There are odd times....12:34 Aug 15 2009
Times Read: 903
When a person thanks God, the spirits, Earth Mother, fate, kismet or whatever you want to call it.
Over the years, I have had a chance to be in that position on many an occasion. When I met Jim, my first husband, when I met Scott my second husband. When I got home safe despite being tanked to the gills more often than I care to count.
But last weekend for three days, everytime I got in the car to go home, I stopped, closed my eyes and wondered just how things turn out the way they do.
I worked a *wedding* (didn't see that coming, didjay?) last Saturday. It has taken me a solid week to wrap my mind around that night sufficiently enough that I could sit down and write it all out here.
I was working in gallery by myself. The wedding guests started coming in, and they were drinking hard from the moment they stepped thorugh the door, and I knew I was going to get my ass run RAGGED. PLUS:
There were minors there.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I don't tolerate bullshit when I am working. I have enough on my hands just doing what I gots to do without having to babysit a bunch of teeny boppers trying to be cute and think they can get away with shit. So when this kid walks up to the bar and orders a beer and a glass of wine, I calmly asked him for his ID. He actually had the unmitigated gall to look UP into my eyes and say "Oh, it's not for me it's for my mother."
Fine. Then tell your busted ass lazy mom to come get it herself (or words to that effect)
IE- "if you're buying the drinks, you have to have proper ID. Your mom has to come get the drinks, thank you.
The boy flounces off. And yes, Virginia, boys can TOO flounce. I mean really. I have fucking jeans older than this kid. Hell, I have BRAS older than this kid.
So a few minutes later, the guy that is sitting to this kid's left, AND the kid, come up to the bar. The older guy orders the beer and the wine, along with 2 shots of tequila.
He then turns to the kid, and gives him a cigarette, then has the audacity to look at me and WINK. Does this asshole honestly think that just because he illegally gave a kid of 14 a smoke, I'm supposed to say "well, then it must be perfectly ok for him to drink, since you did something that stupid I guess it's FINE if I do too...."
They left the bar with the drinks. I of course immediately let Eddie (the supervisor) know what was going on. He said if I caught the kid drinking, just let him know....unhuhn...
A few minutes later, the guy to this kid's right comes up, and places the same beer and wine order. I looked at him, and said "None of this can go to the kid sitting with you. If it does, and I catch you at it, you guys are cut off. Are we both on the same page?"
Oh no no no I would NEVER give a minor a drink. You can trust me....
*followed immidiately by the check is in the mail, I'm from the government and I'm here to help, etc etc etc.*
So I fill his order, and off he goes.
15 minutes later this same guy comes back.
He wants 3 Prairie fires.
For those of you either unfamilar with the name, or shooters in general, a priarie fire is a shot of tequila with tabasco in it.
*pausing briefly for the random groans of gross out sure to span the site for a bit....*
He said to me, and I quote:
"I'm going to teach a young man a lesson about drinking"
*insert properly raised eyebrow here*
Again, I looked at him and told him in no uncertain terms that the kidlet at his table was NOT allowed to drink, was not LEGAL to drink, and if I saw him feeding the kid liquor, I would make sure he was cut off.
He gives me the most smarmy, greasy grin, and says:
"Oh no, ma'am I swear. I'm going to drink this in front of him to teach him a lesson"
Oh yeah. THAT'S going to do it....
Boys and girls, let me explain something to you. We bartenders for the most part are paranoid about that shit. In most places, serving minors gets you:
A) hauled to jail
B) a $2500 fine
C) your bar a $25,000 fine
D) fired
E) your business losing it's liquor license.
Any combo herein or all of the above.
So fine. I made the guy his 3 shooters, and let him go.
I watched him till he got to the table.
I watched him sit down and eat a few bites of dinner.
I watched him hand the kid one of the shooters.
I immediately hunted down Eddy, told him what had happened, and that he needed to go card the kid AT the table IN FRONT of everybody else AT the table, and to cut the guy off. Eddy said no problem, he was on his way. I watched Eddy go to the table, do his thing, then saw the two guys that were buying drinks on either side of this kid, get up and start stomping to the bar.
People let me clue you in. The LAST thing you want to do with any bartender, but in particular a tall, redheaded left handed bartender from the South, is to stomp up to my bar with an attitude. I will leave you with a sac and nothing in it, cause I will be using your balls for earrings.
No shit.
There is a reason why the 11th commandment is thou shalt not piss off the bartender.
The guy who had given the kid the shooter is getting all up IN my face, telling me I can't do this, he was legal and could buy the drinks, and what he did after that was his business. That he expected an apology, and another round.
Eddy was standing next to him on the front side of the bar, me behind the bar. You could have dropped quarters in Eddy's mouth, he was so shocked, he BACKED AWAY and is just standing there looking at me.
The guy looks from Eddy to me, then says "well?"
I looked him dead in the eye, and said:
No. I will not apologize, nor will I give you anymore drinks. You were TOLD if you gave this kid liquor, you'd be cut off. NOt once, but TWICE. We have new owners, and they have the liquor board sniffing ALL OVER this place, looking for shit. If you think for ONE MINTUE that I am going to jeopardize my job so that kid can drink think again.
I swear, I could FEEL my head swiveling. AND I had my hands on my hips, a sure sign I am NOT to be trifled with.
Amazing what can happen when you have FOUR men standing around with their eyes wide open, their mouths following suit, and their dicks in their hands with nothing to do. On top of that, I now notice that two other guys are standing there, listening to the entire discussion, and had been since it started.
The guy decides the better part of valor (and his ability to drink) depends on him apologizing immediately. He does so, but he's whiney and bitchy and bulshitty enough while he is doing it, but Eddy okays it with the firm statement that if it happens again, all of them will be asked to leave. I agreed to that, told the guy I accepted his apology, and even THEN he wanted to get huffy but he tightened up and they all headed back to the table.
That's when the other guy that had been standing quietly to the side listening to all this walks up, orders his drink, pays for it, and then pulls out a card form his wallet. I told him I didn't need to card him, that was ok. He insisted I actually look at the ID.
I did as he asked.
This guy who had been standing off ot the side and listening had an ID that indicated he worked for the LIQUOR BOARD.
For perhaps the third time in my life, I was UTTERLY speechless. And believe me when I tell you people, that just doesn't happen to me. Not at ALL. Just ask ANY of the zoo folk here on VR. *shakes head* nope, sorry. Hardly ever.
He said I had handled everything just fine, there would be no further trouble from that table, and that he was very impressed with the way I handled the situation. Eddy looks at him, asks if he can see the ID, verifies that my eyes aren't lying to me, and again, mouth to the floor, eyes wide open.
I had no more trouble from the older guys at the table, and I was so happy I couldn't see straight.
The BRAT, however was a hol' OTHER story.
He came up several times, and tried to sneak the liquor gun for the resturaunt over the bar without me seeing.
Stupid little bastard. The silly thing had been turned off since the dining room had closed for the night, and in the immortal words of Blade:
"You people don't know who you are fucking with...."
The kid got away from the gun, but not before I got ahold of him and told him he was to get AWAY from the bar, or he was going to be asked to leave.
Period. End of sentence. And punctuated by that patented stare that Southern women THRIVE on and have controlled men with for GENERATIONS.
At the end of the night, after everything had been cleaned up, the lights were up, and the last of the stragglers were heading for cabs, I sat down on the OTHER side of the bar to cash in change from my tip jar so they would have enough for the next night, and this little shit walks up and says he wants a sprite. Didn't ASK, he TOLD. I told him no, the bar was closed, and everything turned off.
Sawed off little bastard walks off, saying loudly "Thank you EVER so much, lady. You have been SO helpful this evening. You have a NICE night."
The ONLY thing that kept me from coming off that barstool like a shot and beatin' the ever lovin' SNOT out of the kid was the fact that Eddy grabbed me by the shoulder and made mention of the fact that the little shit wasn't worth going to jail over. AND he said it loud enough for the kid to hear.
After Eddy totalled everything up that night, it turned out that poor little 'ol me all by my lonesome had sold more liquor than the 4 girls in the resturaunt and the 3 bev cart girls on the course COMBINED.
*closing my eyes and thanking God again for that nght...."
Howdy Boys!
COMMENTS
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ladySnowStrixx
20:17 Aug 20 2009
When you Start asking these kind of Questions it means your too old to play!!LOL