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I've become what I wanted and become what I did not want. Fate decided long ago, and fate became my destiny. Standing on that bridge looking out at the past I've found how wrong things have played out. My thoughts often fade out and I can hear the cries of all bubbling up to the surface of the water that flows below. I've often thought of jumping into the water and allowing it to carry me away with its current. I have become a myth a story told and retold. The memories so strong and fresh within myself that I can not fight this, this world that beckons my very soul into it. My life is for this moment, my soul is on fire and my mind is stronger than I ever could imagin.



Waiting for that one, the one that would free me from the pain, the sorrow in my eyes. The wind to carry me home to that place my love can and will repair. Light will come to the darkest recesses of life and bring balance back to the world of dreams.

I've opened my eyes onto a world of no other. That static of energy all around me. I find the anchient words so easy yet so few know it now has it become a lost fossil? If I spoke would anyone understand? In my mind I do not speak English I have to translate it just to get it out. The words loose so much meaning I often feel fusterated and emotionless spoken words. Magick and a little spice I call inner light sets the words on fire for all who hear the call. Lu'a yut moii awanna mei famda. My heart, my soul on fire fanned by the wind of mei pa'sha'talina for we are one and one are we.

such a beautiful lie. if a liar tells the truth would you not believe it as truth, which makes the truth a lie. very cleaver dear. each step i take brings me closer to your lieing toungue. twist this and twist that into a story, a legend, a myth. tell it so many times that the truth is tainted with the stinch of falsehood. look me in the eye and tell me no more lies, lol, perfect as our first kill, i mean kiss.........

Everything is not as it seems. Maybe tomorrow will end the torment of the long days. I am waiting, watching as the sun sets. The beautiful gold, pink, and purple glow like the clouds have been set blaze. Calm wind tugs gently at my hair and the sounds of the small creachers of the night begain there lovely serinaid. Music fills the air with its sweet sound only to be pushed aside for the breifest of moments as the wolves Howel out to each other. I can close my eyes and picture them running along the river banks breathing in the sweet air of spring. There foot falls so soft as if to sound like an anchient heart beat of the earth. Taking a deep breath I open my eyes to find that the light has faded into the hills and darkness crept up on me like a thief. The stars high above seem to just wink at me like they know some long ago secret guiding me. As I put my arms up over my head to stretch I could hear the crackle of twigs being broken, I turned to face the noise and there was someone that I have not seen in so very long. Just a smile and a nod and then they were gone. I wish on the stars that he could stay, that my love was alive and I could hold him in my arms. He saved me so many times I wonder if I can save him.

Can we be saved? Can we really be, or are we setting ourself up for utter failure? Thoughts that cross my mind these days. Safe, maybe not. Saved, I doubt it highly. Calm washed over me and I found that even though the thoughts swirl around my mind waiting for an answer I really have no emotion about it. Destiny or fate be it good or bad we all face it and it is up to each to embrace this or fight it every step. I for one have caught the idea that the fight is within my own mind and nothing can decided this for me. So for now I will watch and listen to the winds of change and allow the water of life to flow over my skin to wash away all doubt and fear.

Love came and gave me his heart. Loves embrace saved me and it restored me to my former self.