record:

Hot of blood and running wild with the hungry wolves.



I'm beginning to get a complex here, people...evreytime I take one of these things, I keep coming up on the lycan side of life....kind of makes me ownder if maybe I;m not missing something here...