The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Hehehe, I have an idea... if I start getting people pm memberships for a month at a time they'll get addicted to the privliges. ... which means they'll probably figure that four bucks a month is so worth it and buy thier own... which means I'll be helping the site, and getting other's to do so too...



I also told everyone how I saved pennies to buy a one year subscription, and that by the time it goes away, I'll have enough for a life time... :-) that'll be sweet.



I'm kinda hoping Cancer will notice what I'm doing... I can't help it... I was thinking to myself earlier, why is it bad to want attention? I mean, some people want to stay out of the lime light and no one makes fun of them, so what's wrong with being a louder personallity?



I don't know, I just like being big about everything, there's nothing I can do, and I'm really not sure there's a reason I should want to do something about it in the first place.

I just sent someone an short message and realized after I didn't write a single word..





lol, omg! ty

My friend had his friends over and some of them are a bit young... I guess we're a bit young too, but their even younger. We don't have them over often because we don't want to disillision and corupt the kids...



I guess he's been over too long... today he asked..



"What's camel toe? Is that when you wear a belt too tight and you get red marks?"

I reached 200 favor, which is more than anyone else in the house by 45 games of hangman.. which is good because I have to go to work for a while soon. I don't want to leave the website. I wonder if there's any laws against keeping us here like this... it doesn't seem right... lol... I don't want to leave...



Anyway, I can't help but wonder if I should spend my last hour rating things and working on my own status, which raised to Savage today... or working on the hangman game some more and protecting my house from Daire's house...



stinkinghouseiscatchinguptofastformyliking



I'm just going to come home tonight, find out that someone earned more points than me while I was at work, and spend the whole night playing stinking hangman....



Actually, what really worries me is that Cancer is going to pop out with one of the new contests while I'm at work and it's going to be worth like ten points or something stupid like that and I'll be way behind.. :-(



I worked my ass off for my lead, I don't like the idea of someone coming up behind me and eating my ass out from under me... what an odd expression.. lol



I know the favor isn't supposed to be a compitition.. but I can't help but treat it that way. It's just the way I am. I always want to stand out, find a way to be the best, the brightest the biggest star... and yet, I'm really not good enough at anything to claim that spot for my own.. it's an endless battle between the reality of my dorky self, vs the fantasy of being the center of attention...

As a writer one of the things I do every day is make sure I write something. For the longest time this was in the form of diaries I kept, and still keep to this day. The dairies were expansive and large, only two years worth took up all the storage space of a ten gallon tub.



Also I felt guilty, for what is the point of writing if not to take it out once and a while and see if you can get a new edge on it. Something that allows you to see something from a different angel perhaps.



So I began to write on computers, happy to see that I could store loads more things on the little disks I carried to the libraries, than I could ever carry on my back when we went to a new shelter. They were wonderful to me, though some flaws made themselves apparent. I hate structure to a point now, but back then I hated structure so much I wouldn't even let my shoes be in a straight line. Probably a side effect from always going from place to place where the rules were always different.



I lost a lot of my creativity by writing on the computer, and yet in another way I began to grow as a writer. I began to have to learn to show my creativity in a new way. Instead of drawings on my papers, shoved in the box I began to learn to paint the pictures in words. I also bugged myself and taught myself a few different computer programs. Mostly the basics, but enough to get by with.



In the last few months, I lost my computer, and couldn't really schedule time in anymore to go to the library. Now instead of school occupying my time, home and work were, and I had a bit more trouble than I thought. This is the first time I've written anything like I used to on the computer. I've had to go back to writing by hand, and my hands have ached let me tell you.



I know I haven't kept many of my entries like this on this websites diary, but I think I'm going to be using this one more anyway. The timing of the Houses lets me be here all the time anyway, so why not type with the thoughtful eyes of the squirells and the spiders on me?

lol



I lost my internet for the longest time... I didn't even get to enjoy my premmy membership! I lost it a few days after I paid for it.. and when I got the internet back... it was gone.. :-((



Ahh well, let's see what I can do..