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I am so close to being able to play the first few measures of that difficult passage up to speed, I can almost taste it. It will still sound a bit muddy, but if I can just get it up to speed, that would be a huge breakthrough.

I was given incorrect and incomplete information. The concert is not the first, it is the fifth, and the audition is after the concert. Yay! More time! It may still not be enough, but I am going to do my best. I've already practiced for about an hour and twenty minutes. I'm going to take a bath, eat, and practice more. I will take frequent rests so that I can practice longer.



I am changing some of the fingerings because they are ridiculous.

The concert is October 1st. I've been told the audition will be the day of, before or after, or the day after.



Depending on when it is, I may not be able to get there, if I don't have a ride. It would be nice to know ahead of time so I could make arrangements. Oh well, I've done my best. If I have to not make the audition because I have no way to make plans for transportation if no one can tell me when it is, I have no control over that. I will keep playing and getting better on my own and look for something else.



I just hate the thought of not even having a chance because everyone assumes I could just jump in my car and drive there, whenever it is. I don't have a car, and I have to work. I have to give three weeks notice at work if I need the day off. Too late for that.



I hope I get my chance.

I was going to write something about a jerk manager. I just did. And that's enough. He doesn't deserve any more of my time, or even what I've already spent.



May tomorrow be a better day.

I woke up later than I wanted to, so I had to walk to a stop that's farther away than the one I usually walk to. I went to the group lesson, met a friend for lunch, another friend picked me up, and we visited for awhile.



Then we had dinner at her house. Then I stayed while she went to a baptism so that someone over the age of eighteen was there when the nurse came to work with her disabled son. I practiced while I was there. Then she took me home.



On the way, we stopped and got Coke and cookies. When we got to my house, we sat in her van and talked for awhile. Today was a full day. But it was not stressful.



It's raining again. Here's hoping the flooding doesn't get worse.

It rained again yesterday and last night. I wish I could stay home and sleep.

I visited with a friend today. I had tacos, and good laughs. I practiced at her house.

The world is not black and white. It is grey. So what is good? Is it simply artifice- a mask worn by the bad to fool the naive? Or do good and bad exist, conjoined, inseparable, within everyone- a different mixture, different shades- but never purely black or white?



When is it worth risking encountering the bad to find the good in someone? Where is the line you just don't cross- a little too much of this grey, and not enough of that?



How long do you try, and when should you give up?

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard.

Do not let pain make you hate.

Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree,

you still believe it to be a beautiful place.

— KURT VONNEGUT

How does my brain know to wake me up an hour and a half earlier than I need to be up, no matter what time I actually need to be up? Why does it keep doing this, and how can I stop it? I had to get up an hour earlier today for work, and if I had awakened at my too early for my normal time awakening, I would have been fine- plenty of time. But no- my brain gets me up yet another hour earlier. Why?



I am so tired.

COMMENTS

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xRosex
05:56 Sep 09 2013

I do the same thing every day. :(

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NLW
06:01 Sep 09 2013

I'm sorry! :(

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Practicing string crossings- any passage I can find- over and over again. I'm also doing a fingering exercise that I made up for myself in Jr. High, to get my fingers faster.

COMMENTS

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xRosex
03:36 Sep 03 2013

Everyone loves a good fingering. (Creepy wink) ;) jk lol

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NLW
04:52 Sep 03 2013

Oh my gosh! Lol!

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I bought new rosin and changed my E string. It has made a difference in my sound. Yay!