The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

And considering the fact that both of us are currently transplanted to Canada, I find this hilarious...

You Are Not a Dumb American

You got 7/10 correct. You know a good deal about American history, but there's some basic facts you have wrong. Time to go back to history class!

RedQueen

Regular Member

Favor earned: 6666

"Ima burn for this shit."







Startled sheep



dead straight hair



tomato skins



tequila flavored lube for sheep



vampiric clown balloons



skin tight shirts and tutus *SNARK*



vapor locking



Willy Wonka on crack



TRIBBLES on crack



Killer rabbits



VR legos



mummification



Vampires on Patrol in Nawlins



Flat Irons and Hot Rollers



Pernicious tarts and cheesecake



snuffleupagus?



glittery fairy poop



Don King and fishnet stockings.



TEACH ME THE WAY OF TOMATO

Attack of the Killer Tomato ZEN

Give me the divine red with oregano

I ain't sticking herbs in my belly button for NO ONE



*raises hand heavenward* I HEREBY GIVE MY PERMISSION FOR ALL YON YOUNG WOMEN TO BE THE MOST BESTEST BITCHES THEY CAN BE- HERE YE HERE YE



I told Bri I wanna corset and a tuxedo to wear- and fuck me pumps

in purple

NO

YOU LEFT OUT PURPLE.

everybody there thinks I"m a drag queen anyway



aint a god damned thing in this room cherry, woman.





"Oompah Loompah"

"Afternoon Delight"

"Prop me up beside the jukebox when I die"

"Do you know the Muffin Man?"

"Laverne and Shirley"

"It's beginning to look alot like Christmas"



Time spent on Computer- 2 hours

Money wasted on snarked tea - $2.00

Friends who consistently get me so tickled I cannot SEE to type.......



I wubs you guys...

HARSH YOU SAY??





1) There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



2) No special ballots for elections.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



3)All government business will be conducted in our language.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



4) Foreigners will NOT have the right to vote no matter how long they are here.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



5) Foreigners will NEVER be able to hold political office.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



6) Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



7) No welfare, no food stamps, no health care, or other government assistance programs.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



8) Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

9) If foreigners do come and want to buy land that will be okay.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



10) BUT options will be restricted.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



11) You are not allowed waterfront property. That is reserved for

citizens naturally born into this country.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



12) Foreigners may not protest; no demonstrations, no waving a foreign

flag, no political organizing, no bad-mouthing our president or his policies.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *



13) If you do you will be sent home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

14) If you do come to this country illegally, you will be hunted down and sent straight to jail.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *





Harsh, you say?........





The above laws happen to be the immigration laws of " MEXICO "

Yes, I know I am old...lol

and I know that it is brothers in the song, not sisters...

But let me tell you something kiddies- when I was a teenbopper like you guys roaming the rave these days, these guys were the SHIZZLE...

And since so many of my sainted friends and sisters are tripping down memory lane, I decided to do the same, and at the same time, dedicate it to some of the finest women I have been priviledged to meet...

This one is for the girls....and for Cancer, although he may not know why...



Vampire Witch

Elemental

NIghtgame

LadyKrystlalynDarkstar

Queen Morbid

BubbleGumClaudia



Khayman

Imagesinwords

Requiem

Sahahria

CountessMoon

Welcome RedQueen





Your Status:

Savant





Pages Viewed:

131524





Time Spent:

28.51 days





You have completed

0% of this level.

......sometimes I just lie in bed, by myself, and pull the covers completely over my head. No feet hanging out, no fingers out from under, just completely buried under the covers....when I was young as all children do, I believed that as long as I was completely covered, nothing bad could happen to me. These days, it isn't the imaginary monsters under the bed or in the closet I fear, it is the much more complex and intangible things I fear...

So I pull the covers over my head and when I am completely covered, seeing nothing but faint light filtered through the blankets and sheets, I can pretend....



I do not have to deal with anything.

I do not have to handle anything.

I do not have to make sure everything is taken care of for the moment.

I do not have to think, feel, act, speak, or rationalize as an adult.

I do not have to pretend that I even remotely know what I am doing, or am supposed to do, or have to do.



People, situations, life ingeneral have a way of making you go for the things that give you comfort.



For some it is the simplicity of comfort food- macaroni and cheese, oatmeal cookies, homemade soup...

For some, it is the comfort of certain movies- Disney films, Harry Potter, black and white comedies...

For me it is the sheer pleasure of just covering myself up so that I can pretend at least for awhile, that there is no out there, no other people wanting to hurt me, no insanity I have to contend with...

There is just light gently filtering through the stained glass artwork of a favorite quilt, the gentle sussuration of breathing, the warmth and comfort of being wrapped in something warm...

As anyone who has been reading my journal (and don't lie to me, I know who you are...lol) Scott and I are currently living in a basement apartment in New Westminster, BC. We have had our share of spiders and critters, but most recently, we have had a visit by the four legged variety of critter, one whom I have respectfully dubbed Mickey....Mickey hasn't put in anymore appearances since he strolled down the hall and met me on my way to the bathroom, for which I am eternally grateful....I guess Canadian mice aren't used to the sound a southern woman makes when confronted in such a position...



Last night, after a marathon evening of grocery shopping, Scott and I were loading groceries up the hill, down the stairs, and into the apartment. I was putting things away in the pantry when I realized there was something amiss in the back of one of the shelves....



Of all the nuts, cereals, bags of this and that, boxes of pancake mix, au gratin potatoes, etc. etc. etc. not to mention the half empty but tightly closed bag of marshmellows.....



What do I find with teeth marks and holes in it???



Say it with me....





CHOCOLATE CHIPS



dammit rat......I was gonna make cookies wit dat....

I have never met this woman- I can in no way speak to either her frame of mind, or her intellect. I can however speak to several things about this entry-





This community may not have been INTENDED for pre teens, but the fact of the matter is, as we all know, that DAILY we have wave after wave of kids UNDER the age of 18, 16, and 15 logging in, signing up, and browsing around..As such, Cancer decided to make this site more conducive to having these kids around, by enforcing rules that cleaned up the types of pictures, articles, and stories we could have here. On the whole, most people on VR acquiesced without complaint, understanding the need for such safe guards- we don't like the idea of having them here, but the fact is THEY ARE...



Secondly, while it was not specifically mentioned that the wand was used in an erotic nature, "branding" and "scarring" are certainly NOT medicinal. Any kid with an IQ can figure that out, especially with the way things are in this day and age.



Thirdly, there was a LINK provided to explain what was being discussed, with a clearly printed link on erotica connected to the wand....



Now I may be being a wee bit sensitive. But if certain people are appointed or opt to take positions of power of some sort on this site, then I expect them to remember their manners. You are here to provide a service to Cancer, and to moniter this site. You are NOT here to insult people who have put in a great deal of time, money and effort into making this a very special place for ALL types-Just because you are a Dominar, doesn't mean that you can make something that has clearly been designated as INAPPROPRIATE for this site, something that is ok to discuss, just because YOU want it to be.



And being snide is not appreciated. You had no business taking your position and using it to be rude and condescending to these women.



GENERAL FORUM THREAD

Re: To wand or not to wand

Posted: 15:21:31 - Apr 19 2007

Times viewed: 59



First of all... this community was not intended for pre teens, but rather for adults. As far as protecting young eyes, that is the job of the parent not of the the rave.



Second of all, never was anything said about the violet wand being sexual in nature. If you educate yourself you will see that it historically has been used as a medicinal treatment.



Third, when a Dominar is involved in a thread, I do not suggest that an untitled member voices disapproval of the aformentioned thread.



Welcome to the rave~

Asian tycoon leaves legacy to fortune-teller: report by Stephanie Wong

Thu Apr 19, 9:15 AM ET







Asia's richest woman left her wealth to her fortune-teller in her last known will, Hong Kong media reported Thursday, predicting a costly legal battle to control her multi-billion-dollar estate.



Nina Wang, who died aged 69 earlier this month and had no children, left a legacy estimated as worth at least 4.2 billion US dollars after transforming her company Chinachem into a real estate empire.



A day after her lavish funeral Wednesday, two wills she allegedly wrote in 2002 and 2006 were published separately in Next Magazine and its sister Apple Daily publication.



The 2002 document said Wang's fortune would go to her charitable trust. But the later version named her personal fortune teller, Chan Chun Chuen, as the beneficiary.



Citing unnamed sources close to her family, Apple Daily said the relatives -- Wang is survived by two younger sisters and a brother as well as in-laws -- and senior aides were unfamiliar with Chan and upset by the new will and were set to take the issue to court.



The sources said the family held "important evidence" that could discredit Chan's will and were confident of winning any case.



Wang's lawyer Jonathan Midgley declined to comment on the reports and her personal assistant could not be reached.



If true, the 2006 document would have been penned two years after Wang was diagnosed with cancer and after she won an eight-year court battle against her father-in-law for control of her late husband Teddy Wang's estate.



He disappeared in 1990 after being kidnapped. His body was never found, and he was declared dead nine years later.



Wang's 2006 will said Chan would be sole beneficiary of her entire estate and would determine the distribution of her fortune.



The document, in English, showed Chan's identification number and date of birth and also said the 47-year-old would use her estate in a "good and proper way," according to Apple Daily.



It added: "My will is established entirely and wholeheartedly for the need and good of my family and loved ones. It is my great appreciation that my will could be announced fairly and righteously as stated."



The paper said the 2006 will was not made before a lawyer and was signed by Wang herself and a witness, an unidentified employee of her company.



Albert Ho, a laywer who has experience in dealing with inheritance cases, said the later document could easily be challenged in court on the basis that Wang, ill from cancer, may have written it under undue influence.



"The court would have a presumption that she was under undue influence," he told AFP.



"If there's evidence someone whom a patient trusts has exploited his or her weakness and ignorance to gain unfair benefits, the court could rule that the will as invalid.



"This is not uncommon and I've done a lot of case like this."



Ho also said the will could be set aside because it does not clearly state whether Chan is definitively the beneficiary or is required to distribute the money.



"In court, this could be voided for uncertainty. I think it would be very difficult to win this case," Ho added.



Meanwhile, Next Magazine published a two-page will provided by a friend of Wang and supposedly written in Chinese in 2002.



It named no beneficiary but indicated her assets should go to a charitable trust she set up with Teddy Wang before he vanished.



The document said the Chinachem Charity Trust should be supervised by the United Nations secretary-general, the Chinese premier and the leader of Hong Kong.



It said the board should ensure the foundation expands and endures and that it would set up international scholarship awards similar to the Nobel Prize.



Despite the earlier legal tussle over the estate, the will states that the trust should provide care and support for her father-in-law and his wife, as well as to Teddy's siblings and the education of their children.

Scott took me to the doctor on Friday, primarily to get my meds refilled-they apparently don't do phone ins from the pharmacy...



While I was there, I mentioned that I had been having trouble with my left arm, in the upper part; cramping, pain, aching, etc.....



The doctor did a few things, ran a few tests, and determined that I had "torn muscle fibers" 0_o



I have been ordered to do as little as possible with my left arm (please bear in mind that I am left handed, here, folks) and in particular, not to lift anything heavy or reach around behind me any more than is absolutely necessary....



In reporting this to Scott's parents when we went over for dinner on Sunday, Scott's dad nods sagely, takes off his glasses, looks at me as if to offer some words of comfort or advice.....so I thought....



QUOTE



"does this mean Scott is going to have to wipe your ass for you?"



GAWD I love my family.....

And what do I do? I am awake at the ungodly hour of 3:45 PST, and I'm rating because I am bored...figuring I would read a couple of profiles, like reading a couple of chapters in a good book, just enough to relax me and let me drift off to bed and sleep....



BUT NO



I have to go and read the new profiles- it took TWO....

JUST TWO...



*sigh*



I swear, it's just like Hollywood-not an original thought amongst them at all....



It doesn't take much people....even brand new, you could at LEAST put in a coherent, informative paragraph......



*goes to look for my fellow ranters, so that I might bleed quietly before returning*



*sigh*

Making an end run through my list of favorite journals, and I noticed two distinct lines of thought



SEX



AGGRAVATION



It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor,

will you be mine....

will you be my neighbor....



Oh you people are so rich with unplundered thoughts...lol

Honestly, can you see the thread running across VR around here...LMAO

Us girls....we just can't stop the one upmanship around here...

The plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.



The blonde replies, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here."



The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde sitting in first class that belongs in

economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.



The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here."



The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.



The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."



He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, I'm sorry." and she gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.





The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.











I told her, "First class isn't going to Houston."

This is TOO funny - type out the sentence you end up with, in the subject line and forward to your friends...also, PLEASE send it back to the person that sent it to you. ~DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING ALONE...



Pick the month you were born:



January------I kicked

February-----I loved

March---------I karate chopped

April-----------I licked

May-----------I jumped on

June----------I smelled

July-----------I did the Macarena With

August-------I had lunch with

September---I danced with

October------I sang to

November----I yelled at

December----I ran over



Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1- ------a birdbath

2-------a monster

3-------a phone

4-------a fork

5-------a snowman

6-------a gangster

7-------my cell phone

8-------my dog

9-------my best friends' boyfriend

10-------my neighbor

11-------my science teacher

12-------a banana

13-------a fireman

14-------a stuffed animal

15 -------a goat

16-------a pickle

17-------your mom

18---- ---a spoon

19------- a smurf

20-------a baseball bat

21-------a ninja

22-------Chuck Norris

23-------a noodle

24-------a squirrel

25-------a football player

26-------my sister

27-------my brother

28-------an ipod

29-------a surfer

30-------a llama

31-------A homeless guy





Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:

White--------because I'm cool like that

Black---------because that's how I roll

Pink----------because I'm NOT crazy

Red----------because the voices told me to

Blue----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want

Green---------because I think I need some serious help

Purple--------because I'm AWESOME!

Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader

Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars

Orange -------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway

Brown--------because I can.

Other---------because I'm a Ninja!

None----------because I can't control myself

Defense Attorney:

Will you please state your age?



Little Old Lady:

I am 86 years old.



Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?



Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.



Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?



Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.



Defense Attorney:

What happened after he sat down?



Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.



Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?



Little Old Lady:

No, I didn't stop him.



Defense Attorney:

Why not?



Little Old Lady:

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.



Defense Attorney:

What happened next?



Little Old Lady:

He began to rub my breasts.



Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?





Little Old Lady:

No, I did not stop him.



Defense Attorney:

Why not?



Little Old Lady:

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!



Defense Attorney:

What happened next?



Little Old Lady:

Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"



Defense Attorney:

Did he take you?



Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"





And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

*Sprays you with a water bottle*

Bad whelp! Bad! Go sit in time out and think about what you did.





Okay, for all the times I have wanted to just scream at whelps to get a dictionary, or use spell check, this has got to be the FUNIEST thing I have ever read in someone's profile...



and for slinging some of THE best one liners on the Gothfather thread, we are most humbly thankful...lol

*wiping tears from my eyes*



Dis could a-be my last journal entry....I have shamed the famliy, poking a-fun at da Gothfather...



Time spent on the computer: 4 hours



candy bars instead of dinner so I could keep typing: $4.00



Laughing so hard I had tears running down my face with some of the bestest and funniest and most articulate minds I have ever met....



PRICELESS



edit: got me out of doing the house work too.,..

And people wonder what I see in VR- it is the unfailing ability for the most intelligent, articulate, and ingenious people on here to occasionally cut loose and just have fun, to revel in that which is VR< and to poke at all things serious periodically....

For Requiem, Sahahria, and by proxy Countess Moon, I thank you for the best giggle I have had in ages....





From Sahahria







From Requiem





Daire





Khay





Countess Moon





Jason hisself





Images In Words





Sevenn

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

(ala Charlie Brown)



Have I mentioned that we have honking big spiders in this basement apartment? *flips back through journal* We have had small ones, hairy ones, and one REALLY big one that crawled down the wall that Scott had to suck into vacuum hell, only to have his BIGGER brother come creeping down the same wall not a week later when Scott was at work... he was so big I could hear him coming down the wall from the ceiling....I got so flustercated I couldn't figure out how to work the vacuum cleaner hose...had to mash him to the carpet and THEN vacuum him up-now only SCOTT empties the vacuum cleaner canister...

And yet FRIDAY night, after being out sorting through boxes in the basement of Steve's print shop (Steve is Scott's dad), having dinner with them, and just running around, we come home, and I head for the bathroom-one too many Bloody Marys and I had to pee something awful...

Just as I get the jeans unzipped and I'm heading for the door, what comes running at me from the den????



A FRIGGING MOUSE..............



I jumped up ON the couch from the HALLWAY, snatching my jeans back up as I went, and WHAT does Scott say????



"That has got to be the most GIRLIE thing I have ever seen you do.....you're so CUTE"

*insert big cheese eating grin HERE*



I swear, if I catch that thing first, I am gonna SLING its hairy ass under the covers with SCOTT'S hairy ass.....

let's see who is girly THEN, shall WE?????



And so HELP me, if I get anything smartass from that rat friend of mine, I will save it and bring it with me when I come for my visit this summer....