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10 entries this month
23:41 Jul 31 2010
Times Read: 740
He asked me to marry him. He talked about children. He wants some. I don't. I REALLY don't! End of relationship.
I mean, for crying out loud I have 5!! Granted only one at home, Justin who is 9 but I don't want to still be raising children when I am in my 60's....plus I have 3 grandchildren and 2 more due in November.
I just can't....I'm sorry.
Am I being selfish?
Cupcake16:32 Jul 30 2010
Times Read: 755
So he sweeps back into my life like nothing ever happened, he wants to pick up where we left off but with a twist, he's back with his ex. This boy wants to have his cake and eat it too, well I am not a bakery, fuck you!
Thought of the Day20:33 Jul 28 2010
Times Read: 809
15:10 Jul 28 2010
Times Read: 835
Can you ever really trust anyone? That answer would be a big fat NO! Then why do I keep on doing it? Why do I believe the words you tell me just to have you rip my heart out and stomp the shit out of it! I actually am feeling physical pain over this, my heart feels like it is being squeezed to death.........damn you.
01:24 Jul 24 2010
Times Read: 886
Feast or Famine I tell ya .....and I'm playing with fire, I should be ashamed, but somehow I'm not. I'm sure karma will be paying me a visit soon, ugggh.
Why can't love just be simple.
I Love The Way You Lie04:15 Jul 19 2010
Times Read: 913
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each others face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each others hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire
Self Esteem02:37 Jul 18 2010
Times Read: 929
You asked me if I hated you, I said "no, I love you", but you know what? There is a very thin line between love and hate and right now you are looking like my bitch....
I think I'm done.
21:21 Jul 17 2010
Times Read: 950
Do you believe someone when they tell you they will love you forever? They would do anything to be with you? Really? Anything? You would be a fool if you did.
Looks like I'm a fool.
Because I did and you didn't.....
08:12 Jul 04 2010
Times Read: 1,027
You know how I always say that when my ex-husband comes to the house he can never look me in the eye? Well today he looked me in the chest and I do mean "looked". Heh, the girls were peeping outside a bit today and I will admit that I felt some satisfaction.
Yes, I'm a very bad girl ;)
04:22 Jul 03 2010
Times Read: 1,082
Oh man, I sure get them all. Am I supposed to be flattered? Sounds like a bunch of BS to me lol:
ardRichard Cirsalli
7:06 PM
From: Richard
To: Jadee (pandoraswickedbx@myspace.com)
Hello beautiful angel How u doing i am Richard 52 years from Orlando FL, 6'0ft singel seeking for a very nice beautiful women like you and honest, I want to start off by telling you how madly i like the pic you have on your profile it is very nice,They said pics are worth thousand words but when i saw yours i was Speechless. Did anyone tell you that you are one of the most beautiful women on earth, Your smile lightened my whole heart when I looked at your Profile i was astonished at ur unbeatable beauty It must be raining when you were born, because God was crying for losing his most beautiful angel…How long have you been living on earth? When do you have to be back in heaven.....I would like someone that will love and respect me for who I am, that likes to hold my hand and surprise me with a little kiss when I least expect it,or give me a wink from across the room to let me know she's thinking about me or give me a call just to let me know she's thinking about me... Because I will be doing the same.I would love someone who is fun to be around, likes to laugh, joke around, enjoy being outdoors going for long romantic walks, enjoys looking at the stars at night, and watching the sun set and rise over the ocean. I am looking for someone that enjoys the simple things in life, just as I do. I would like to meet someone special that I can grow old with, and that we can always look into each others eyes and know that the love between us is just as wonderful and exciting as the day we met if you care to chat you can get in contact with me here on yahoo chat searching4love_102@yahoo.com (*)(~~)@};- am online now
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COMMENTS
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CarnelianMyst
00:04 Aug 01 2010
That's what's called a hard limit. Mine too. Way too old now to start a family, so kids are out. You did the right thing. *hugs*
MDLIVE13
00:07 Aug 01 2010
WTF??????
PandorasBx
00:08 Aug 01 2010
Thanks hun, this is so hard...
PandorasBx
00:09 Aug 01 2010
Me and Frank Matty....
xxEmaeraldxx
00:13 Aug 01 2010
Sometimes in life we have to make real hard choices... Be strong. X
Kyriele
00:15 Aug 01 2010
I sit here now at 46 and look at my twin 10 yrs olds and think.....I've been parenting non-stop for 23 yrs now! Non-stop, Jadee! By the time they're 20 and moving out (hopefully) it will be THIRTY-THREE YEARS...and the PRIME years!! I'm going to be too old to enjoy my empty nest. Hell! I'll probably have Alzheimer's by then and forget I even had children to HAVE an empty nest.
PandorasBx
00:16 Aug 01 2010
Yeah Barb, I've been raising kids for 28 years....I'm tired.
CryingMist
02:20 Aug 01 2010
you are right girl I have 3 plus 1 misscariage and now I am living, I do not want to raise another family, it is not being selfish it is being realistic and adult about things.
PandorasBx
02:35 Aug 01 2010
Thanks so much :)
PAGAN
14:00 Aug 02 2010
i agree with whats said here its time for you ;)
Theban
12:57 Aug 03 2010
No your not being selfish, your being realistic.