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I knew that there were greater evils in the world but none so much that would affect me so negatively. Lately I have not been sleeping, none the less staying asleep. Sure, ever couple of days I will actually sleep. Yet some, not so much. these past two summer months have been both bliss and blastphemy. Friends have lost friends and even family members due to addiction and loss of control. It's truly horrifying for me.

I care about these people too deeply and yet I can do nothing. we are miles away from each other and a call, an email is all that we can do. For me being optemistice surely does help, but not always. Right now, those of whom have passed on in this life to the next are truly in a better place. However, for those who wish for death I cannot say the same.

At the moment I have family members who are in pain. Those of us who are addicted, those of us who are the innocent, and those of us who can do nothing. Right now I can do nothing but be supportive. I have no money that can heal them but I do have a heart. And even one heart isn't enough. In a way, I wish I would have known sooner before they relapsed. I regret not being there, seeing them before everything fell apart.

It is a shame and I fall into tears for their offspring who have no idea. they are the innocent. I love them so much. They wont know until later what is happening. Those children have lost every thing. All I hope for is that they have a parent to come back to.

Even though I am not a direct victim, it still affects me. The pain I see in my other family members, fearing for their children, their siblings. It is the pain that I could not cry infront of them because it is almost still new to me. Yet on these restless nights when I have so much on my mind, what am I to do? I understand so much but still know so little.

I do hope that anyone and everyone who has gone through a same dimensia can relate. We need no sympathy, nor pity. It is the mere understanding that means the most. Honest under my families passing I could not have foreseen this. None of us except those who made themselves the victim. Our mind is so precious yet one thing can tear us from reality.

I love my family and I love my friends. I don't ever want to see them in pain because I love them so. My goal is to help for the future, to make us one step closer to togetherness and unity in this world. Prejudice of the same issuse I cannot tolerate. Tis why I chose this as my goal. So do a favor to not only those who care, but yourself. Really think before acting.

Straight Edge

X

Eternal♥

COMMENTS

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princessofdarkness69
04:59 Oct 19 2008

i love your words they are so well thought out and they really speak

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